I'm new to this community, just looking to speak to people who can understand what I'm going through. At the end of last month I relocated from FL to NY with my boyfriend who was offered a great job here. I had a good job in FL but was happy and excited to live in a new state and start a new life with him. I should add that I was previously in therapy and taking medication for both depression and anxiety, the meds abruptly stopped working and I had to give up therapy due to changes with my insurance. For the last few years I was not taking any meds or going to therapy but I guess you could say I was managing. Now I am in a new state, unemployed, and stressing about bills.
My anxiety is getting so bad, every job post I look at I am thinking "I can't do that" or start thinking of the worst-case scenario and convince myself not to bother applying. I know that I am in my own way and I don't know what to do. I just feel like an idiot for having these issues and feel as though I am being judged for not having found a job yet (my boyfriend's family has been trying to help me but they don't know about my mental health struggles). I am afraid of them finding out, I am ashamed that I'm not employed yet and even more ashamed that it's my own fault because I won't try. I've been crying all morning and just needed to get this off my chest. What do I do to help with my anxiety if I don't have a job and can't afford therapy or medication?
I haven't had a job since 2015, I went back to college but ended up dropping and haven't done anything productive since. I know what you mean with the whole "i couldn't do that", because you think your anxiety/depression will interfere with it, I totally understand. But I think for people like us we need to take a risk even if our options don't seem appealing or maybe scary, if we don't then we might never bother with the idea alone again. Don't be ashamed of your mental health, it's as important as your physical health and it's a part of you, and you're important. If they really care about you they'll understand and support you no matter what. 
The people here are really nice and very supportive! You're not alone in this fight! You've got us all in your corner! 
Depression and anxiety issues
A Little Bit About Me - I'm New Here
Talking too much about anxiety and other issues?
New here: And about at my wits end!
I'm sorry your hurting...and it's frustrating....but you may want to think about being open with the BF parents....sometimes when we are up front with our stuff, if it's appropriate and your safe doing this, ...people will then fill in the blanks so to speak....they may even be able to help you. There is nothing to be ashamed about the cards you were dealt at birth. This is not a disease you catch, it's not your fault...it's just the way your brain is wired. You have a chemical deficiency...no different that anything else...if you felt better on meds....make that a goal....figure out how to get back on meds....that's half the battle when looking for a job is that your feeling emotionally better.
Thank you for the kind words and advice. The thought of telling them terrifies me, they are very nice and generous people but I fear they wouldn't "get it", if that makes sense.
yeah...I totally understand that, that's why many of us don't openly share our stuff. Those here that have similar issues can relate...those that don't...it's like explaining what ice cream tastes like to a Martian unless they have tasted it.
lol that is a spot on analogy!