New member

[Carattack]

I suffer from extreme anxiety (I have my whole life, but almost 4 years ago was put on Alprazolam on an as needed basis), and most recently have begun to withdraw from anything social. Closed down my Facebook where I kept in contact with all my friends for 10 years because I feel like I really have nothing to bring to the table when it comes to having a fulfilling and successful life. Not sure why I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough. Many life factors have contributed and are contributing to the way I feel. Would love to get some help or someone to talk to, but in no way can I afford treatment.

[doingmybest2017]

I got rid of my Facebook too. It’s a great feeling to not worry about that comparison and social status, but at the same time it feels like a loss because you have one less way to keep in touch with people.

[Carattack in reply to doingmybest2017]

Exactly! I thought I was the only one who felt like a weight was lifted when I deleted my account. But, FB was pretty much the extent of my social life so it's a little lonely. I was already feeling that way so I guess it is what it is.

[doingmybest2017 in reply to Carattack]

Can totally relate. I’m still on instagram and Snapchat so I kinda rely on those more now to see what people are up to. I think another good thing is not having FB forces you to find other sources to communicate - like this site. Have you ever heard of meetup.com?

[Carattack in reply to doingmybest2017]

No, I've never heard of that. It's not a dating website, is it? Because at 44 years old, those days are pretty much over for me.

[doingmybest2017 in reply to Carattack]

Not at all! It’s all different meetup groups - anything from knitting, to social anxiety support, kayaking, roller derby. I actually played roller derby for 6 years and that’s how I found it. Met some amazing people from roller derby. All from giving a chance and taking a risk by going to a group off that site. A great way to meet new people and get your mind off things.

[Carattack in reply to doingmybest2017]

That's awesome! I am going to check that out. Thanks so much for the suggestion

[doingmybest2017 in reply to Carattack]

Absolutely! Where do you live?? I’m in Boston MA so wondering if I would ever run into ya

[Carattack in reply to doingmybest2017]

Probably not. Haha. If you're ever in Colorado, let me know!

[Rpan]

I too am off FB, it was consuming way too much time, let alone constantly comparing myself to others. Maybe you can try putting your issues out on this forum, it’s anonymous, which makes it safe..there is allot of experience here. I really doubt that you don’t have anything to offer. Start adding your experiences to others in this forum. I’m so sure you have much experience when dealing with anxiety, please share those experiences here, we all need your input. I may need you to remind me how to handle my issues..

[Carattack in reply to Rpan]

Thank you for your kind response! There's way too much to explain. But, within the last 2 years things have taken a turn for the worse, as life does to all of us. In November 2016, my 12 year old son had a grand mal seizure out of nowhere, which almost killed him because of the way he fell and how long the seizure lasted. He was diagnosed with epilepsy 2 months later. He's medicated, but he still has breakthrough seizures. He never had them before November 2016. So as a caregiver to him, I am constantly on edge, but I always ensure I show a brave face for him.

My mother (my best friend) passed away a little over a year ago. She died alone because that weekend I kept calling her, but just thought she didn't want to talk on the phone. I ended up having to call the police to do a welfare check because I couldn't get down there (she lived about 50 miles from me, there was a blizzard out, and I was home with my son who was recovering from some seizure activity), and they found her dead. I don't think people would really guess I have deep-seated issues because I tend to be "the life of the party". I put that in quotations because I don't go out anymore. Ever.

I know I'm no different than anyone else on this forum so it would be nice to hear some stories from others as well.

[Rpan]

I’m a health care professional. I understand what it takes to care for sick people. Going through the trauma dealing with your son and then the unexpected loss of your mom, it’s all so traumatic. I can imagine your always waiting for something terrible to happen with your son. I don’t have the same experience, but I have been unable to save patients that I work with and I often feel some level guilt. I’m sorry about your mom, I’m sure that it could not have been prevented. I have been involved in many passings, it is a pleasant experience for the one passing. Though you weren’t there in person I’m sure you were there in spirit. I don’t think it’s a deep seeded issue, I think you to truly understand the process of dying and that it can’t be prevented and more importantly I’m sure you were with her in spirit as she left us. When we get stuck with these traumatic events we get stuck with anxiety/depression. With a good neurologist things will level with your son. Get out and start walking, get that heart rate up.