First time post

[Afaaf]

Today is worse for me am constantly thinking of suicide I am soo disappointed with myself I don't know how to relief this pain

[Hidden]

You need to see a professional as soon as possible. You’re human with the disease of depression, so don’t be so hard on yourself! I should have welcomed you first off to this forum...Welcome! You will find friendly support here and are never alone. Please seek attention now for your suicidal thoughts...I know the feeling well and I can say that today, I’m so grateful to be alive. Please keep us posted on your progress and make that call now! Thinking of you...

[Afaaf in reply to Hidden]

I don't know why I cry out of the blue I don't know how to seek the help my mum is traditional she thinks I have devils in me that might confuse me, my family thinks am this quiet girl who is anti social but it is just that I tend to isolate from people because am afraid of them and I get awkward around them cause I don't know how to engage with people I feel like a failure and God should replace me with someone who is worthy of life, am sorry for the negativity in my post it is just that am tired of thinking and crying

[Hidden in reply to Afaaf]

How old are you Afaaf? You should not be replaced, but exactly the opposite is true! You’re unique and special. Very articulate and insightful. I understand your negativity! I really think you need assistance though with your suicidal thoughts. Do you think you could find a way to approach this topic with your parents?

[Afaaf in reply to Hidden]

Noooo my mum is a single parent I don't have a relationship with my father, my mum is hurt herself and she doesn't talk as well, I feel. Like if I tell her she won't understand but rather worry so much and I don't want to stress her more I rather feel the pain on my own

[Hidden in reply to Afaaf]

Do you understand how special you are?...There is only one YOU!!! Please seek the help you need. I'm here for you & grateful that you have reached out. Listen to what everyone is telling you...that my friend is LOVE!!! I wish you all the best! Huge hugs for you!!! XXX

[eharvey8]

I'm sorry you're at such a low point- I've been there and I know how horrible it feels. Please call this number and just talk it out 1-800-273-8255 (I believe that's the correct number if you're in America). You owe it to yourself and the people who care about you to give that number a call.

Also, I'd like to share a thought with you as you're thinking about the value of your life. I had a social studies teacher in middle school who, whenever talking about tragedies where life was lost, described each person's life as "a little ball of infinity." You are a little ball of infinity– your life is not done and there is an unknown (but extremely large!!!) amount of potential left in you- you just have to stay alive to let it play out. Maybe you're getting professional help right now and it's just not the right fit or maybe you haven't gone down that path yet, but I promise you if you keep searching for answers and help, you will find it and start feeling better. Each step you take towards health is a step towards a life with possibilities that none of us can dream of, and you won't know the beauties in life that are in store for you unless you are around to see them. There is more for you, my friend. You deserve to see what more is out there for you because I guarantee you it is there. Sending love and best wishes. Please call a hotline or even 911 if you need.

[Afaaf in reply to eharvey8]

Am not in America am in Africa and mental health is not so appreciated here I feel like I will be stigmatized by people and especially my family I turned 20 last week, I know it will be okay but my bad days overshadow the good minutes I have

[eharvey8 in reply to Afaaf]

I'm sorry- I can't imagine what it must be like somewhere like that. I'm 20 also, so I do understand the difficulties of this age though. Is there any support for mental health where you are?

[Afaaf in reply to eharvey8]

I don't know, there are no awarenesses but it is okay I will go through this pain alone

[eharvey8 in reply to Afaaf]

You are not alone- that is what this group is for. Also, I bet there is some form of support around you, even if the awareness is little right now. Lots of people suffer from mental health issues since it's a disease, so everywhere in the world there are people dealing with it, the only difference is how much it is talked about.

[Hidden in reply to Afaaf]

You do not have to go through this alone...we are all here for you! Love & Hugs!!! XXX

[Hope4me2018]

Listen to me and please listen good. You are not alone, you are not the only person going through pain. When I have been at my lowest and could not see straight any couldn’t imaging any kind of happiness and wanted to end my life. I cried out to god to help me and I got angry when he did not when I wanted him to. He allowed me to go through this pain for a reason. Your feeling this way for a purpose. This will make you stronger and it too shall pass. If you can’t seek professional help try to remember things that make you happy or good times you’ve had. Think of what would make you happy and how to achieve it or get to that happy place. You are important and no matter how bad it may seems it’s never as bad as it could be. You have your health, your limbs. Think about people who aren’t as fortunate to have those things. You matter and only you can decide if you are going to fight! Stay strong, stay in prayer and stay talking.

[Hidden in reply to Hope4me2018]

Wonderful reply & I agree 100% !!! Listen. XXX

[Flip00008]

Sorry this is going on... I can tell you- you are not alone. You are very special and very unique! Just like anxiety_59 stated: There is only one you! I have felt very similar at times... and it is hard. I suffered with severe depression when my son was sick. He is doing very well now, but there was a time when I thought I would loose him... It broke me to a point where I was sick of everything. But I was only focusing on the darkness-- I was missing all the beautiful in front of me. I want you to know that I am praying for you and I hope to hear back from you soon!