Forever alone

[BrownEyesBlue]

I’m feeling rather alone again tonight. I always feel alone. I’ve gotten use to the feeling and I know it’s not necessarily true.

I find certain things bother me and I don’t know why. Reading my friends post on another friends picture of “my favourite”; or another friend who I was very close to and am no longer close too write a post of “you’re the best friend I could have ever asked for”. I feel slighted by that and I hate that I do. I feel judged for past mistakes that I know we’re wrong and all I can do now is apologize for it. I always feel left out; the outcast; like I’m always being judged and ridiculed or made a fool of.

I feel silly for even thinking or feeling it but I do. I don’t know why it matters to me; it does and it doesn’t. If that makes any sense.

I’m learning how to deal with these feelings as they happen but it sucks when I get sucked in and while they haven’t said anything about me (from what I know of lol) or to me, I get this twinge of “they don’t like me”.

My thoughts are jumbled a lot of the times and maybe this post makes no sense. I don’t have a lot of people to vent too so I thought maybe putting it here would help me get it out and off my mind.

Love to you all ❤️

[Trying1268]

It's ok to feel sad at times, we are all human. The trick is that you know not to let it spiral. You are on the right path, stay strong against those negative thoughts.

You got this!

Be well

[Dolorez]

Hi, if I may ask... what are the mistakes you think were wrong? I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.... I could blame my childhood, my family and everything surrounding me. I was young and naive.... i didn't have the right support group. i still don't... I'm just now realizing, i need to talk to people like me. who understand. wont judge me....

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to Dolorez]

I made a lot of mistake that’s I’ve taken responsibility for. Too many to list! Young and naive and thinking you k ow it all. I don’t want people to ask me all the time “are you on medications? Seeing a therapist or a doctor.... “ of course I am. But that doesn’t always help.

Back to the mistakes, I wasn’t always the best friend I could have been and I made decisions that I realize now were based on how I felt and at that time I refused medical help because “there was nothing wrong with me”. I try not to live with regrets. It have come to know that my decisions created this reality for myself. This is my responsibility and no one else’s. and I’m the only fan that can change.

I judge no one but yet I always feel so judged and it hurts. And add lonely to that and well, the darkness come and it’s not good.

Have a good day/night and stay safe !

Maybe I rambled again and that didn’t make sense lol

[Marshall64 in reply to BrownEyesBlue]

You sound like me. I keep looking back at choices in my life which I wish I could change. I need to be more in the now and move forward. I don't judge others but I definitely do myself.

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to Marshall64]

Yes! It’s hard sometimes. Thank you for “getting it” ❤️

[Shnookie]

Hi this is Shnookie. So happy 😀 that U reached out to us. This is a warm and supportive group. If I may ask, do U have a therapist or on any meds ? We all have things from our past that can haunt us from time to time. And now with COVID the feeling of loneliness can feel worse. I live by myself and try to find things that I enjoy like all different kinds of music on my

iPhone and watching programs on Animal Planet. I’m here 4 U hugs 🤗 M

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to Shnookie]

I have a therapist, a counsellor, psychologist and psychiatrist. And I am on meds. Meds don’t necessarily “fix” feelings; I need to do my part.

I’m just lonely. Thanks for your response.

[Shnookie in reply to BrownEyesBlue]

I understand what U mean about meds and feelings. Even tho I take meds and have a social worker and a shrink sometimes I feel lonely. The suggestion I made about listening to music U like is to divert your mood and let the music U like give U some happiness.

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to Shnookie]

I understand. I’m sorry if that came across as a saucy reply lol I didn’t mean to do that at all. Thank you for responding ❤️

[Shnookie in reply to BrownEyesBlue]

No problem. I understand. We all have our own issues including depression and anxiety. AND COVID hasn’t helped us at all. Sending U good karma. Wishing U a peaceful week ahead Hugs 🤗 Shnookie

[Hidden]

That’s the story of my family & so forth. I am disabled. Health issues. From what I’ve learned it’s good to be kind and it’s also good to find new friends it’s no Damn good to feel you don’t have a good friend or on outside in every way. Just an idea try to invest in new people others out there are looking for that as well. You can keep the old but you deserve to feel you’re an equal somewhere. It’s just circumstances sometimes and if you need time to get what you need at this point in your life then that’s a great way to do it. It’s very painful and it slows you down it hurts like hell so staying there isn’t healthy for me I found.