Bf broke up with me because he couldn't handle being with me anymore I feel devestated

[Bobsburgersgal]

I am suicidal I think about how hard it gets for me everyday I always want to die because I'm so lonely and I feel no one wants to be around me or likes me I hate my life I come from an abusive home life and my bf I got into a relationship with I fell in love with we had sex and we talked about marrying each other however I may be dealing with anxiety and depression and he couldn't handle it and finally left after I felt like I pushed him away now he's not here and I'm completely devestated I just want him back and it's killing me. I feel like I can't breathe. It hurts so bad I want him back. He told me I needed help. And then now he's gone and it just sucks so bad. He also took my virginity and it just is so horrible this situation he left after taking my virginity and having sex with me a couple times after that I've never felt so used in my entire life I feel he used me and took advantage of me. My abusive family life my dad is psycho religious controlling and it's too much for me to get out of the controlling relationship with my dad so I might as well just let him control my life. Because it's so hard to get out from his control. I might as well not even try and I'm so tired emotionally and physically and mentally that I don't want to do anything except just sleep a lot of the time. Because that feels like my only escape from my reality. I just feel my life has fallen apart and I don't even want to bother trying to clean up the mess. My bf gave up on me my life has fallen apart I'm so depressed and hurt and just want to give up so bad. I'm so alone I have experienced so much rejection and people leaving my life it hurts so bad. I hate being alone. I hate it so much. Yet nobody wants to be around me it feels like.

[bullyadvocate18]

Relationships can be difficult. Your life is precious and please don't give up. Ignore others that put you down. I will keep you in my prayers.

[Bobsburgersgal in reply to bullyadvocate18]

Thank you please do I need it so bad I just want to fall apart

[Hidden]

I’m recently getting over a five year relationship where the guy left me for someone else

We were very much in love and planning our future together

I know the pain the depression and the heartache you are feeling

It’s been since March and he is all I can think of

No one wants to hear my story anymore and I’ve lost friends over it and if people aren’t going through it they don’t understand

But I’m on some good meds now and while each day is still hard I don’t find myself laying on the floor crying anymore

Each day will get better I promise you

[Cara78]

I am so sorry you feel this way and I wish I could take your pain away. I have been in ruts similar to you and when I think back I have came to the conclusion that I was too hard on myself growing up because Iike you I had a difficult upbringing and found myself having children very young and in wrong relationship. I expected my partner to be everything he wasn't because I had issues myself. Please try and not worry about your virginity and try and love yourself more because it's only you that can do this, be proud of who you are and the things you have been through because you are everything you think your not, your mind is telling you the wrong things. I have had to practice telling myself good things instead of bad. When I think something negative like "I'm ugly" I replace it with "I love me" it takes practice but it helps because I have came to realise that I'm in charge of my happiness, no one else. I still have not got a boyfriend (I'm 40 now) but I don't mind because I'm getting to know myself. I appreciate younger years are tougher and if I knew then what I know now boy would I have made the most of it. Do you have any hobbies? You have all you need inside of you to turn yourself around, I'm reading positive self help books justnow and I'm writing down all the nice qualities I have, I may have a nose I don't want but I have lovely eyes! I am trying to accept me and the people and things around me, I cannot change them if I'm not happy but I can change my attitude to a good one and concentrate on myself because when I do the right things, good things happen to me. I am in control of me and nothing else. I wish you all the love and peace in the world xxx

[Hidden]

I hope you find peace soon.