This is NOT fine. My first post. - Anxiety and Depre...

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This is NOT fine. My first post.

FrozenMustDefrost
FrozenMustDefrost
14 Replies

Familiar with that cartoon with the dog in the burning room, sipping his coffee and saying "This is fine."? I feel like that has become my LIFE!

I am completely frozen. It's not so much that I am in denial of the seriousness of my situation. I know that I'm very far down on the slippery slope right now. However, since I am currently keeping up appearances, I just avoid DEALING with my situation.

No drug or substance abuse at all, just depression and even that is not manifesting itself in "stereotypical" ways such as crying or anxiety attacks. I present as "normal" but I am just blah. Numb. Frozen.

This is my first post here, so I don't want to go into too much detail until I'm more familiar with the community. But I don't want to share the depths of my situation with my friends and family (out of pride and shame) and I recently left a sweet but rather ineffectual therapist.

Although it may not help me "defrost", I thought I would try online group support. So, this is me, giving it a try.

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Gettingthere73

Welcome, I’m new here too. Seems like my situation might be similar to yours. I’m not the can’t get out of bed and crying all the time type. I’m just not happy. I function and quite well just not happy. I hope you can find the help you’re looking for here! I’m rooting for you.

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FrozenMustDefrost

Thank you. I just read your first post and I see that you are brand new here as well.

I hope we can connect with others in situations similar to ours. I'm may not be doing as "well" as you might be (I have some real external factors that could become extremely problematic in short order), but I don't fit the "depressive trope" either.

I've shied away from depression forums in the past, because I assumed they would be too HEAVY and make me fell worse.

So wishing us both luck on this leg of our journeys.

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Gettingthere73

I agree, I’ve always stayed away from these things because I thought it would make things worse for me. But here we both are giving this a go! I hope after time you feel comfortable enough to share some of what’s going on so that other can reach out and help. At the very least offer understanding and support that others in your life may not be able to give as they probably can’t relate. Again I’m rooting for you!

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Icare4u

I've thought of becoming a counselor, but thought it would bother me too much. That I would take on everyone's problems and maybe they would say something that would trigger me to go back to not being mentally stable. So here I am seeing how it affects me.

I'm glad to see so many people asking for help and so many people supporting each other. In a world of greed and times where you see such heartless acts, this really makes me feel good about people. ❤

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FrozenMustDefrost

I said something similar to a friend after having a look at other posts today.

I was telling her that I have to be careful, because I've already seen a few post that were quite heavy and dark; however, under each of those dark rather hopeless sounding posts, was someone (or more than one person) offering comfort and empathy.

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EleanorRose

I’ve read your post and then read your thread of replies.

I predominately suffer from anxiety and OCD but in the past year or so have had some seriously ‘down’ times. I don’t like to say depressed because I don’t have a diagnosis (mostly because I avoid doctors!!) but the therapist I have been seeing largely agrees that it is depression.

I, like you, have had some ‘external’ factors, aside from the mental health issues themselves, which have further contributed to my low mood. It can be tough.

I’ve been on this forum for about a year and when I initially joined I was in a really, really bad place and I didn’t really read other people’s posts and just posted my own. I wasn’t really in any place to helpfully support others and I found it all a bit much.

Now, I quite often reply to other people and actually, I find in many ways it helps me, too. There are still certain types of posts I have to avoid because I find them ‘too much’ for me personally, but that’s ok.

As you’ve rightly pointed out, there are so many supportive people on her and so much hope in the replies. I’m always overwhelmed by people’s kindness. I hope you find this forum useful, however you choose to use it.

I always admire posts like yours; sometimes, in my worst times, I find it hard to post because I can’t succinctly put what I am struggling with. I always appreciate that people post how they’re feeling without giving an explanation. Makes me feel like it’s ‘ok’

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FrozenMustDefrost

Thank you for taking the time to reply. You and the others really helped to make my first excursion into this forum a positive one.

Knowing the type of posts that we need to avoid, and avoiding them is simply good self care. So let's take good care of ourselves.

I actually found myself commenting on a post today as well! Someone was unsure about sticking with their new therapist. Since I just went through ending a therapeutic relationship, I thought I had some helpful insights to share. There is something very therapeutic about sharing empathy.

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HopeWithSmile

Hi FrozenMustDefrost and welcome to this supporting community!

I think we all can relate to this picture some or other way. And this community can help not just sit i this room full of fire, but to find a way out. The most important thing is that we all know, that this is not "fine" and we are ready to fight.

We might feel alone in our "actual" life, but we are not alone here. We are all in this together, will win together.

xx

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ellinaki

Welcome

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EEMO

Don't blame you but mssg enough to put a pin on the balloon

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kvolm2016

I wanted to add my welcome and a thought about your statement of presenting as "normal" and "fine". One of the things I appreciate so much about this forum is that this is a safe place to step away from this practice of presenting as "fine" and living under the burden of others definitions of "normal". It seems that our culture has such a strong expectation that we keep the parts of our lives that are NOT normal/fine, to ourselves when in reality we all know that everyone has some aspect of their life that is NOT normal/fine. Do you have other family/friends who also offer this safe space for you?

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alone64

I feel the same way just numb and frozen

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kvolm2016

just thought I would check back to see how you are doing?

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FrozenMustDefrost

That's very sweet. I sort of stopped interacting with HealthUnlocked a few days after I posted.

I am fine though. Thank you so much for checking back in.

That was genuinely touching.

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