Wow looking back at the last 8 months in my profile and...it’s really strange to see myself go up and down. But as a whole things have slowly slowly become somewhat less difficult.
Probably because of all the tons of medication I’m taking but I’ve gone from constantly disassociating, being in denial, not understanding timeframes... to knowing the warning signs of particularly difficult moments. It’s been a lot.
Does anyone else just feel TIRED and having to do so much extra just to function ??
oh dear i am so happy for you- learning the early signs, able to see yourself improve... it brings tears to my eyes. i know that is not what you are looking for but it is always a good sign to see others able to gauge their state of mental health.
but to answer your question...
YES. it sucks that i do not know what kind of state i am going to be in a month from now so i hate planning stuff that far in advance. i hate that i need to find and rely on others during my panic attacks to help calm myself. i hate that i put my husband through so much when i lash out and that i have to do damage control when i feel better. i hate that i can't do simple tasks like refill my water bottle or play with my dogs when i am depressed and i feel like i have to do so much more when i am feeling good to make up for it. i hate that i spend all the time sleeping when i can be doing so much else. i hate that i have to prepare everyone around me when i begin to go into one of my depressive phases because i literally can't do anything. i hate having to take a pill every night just so that i don't want to hurt myself. i hate having to go to a weekly counseling session to just keep myself pulled together.
i think the thing i hate most is the damage control after the phase is over with... the apologies... my own guilt... ugh
It is a good sign, I need to make sure I’m recognizing that too!
Yes, it feels like every moment I’m not doing something when I feel good I’m wasting time! I sometimes force myself to clean the dishes so I don’t have an overwhelming amount of guilt, I know how that is! It’s nice to know we’re not alone.
Short answer to your post title: YEP! and some days it's YEP! BIG TIME!!!!!
Tired of pretending 
Tired. 
So Tired 
Tired of Suffering
So tired
