New Here - Panic/Anxiety/Depression Misery

[goldengirl80401]

68 year old female. Retired for 16 months. Have suffered with Panic/Anxiety since my 20's, but was able to manage with meds. Now it's back with a vengeance and I am depressed as well. I know I am not alone, but I am so scared. I worry about EVERYTHING. Just want someone to talk to. Can't afford professional help. I DON'T WANT TO BE THIS WAY!

[Hidden]

Hello. Take a real good scream if you need to before reading my reply. I'll wait.........waiting......waiting.....OK.

Hello again, just thought from your post you needed to scream.

Are you in the US of GB? The medical systems are so different, that's the reason I ask.

Why can't you afford medical care? Are you in the US and not eligible for Medicare yet?

What did you do to afford care for the anxiety before you retired?

[goldengirl80401 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for responding, PTSDfor years. it means a lot to me. Waiting for my husband to go to the store before I scream!! I am in the US...what about you? I have Medicare and could see my primary care physician (of 20+ years), but don't know if Medicare covers mental health issues....plus, I'm afraid that will means taking meds...which also scares me, altho I have taken Diazepam (Valium) for years. Before I retired I didn't have these symptoms so it wasn't a problem really. My Primary Care Doctor knows me so well and I'd love to see him. I'm just to anxious to make the 16 mile drive to his office. I feel like such a total failure. There is so much I'd like to do, but have no motivation and too much fear. Thanks for listening. Tell me a little about you. Thanks!

[Hidden in reply to goldengirl80401]

Whoah.....hold those horses, ma'm. Your post stated you had anxiety/panic for years....since your 20s and have been on medication for years.

I'm in the US, and Medicare does cover some mental health issues, depending on your plan.

If your family doctor was writing the RX before you retired, ask him if he accepts Medicare and then call your pharmacies to see if any of them accepts your medicare d (the prescription plan that covers medication) and what your co-pay is. Varies from plan to plan, and from pharmacy to pharmacy.

If the depression is the only thing new, well sometimes that goes hand in and with anxiety. Again, I'd call your GP and make an appointment particularly if you haven't had your free wellness check up benefits under Medicare yet this year....and he can refer you to a clinic that does the mamograms, etc. that you should also have as part of the once a year free checkup.

Talk to you GP about your anxiety, depression, everything, and see if he can help you find a therapist or doctor that accepts Medicare and you pay the co-pay.....depends on which plan you have.

And BELIEVE ME, retirement can bore the he** out of you sometimes and increase your anxiety and depression. Been there, doing that.

[goldengirl80401 in reply to Hidden]

Yes, my panic attacks began in my 20's, but they were off and on manageable. No meds. Then in mid to late 30's they came back strong. I did seek psychiatric help at that time. Back then it was $100. an hour, and I had a wonderful doctor. That's when I started the diazepam, after much arguing with him about it...but it worked and I was thrilled. I haven't seen him now in over 20 years. My Primary Care Physician does accept Medicare and my Supplemental plan, so my Rx's are covered (I only take 2 Rx's and it is less than $10. a month) I haven't had my Wellness Checkup yet this year, but I DO go EVERY year for everything....blood work, mammogram, etc. I did so even when I was working since I had good medical insurance. Yes, I KNOW I should make an appt. to see him, I'm just scared. I hate going to the doctor. My first year of retirement was ok, but the past few months have been horrible. I need to get so much out of my head that I have no control over. we are on a waiting list for a lovely, income restricted senior community in Texas (where most of my family is) but I worry about a move back to Texas after being in Colorado for 40+ years..starting over...but I also miss having any family here. We have been renters for the past 14 years and our landlord is wonderful, but I worry that if they raise the rent we won't be able to stay here...just sooo many things that I won't bore you with. I tell myself every morning "One Day At A Time"....it doesn't always work. My husband TRIES to understand, but I know he doesn't. Retirement is NOT what I'd expected and often wish I hadn't done it. Well, I could go on forever, but you have already been so kind to listen. I would be interested in knowing something about you and your situation. Please stay in touch with me. I hope you are having a good day.

[Hidden in reply to goldengirl80401]

You really don't gain anything by learning about my "retirement" which came 17 years early due to an unfortunate but disabling traffic accident. Hearing about my challenges and fears and difficulties and finally learning it's day by day at this time of life is how I managed.

But it's not going to be how you manage.

Have you the opportunity to visit your family for any length of time to be fairly certain you want to move? What about finding a less expensive place to live where you are, or negotiating with your landlord about the rent?

And get in to see your doctor...you need someone to talk with you about all the worries you have. AARP has a fountain of information, and may be of some help if you want to go back to work even part time. You're going to be ok, we just weren't taught how to plan for all the emotional and financial and social changes that happen at retirement. Duhhhh, and it's the pits trying to figure it out by ourselves.

[Eeclwa in reply to goldengirl80401]

Get a Medicare advantage plan. Did you just go on Medicare? If you did this year, go to blue cross, Aetna, Humana, Cigna, any of the big insurance companies and ask them about the advantage plans. It shouldn't cost any more than your basic Medicare B, but you get so much more in benefits. I use blue cross. It's much cheaper than straight Medicare. If you've been on it longer, you'll have to wait until October to get on one. They will have seminars starting in October to get you signed up. Check it out. I don't know why anyone would use straight Medicare...except that they don't know about advantage plans.

[goldengirl80401]

Thank you, lilcclil. Am so happy to have found this site and to already have 2 wonderful responses. Yes, PTSDforyears has wonderful things to say...and so do you. You are so right...My working life was so structured (a little OCD going on with me to) and stressful that I didn't have time to dwell on my issues. Now that I'm retired, that's all I have...time. Mornings are the worst for me, and even tho I've been retired over a year now, I still can't sleep past 5am....no matter what time I go to bed. I am trying to structure my days and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. It's hard sometimes. Thank you for responding. I have been reading posts all day and would love to respond to everyone...I'm just not sure what to say while I'm still in this funk. Please stay in touch and I hope you have a beautiful evening.

[Percyblue in reply to goldengirl80401]

The magazine, Psychology Today has a website that lists therapists for all illnesses. Google "therapists in your town and state" Narrow it down to the ones that take Medicare for payment and who specialize in Anxiety and Depression. And try some vigorous walking in the morning. It will work wonders! Good Luck!

P

[goldengirl80401 in reply to Percyblue]

Thank you, Percyblue. Will check it out. I LOVE to walk and after I retired I took my Australia Shepard for a walk every morning. However, due to s shin splint and my anxiety, we only make it out now every few days for a brief walk. I miss it and I know he does, too. Just one more reason I feel like such a failure...but I will keep trying. Thank you, again.

[Jeannii in reply to goldengirl80401]

I think many people of a certain age when they have out grown what I term as "usefulness", feel this way & question how, why, what to do next & what's going to happen now? Much of what we do as workers, wives & mothers fall into a slot/routine & when it's gone................Do men feel this way ? I fit into this slot too & I have a crumbling spine so am in pain 24/7 but such is life I say to myself.................Would I rather swab places withe women in N. Korea or Syria or Sudan .........Come on ladies , we DO HAVE so much , I was recently, on a hosp visit , for a MRI appt. I had to go by ambulance as my feet sometimes goes numb . On my return journey , I met this lady in her mid 30's to 40's & we started to talk . Long story but I ended up giving her my half eaten sandwich & my half drunk bottle of water . I had to help her eat it , I had to hold it to her mouth . She hadn't eaten or drunk since 0600 that morning, it was 23.45 when I offered her food & drink !! I asked her why she didn't come with her carer ........her carer is her 85 year old father whom she lives with !!Now if that is not humbling , I don't know what is!! I have made a promise to myself that I will never complain again ............I wouldn't swab places with her in a month of Sundays!!

[ShannonLovesDogs18]

I'm so sorry. U are not alone, I've struggled for more years than not. Even with another medication (lexapro, Latina) now added Rameron I still get that way. I think the most important thing is knowing you are not alone. Do you have a diagnosis? Or is it depression plus anxiety? Any mental illness?

[Hidden]

We are here for you just message me if you wanna chat

[goldengirl80401]

Can anyone tell me why, when I try to reply to a post, it doesn't seem to go through. This web site has been so helpful to me even tho I am very new to it. Thank you.

[reinagrace]

WOW i am in TX in the same situation, having found some assisted living facilities that i want to get into one day, when I'm old enough- i'm on disability for my anxiety/depression/panic but they won't take me til my 60s meanwhile i'm having an extremely difficult time functioning living alone. and all day would you believe i have been making calls to COLORADO- so i'm in reverse of your situation- and already i can see the care is better there . i found a place that will take me when i'm in my 50's (i'm in my 40s now) and they seem to make a lot more compassion to accept someone living there, with mental issues such as mine. as opposed to TX i advise you against this move as TX IS BOTTOM OF list of 50 states in mental health care . i have replied to several people here saying i want to talk to someone, any one please exchange phone # with me if you want. so far everyone is content just writing but please if you mean it let's talk!! all week actually ive been making calls to COLorado this is amazing. i was hospitalized last year for my debilitating anxiety panic attacks and since then have been obsessed with what will happen to me when i get older. see i didn't grow up with real sense of family, abandoned by parents, then as adult i never was blessed with a husband, since 18 on my own thousands of miles away from any relatives for years, and i ended up hospitalized last year bc all i could see in my future was i'd be a homeless demented bag lady one day. finding assisted living places helped but it's gonna be a hell of a long 20 years til i can finally not live alone anymore. Colorado for many reasons has come to mind lately in conversation etc, and if i move there i at least already know a place, talked to someone very nice there today, that would take me in my 50's and yes based solely on mental health issues. whereas TX does NOT Really have that. i will private msg you my phone # and i'd love to offer you comfort if i can in your panic/anxiety, as well as have a friend to talk to with my stuff

[ckadam]

Hey golden girl I know what that's like, therapy can be expensive. Some churches offer spiritual counselors who either don't charge or charge very little. They are seminary trained professionals who provide counseling from a spiritual basis. If you are willing to modify your diet, there are certain foods which will help you move from a depressed stated. It will at least get you moving! It worked for me.

[Colorful]

Hi goldengirl, I'm trying to deal with these same issues and I can't afford a professional sounding board either, but I think it helps if we talk these things out. I see this is an old post, but I'm new here and just reading what's going on with others.

[Rafiki11]

Bobbie, this post is 4 years old. I’m not sure goldengirl80401 still checks in. 😘

[Agora1 in reply to Rafiki11]

Hi Rafiki, was this our Bobbi (lessthanone) who you were responding to?It looks like she might have deleted her message... xx

[Rafiki11 in reply to Agora1]

Yes. ❤️