I'm sorry your hurting...and it's frustrating....but you may want to think about being open with the BF parents....sometimes when we are up front with our stuff, if it's appropriate and your safe doing this, ...people will then fill in the blanks so to speak....they may even be able to help you. There is nothing to be ashamed about the cards you were dealt at birth. This is not a disease you catch, it's not your fault...it's just the way your brain is wired. You have a chemical deficiency...no different that anything else...if you felt better on meds....make that a goal....figure out how to get back on meds....that's half the battle when looking for a job is that your feeling emotionally better.

Hello, Vivi! I'm am sorry that you are feeling this way. I completely understand what you are going through. I am in the same situation. I am in the process of looking at employment and I get very anxious that I won't be able to do it. Even though I have lots of experience .

My low self esteem and anxiety make it difficult to get motivated. But I'm trying my best. I've been trying natural remedies because the meds I was prescribed helped with panic attacks but made feel hollow without emotions.

I am looking at alternative ways to treat myself. Signing up for this app was very helpful. I don't have any friends or family where I live. There are many others with similar experiences and they are supportive and have good advice.

I have done therapy before but I did not find it helpful. It was too slow and the advice was not helpful. I recommend CBT -cognitive Behavioral Therapy. There are workbooks you can find on Amazon.

I suggest a creating a worry journal. I would draw a line in the middle and write the problem and worries on the left and possible solutions on the right.

Also, download the info graphic on unhelpful thinking styles. I tend to do some of these behaviors

. You will try to counteract negative thoughts. challenge the negative thoughts.

-Self care is important. This is a transition in your life. Think back when you had to transition to high school. How scary was it. But you made it through.

I wish you the best. Take time to work through your anxiety and issues. When you do this, you will be able to accomplish a lot. Feel free to share your thoughts and concerns.

Hugs and Healing

😻 Ayla-Kat

Sounds like what you are experiencing is pretty regular without a diagnosis! I am not a counselor just a regular Jane you might say- but you moved to a new state, different culture and everything else is new- what kind of work have you done? Also, this is interesting- lately I have heard the term emotional distress rather than mental illness. You need to do whatever you think will help you. Maybe you could try joining some groups like NAMI to help with isolation and ideas as well . Welcome!

Also, I take it that your bf' 's family is from NY? So..... you have some support there- that's really good.

I've always done administrative and clerical work. I know I've got lots of experience but looking at the job posts is intimidating, if it's not the job description I worry about the culture (what if it's different here and they expect more than FL and other silly thoughts) or I worry about the commute and getting lost. I know there are reasonable solutions and I lose nothing with trying but I get so worked up and then I get upset at myself for NOT trying. As time ticks and I think about the bills I have to pay I freak out even more and it becomes kind of a cycle. I definitely have support here from my boyfriend and his family but also don't want them to be like "Why doesn't she have a job yet?" and I know I'm just creating scenarios in my head that have yet to happen and will likely never happen but it is hard for me to control.

I've never heard of NAMI but I will definitely check it out. Thank you for the advice.

Sorry to hear how stressed you're feeling I haven't had a job since 2015, I went back to college but ended up dropping and haven't done anything productive since. I know what you mean with the whole "i couldn't do that", because you think your anxiety/depression will interfere with it, I totally understand. But I think for people like us we need to take a risk even if our options don't seem appealing or maybe scary, if we don't then we might never bother with the idea alone again. Don't be ashamed of your mental health, it's as important as your physical health and it's a part of you, and you're important. If they really care about you they'll understand and support you no matter what.

Hope you feel better soon.

Sending you best wishes and strength ❤️

Thank you so much, I'm sorry to hear you haven't had a job. And yes, the anxiety and depression fuel these negative thoughts and it becomes very believable. Thank you so much for the encouragement, sending you well wishes and strength too.

I feel in exactly the same boat you are in except I haven't moved, that would add to the anxiety big timeb for me. Glad your bf parents are nice people. Are there any mental health places that go on a sliding scale, since you don't have income? If so I would definitely try to find meds, when they work they are a lifeline and can change your world. I feel the same things when I look through the employment ads, and it causes more anxiety just imagining starting a new job, new people, new learning, and what if I have anxiety or panic attack, what will they think of me? There needs to be a place/help for people like us to help find work. If I knew someone who worked at a place I could get a job I feel like that would help immensely. I would have an ally there and also know ahead of time what the work environment was like. Because a micromanaging boss can be a nightmare, and you never know what your getting into.

Howdy Vivi! I'm Brian and welcome to our little community! The people here are really nice and very supportive! You're not alone in this fight! You've got us all in your corner!

I know exactly how you feel. I am also now looking for a job. And I look at ads and also think often: this is too much ...I can not do that.

I feel angry with myself because of this fear and sometimes I don’t apply. But I think we should try to overcome anxiety in those situations and try...it would get us some confidence. Also remember that ads include too much on purpose...it is exaggeration. I was told: apply, go for interview, don’t avoid it. It is practice and it gives you samples what you will be asked next time. You are in a new city ... and no meds, no therapist. All this is very stressful, you are brave ... and will be ok. Don’t rush also, don’t criticize yourself even if you did not apply, you will do it next time, be gentle with yourself.

Keep us posted and I am here to talk any time. It is easier if you are not alone in a boat...and we are in the same boat. Hugs to you