I'm new to this community, just looking to speak to people who can understand what I'm going through. At the end of last month I relocated from FL to NY with my boyfriend who was offered a great job here. I had a good job in FL but was happy and excited to live in a new state and start a new life with him. I should add that I was previously in therapy and taking medication for both depression and anxiety, the meds abruptly stopped working and I had to give up therapy due to changes with my insurance. For the last few years I was not taking any meds or going to therapy but I guess you could say I was managing. Now I am in a new state, unemployed, and stressing about bills.
My anxiety is getting so bad, every job post I look at I am thinking "I can't do that" or start thinking of the worst-case scenario and convince myself not to bother applying. I know that I am in my own way and I don't know what to do. I just feel like an idiot for having these issues and feel as though I am being judged for not having found a job yet (my boyfriend's family has been trying to help me but they don't know about my mental health struggles). I am afraid of them finding out, I am ashamed that I'm not employed yet and even more ashamed that it's my own fault because I won't try. I've been crying all morning and just needed to get this off my chest. What do I do to help with my anxiety if I don't have a job and can't afford therapy or medication?