First Post

[GrampaGuy]

I'm 68 years old, in reasonably good health, and I'm losing some of my will to live each and every day. I'm getting angrier and angrier about things that rarely used to bother me. I find myself isolating more and more. The problem? Things are not going my way, and haven't been for the past 6 years. Mainly, my granddaughter is no longer available to me. I'm not a nut or a crazy person. I just need to talk about what has happened to my life and what I've tried to do about it, and how frustrated I am.

[BonnieSue]

You need someone who knows what their doing to listen to you and let you have your say. Together you may come up with a way for you to get both what you want and what you need. And you can vent here and at the counselor's place. Anytime!

I'm so sorry that your granddaughter isn't available to you anymore. This doesn't sound right. I'm sure she didn't like it at first either. But since it's been so long, I don't know if she'd remember you much. Kinda/maybe. It would be fun. Take care of yourself and you'll be feeling a lot better soon.

[GrampaGuy in reply to BonnieSue]

My granddaughter is 12. I haven't seen her or been in communication with her since she was 8. Up until that time, I was her surrogate "daddy" while her parents struggled with drug and alcohol abuse. Her mother has since made a wonderful life for her by marrying a good man with a responsible career. The only reason I have been cut out of her life is because I am the father of her biological Dad, and the mother wanted to give her a clean slate. I'm happy for my granddaughter, I send her cards and presents for birthdays and such, her mother sends me pictures when I ask for them, although I never get a response or a thank you. I'm getting older and afraid I'll die before I ever get to see her again. I know she remembers me..we were too close for her to forget me. I supported her with love and financial securityfor 8 years. Now I'm being treated like I'm a nobody to her. My family (wife and daughter) has moved on, as if my granddaughter never existed. My stomach hurts just talking about this. It wears on me everyday.

[NFDK in reply to GrampaGuy]

I feel SO sad at reading your words. Your pain leaps off the page and I know that you are heartbroken. Would her mother agree to a sit-down chat with you? Surely she realises that her behaviour is brutal and - In my opinion - damaging to her daughter's sense of security, self-esteem and trust in forming future attachments? Wendy x

[GrampaGuy in reply to NFDK]

I agree with your opinion, Wendy. The thing that gets me the most is that my granddaughter used to snuggle up to me when she was little and tell me she was afraid of bad things in the world, and I promised her I would always be there to protect her. This used to comfort her, as it would any small child. Then, she was snatched away from me and I couldn't even tell her it wasn't my decision. God knows what her mother told her about why Grampa is not in her life anymore. The mother always said, "we have to do this for her until she gets older." OK..now she's older and I need to see her before I get much older. Your empathy is helpful to me Wendy. Thank you. How are you doing?

[NFDK in reply to GrampaGuy]

Thank you, I'm ok. I have meds which take away a large amount of the physical pain I'm in every day. I do understand your pain. Your situation is truly heart-rending.

[BW33 in reply to GrampaGuy]

On Facebook there is a support group Parents Grieving For Living Children.

[BW33 in reply to BW33]

Please let me know if U see this!

[NFDK]

Please, talk about what has happened to you. I have huge problems with anger too - and it is really good to be able to talk these kind of feelings out - with whomsoever you feel to be a comfortable listener. Wishing you some peace, Wendy x

[GrampaGuy in reply to NFDK]

My granddaughter is 12. I haven't seen her or been in communication with her since she was 8. Up until that time, I was her surrogate "daddy" while her parents struggled with drug and alcohol abuse. Her mother has since made a wonderful life for her by marrying a good man with a responsible career. The only reason I have been cut out of her life is because I am the father of her biological Dad, and the mother wanted to give her a clean slate. I'm happy for my granddaughter, I send her cards and presents for birthdays and such, her mother sends me pictures when I ask for them, although I never get a response or a thank you. I'm getting older and afraid I'll die before I ever get to see her again. I know she remembers me..we were too close for her to forget me. I supported her with love and financial security for 8 years. Now I'm being treated like I'm a nobody to her. My family (wife and daughter) has moved on, as if my granddaughter never existed. My stomach hurts just talking about this. It wears on me everyday.

[BonnieSue in reply to GrampaGuy]

I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. I wish I could take it away and make your circumstances better. It just doesn't seem fair. Both you and your granddaughter are being robbed of a relationship you both could benefit from. At least that's how I see it. I'll be thinking and praying that things improve for you both.

[hannah821 in reply to GrampaGuy]

Cutting you off is cruel and heartless. I feel very sorry this is happening to you. Does she not realize the pain she is causing you. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. Try to get counselling for yourself to help you out.

[mball]

What's the story? Why is she not available to you? I struggle with anger and rage myself. I wish I just didn't give a shit.

[Hidden]

Welcome to the site! I understand where you are coming from. I have 2 grandchildren that i am not able to see. Hurts something awful, doesn't it? I'm here for you! I wish you peace of mind. I'm here for you if you need. XXX