I feel I have let everyone down 😢

[CazO46]

Today I feel I have failed everyone that I love. I have a physical illness which has led to anxiety. It doesn't look like I will be able to return to work and I'm devastated. I love my job, the people I work with are also my friends and social support. I won't be able to pay my mortgage and have 2 children to care for. I feel I have let my kids and husband down even though I didn't have a choice to become sick. I just want to well again but can't make it happen, I want to be a good mum and wife. Dr's have done all they can at the moment. Thanks for reading my post much appreciated

[gogogirl]

Sorry about that, and may you have support through the R an R of your illness.

[CazO46 in reply to gogogirl]

Thank you, just having a difficult day today 🙁

[fauxartist]

You cannot help what happens to you heath wise, that's not your fault. You did the best you could, and now you are at a turning point, nobody wants to be in. That's no fault of yours either, it's just the raw deal we are dealt sometimes, and it's just not fair, I don't care what anybody says....I could live without those. I know I mentioned last time on one of your posts about getting a new plan, and dealing with what you can do. How are you doing with getting your ducks in a row Caz046. You haven't let your family down, you said I think your husband is cooking, and picking up some of the slack. That's okay to even let the kids help out the best they can too...You guys sound like a good team. You are gonna survive this....you may be down now....but all you can do is go up from here....just turn the light on to see your way my friend....and the rest will follow.

[CazO46 in reply to fauxartist]

Thanks for the reply fauxartist, I haven't even been able to get dressed today so not great. I thought my health was improving and even started to hope about going back to work... which would save my house! But feels like a few steps back today. Kids helping out as best as they can but worried about overburdening my husband. My life as changed so much and it hurts but I am grateful for your kind words and support X

[fauxartist in reply to CazO46]

you know honey...your family are there for you...it's okay to let them be there for you now....your still mom, mom hasn't gone anywhere, things are just different and there's going to be an adjustment period for everyone. It's really hard and I am so sorry your feeling worse....I remember only a matter of months ago I couldn't move out of bed I was so sick...but my partner just picked up the slack. Like you I felt bad but knew this too shall pass....I'm never going to be completely healthy and sprite like I used to be...so I have to live life differently now, I've learned my limitations, I may not like it, but that's life now...you will find your way too Caz...your a survivor.

[CazO46 in reply to fauxartist]

Your reply made me cry as I realise I'm not alone so thank you. It's such hard knock to take isn't it ? I look back at pictures of me last year and long for that time again. I have to keep going for my beautiful family. Thanks again xx

[Lisau2]

This is a big life adjustment for, and those always cause anxiety for everyone. Perhaps a good counselor/therapist can help you with this transition, and dealing with your feelings.

Lean on your good friends and family too, and hopefully you can keep in contact with the people from work you have grown close to.

Hugs to you, glad you are here 🤗

[CazO46 in reply to Lisau2]

Thank you, going to see therapist tomorrow so will be able to cry without feeling guilty! Hopefully I'll feel stronger tomorrow and get myself together to accept what I can't change and move forward , thanks again X

[b1b1b1]

I don't quite understand what is causing you to be sick, other than that it is some sort of migraine. Are you sure that there is no treatment that can help? Have you seen the best specialists? Perhaps it might be worth it to get a second opinion. I am sorry that you are in this situation, however, unless you have explored every possible option for treatment, I would not give up on recovery.

[CazO46 in reply to b1b1b1]

Thank you. Yes I have now seen 5 Consultants and 4 months worth of tests but they can't say exactly what's going on. Dr's think I might have had a virus which has caused nerve damage to my inner ear and so I have constant dizziness and feel sick.. Like being on a boat all the time . Combined with IBS it's been a tough time 😔

[EmLee96]

this is a common feeling, don't feel like you are alone. my older sister has several conditions that keep her from working and she feels utterly useless. she found a job that she could do from home so she could lay on her heating pad or ice packs and work her own hours. is there anyway you could find something like this? that way you could make some money, but do it from home.

please don't feel worthless or like you are letting them down. they know you would not choose to have this illness. be easy on yourself. have you talked to your doctor about taking some antidepressants or something?

[CazO46 in reply to EmLee96]

Thanks for your support its much appreciated. My Dr has prescribed a low dose antidepressant but I think it takes a few weeks to start working but I'll hang in there. I'm a social worker so working from home sadly isn't an option 😥

[covidZ]

I can't speak for all , but you have my love .