Feeling suicidal

[Courageoustiger]

I've been hospitalized twice this past year for overdosing. I did it again without anyone knowing. I feel like doing it now. I have children that I raised alone that have thrown me out of their lives and everything I do for them is considered evil. The rest of my family is estranged as well and no one begins to understand the depth of my depression, anxiety and loneliness. They'd be happy if I was gone. Not to be bothered by me at all.

[Stilltrying_]

Please don't try it again right now. Depression is a terrible illness and distorts things in your mind. Do you have a suicide hotline you can call right now?

The depression is distorting your mind and I am sure people care about you more than you know; it can just be very difficult for them to deal with people with depression and suicidal thoughts.

That is why it is best to call suicide hotlines when you feel like this as they are experienced and used to helping people who are at this desperation point.

I felt suicidal even last week and I thought I was losing my best friend because of my depression.

I did have to make a huge effort but in the end I forced myself not to talk to her about how bad I was feeling and kept it to the suicide hotlines.

I have managed to repair my relationship with her and it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Your family would feel worse if you ended your life, of that I am sure. Suicide leaves families bereaved and often causes them to feel that way themselves. It is not inevitable that you have to do this. You just need to find the right sort of help.

Please go to hospital and tell them how you are feeling or phone a hotline before you do anything stupid. Often it is stress that makes us feel that bad and once the stress is reduced a little we feel that we are able to carry on with our lives. That's why its important not to act on those feelings as those feelings can get better; you can feel better; maybe even in a day or so.

Let us know how you get on. xx

[kenster1]

hi sorry to hear of your struggles but please please seek support as soon as you can.family might not be close as they should at times but that doesn't mean they don't love us.reach out to anyone that you can and you also have us.please take care.

[Daveyboy77]

Hi.

I'm sorry you feel like this. Believe me giving up is the easiest thing to do I know how you feel I've been a bit of a outcast nearly all my life with my family it does hurt and I've felt just the way you are right now. But there's something that keeps me going and that's talking to people and friends about how I feel. I don't want to come across patronising but what I find when I'm in a bad place is go for long walks or even visits to the local coffee house or library do the trick.

I hope you feel you can go on remember taking your own life is easy but it's the pain you leave behind for others to pick up is the hardest part. I've lost friends before to suicide and its heartbreaking thinking I could have been there for then.

My thoughts are with you.

Take care.

[mellowMaryDi]

You are heard, you matter!!! The illness is distorting your thoughts, don't believe it!! As difficult as family relationships are, no one is gonna be happy that you're gone, I can assure you. Please take the time to breathe and talk to someone. You can call a hotline, you can call a friend, you can call an ambulance. Just call someone, let someone know how you're feeling.

The walks or the going out to very public places don't do it for me, but I find that playing my favorite guilty pleasure songs and singing ridiculously loud to them helps me come back down from whatever extremes I'm feeling. The other thing is laughing, which I know is difficult, but very possible. My latest surefire way to laugh is remembering movies that have made me laugh a lot, and watching the outtakes or bloopers (will ferrell has gotten me out of many dark moments!).

Thank you for sharing and reaching out, you are important, and very valuable and I'm sure that you are gonna come down from this. Remember to breathe and call.

I wish peace, calm and light for your heart and mind. Hugs!!

[pink318]

Hello- I’m very sorry to hear that you are struggling. Please don’t harm yourself. Try to talk to anyone you can trust. Join a support group that you can meet in person, it will help you not to feel alone and less lonely.

Please also know that we are here and we care for you. Keep sharing. I hope you will feel better soon. I pray for peace and things will go well with you. God bless.

[Givingup in reply to pink318]

Thank you to all.

[Sumff7]

Hello, this breaks my heart and I wish I had a power to fix everyone’s depression or anxiety. Are you on medication or on therapy? What have you tried so far? I know there’s hope and it must be so tough. Do you kids know about your depression? Please don’t try this again we are all here for you and you are not alone. Sending you love and prayers.

[Givingup in reply to Sumff7]

My kids know that I'm on multiple medications and that I'm severely depressed and severely anxious.

[Sumff7 in reply to Givingup]

Please tell me that te medication is helping and that you will please give therapy a shot. We are all really here for you and if family or other people give you a cold shoulder know that you are still not alone. I’ve felt like that even with a very supportive family and I realized that the work is on us and not depending on the others so much. It’s such a big effort that we have to make and it sounds so easy but it’s been a struggle for many of us but there is hope. I’ll be praying for you.