Tired of anxiety : Hi I’m new here. My... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Tired of anxiety

Calmonoutside
Calmonoutside
36 Replies

Hi I’m new here. My anxiety is always health related. If I have a headache I’ll swear it’s a brain tumor, pain in arm, heart attack. I can’t seem to turn off my dreadful thoughts. Lately, heart palpitations so I take my blood pressure, ( on several meds) and it’s very high, but do deep breathing and can bring it to normal range. Now I have fear of taking blood pressure. I also have fear of going to doctor or hospital because I’m afraid they’ll find something wrong.

On the outside I am perfectly calm, but inside fighting a battle. People are always shocked when I confess my anxiety. I currently take sertraline for panic, and lorazepam (very sparingly, as my doc will only prescribe 30 pills per six month period).

I guess the reason I’m here is to just connect with people who have similar experiences.

36 Replies
oldestnewest
Melhall

Hi and welcome to the group!

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Calmonoutside

Thanks

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Hopeful_wish

Hello, I'm new as of today as well. Welcome:)

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Calmonoutside

Hi hopeful, love your screenname

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Hopeful_wish

Well hey there....honestly I almost had a username that said "screaming on the inside...or "silentlyscreaming". I see you found the best one.. seriously....I was thinking to darn hard lmao. So, I settled on positive and forward thinking. Thanks btw!!!

Blessings🌷

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Ceelos81

Hi

I also deal with the same issue. I suffer from anxiety and pvcs (heart palps)

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Calmonoutside

Hi Ceelos81, the pvcs are new to me, but have been dealing with anxiety for a long time. How do you calm yourself?

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Ceelos81

Honestly I don’t. I wish I knew how to. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and pvcs for over 10 years and I’m still searching. Before they were so far apart that I I would stop thinking about them but now I have them every day and so random that I spend my whole day waiting for the next episode to happen. I’m on here as well looking for people to talk too.

How would you describe your palp symptoms? Are you also in the states?

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Calmonoutside

Just feel like my heart is beating out my chest, Then get pain in chest. If I stay busy, symptoms don’t appear as often. I have found that singing a little ditty, distracts my mind from worry. Lately it’s been “ baby shark” which totally drives my coworkers crazy, because they end up singing too.

I think the worst part is when I am feeling good, and I think huh no anxiety today, and my mind seems to summon panic time.

Yes I am in Maryland.

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Ceelos81

Sounds like you are just paying attention to your heartbeat. I don’t think you are feeling a irregular heartbeat (pvc) for what your feeling I think it’s just best to get out and get some fresh air like a good walk, just keep distracted. I think that’s how I started and it led me to these stupid pvcs

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troublesleeping

What is pvc?

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Ceelos81

Premature ventricular contraction

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Babalou722

I get the calm on outside but I also have such anxiety that it is visible as well

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Calmonoutside

I have been a master of hiding my feelings for a very long time. I think it Probably adds to my anxiety

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MARYRD27

I can relate. Sometimes I wake up during the night thinking my throat is closing and go into a panic thinking I’m going to asphyxiate. Because it’s happened a number of times and I haven’t died, I know it’s just my acute sensitivity. Now I keep a bottle of water next to my bed, take a few sips and tell myself it’s just the dry air. Then I calm down and go back to sleep, although I sometimes need a Xanax to help me calm down. I’ve imagined brain tumors and heart attacks more times than I can begin to count and nothing has happened other than panic. But now I’m 69 yrs old and those things could really happen. But because my brain has tricked me so often, I’m able to tell myself it’s probably another false alarm. If I take a Xanax and the symptoms abate, then I know it’s anxiety. Quite frankly, I’m so tired of the anxiety that I’m sometimes fatalistic about it. My new fear is dementia. Anytime I forget a word, I panic thinking it’s a sign of Alzheimer’s. Of course, stress is often cited as a contributing factor to dementia. So I try to keep myself calm and get a lot of exercise. That helps a lot and identifying the symptoms of panic as anxiety is extremely helpful. Foe example, Labeling that feeling of choking as anxiety and panic when it’s merely a dry throat has been very helpful. And distraction is very helpful. If something totally distracts me in the midst of high anxiety, I lose the anxiety. A therapist one told me to hold ice when feeling panicky as it will be so painful and distracting, I will forget the anxiety. And it works. Maybe try some of these tactics and get yourself a copy of Bourne’s Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. It’s a really great book that has helped me tremendously.

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Spaz119
Spaz119
in reply to MARYRD27

Hey, I tried that pain thing to distract me. When my father was in the hospital and my anxiety was off the charts , I used to dig a pen into my thigh to help me cope. I would have dozens of little bruises on me.

My boyfriend thought I was nuts but it worked.

Wow. Pretty sad we have to do stuff like that to cope 😞

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MARYRD27
MARYRD27
in reply to Spaz119

Ice doesn't really hurt you or leave bruises, but it does distract you. I would never suggest anything that would injure you. Sadly, I've heard stories of people who are starving burning their stomachs, as the pain from the burns distracts them from the hunger pains. Strangely enough, I have found that flossing my teeth often works. I think it's a combination of distraction and you are forced to relax your jaw.

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Spaz119
Spaz119
in reply to MARYRD27

I worked in lab and they sent us to see stuff at another facility so I had a lab coat on. The pen was in my pocket so ...no ice.

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Calmonoutside

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I will definitely try these tactics and look for the book.

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MARYRD27

Finding the right combination of meds and talk therapy are probably your best bet. Xanax (and similar drugs) are good for panic, but you can become reliant on them if you take them every day. Doctors have become more reluctant to prescribe these drugs, so use them judiciously. The Bourne book was a real life-saver for me. Plus, I don't think it's so much the fear of death we have, but the fear of a painful or frightening death. I just keep reminding myself that all those headaches I've had since childhood haven't killed me (they weren't aneurysms or brain tumors), all those heart palpitations weren't heart attacks, the dry throat is just dry air, etc, etc. And once you find a job or activity or hobby that you really enjoy and become engrossed in, you will lose a lot of your anxiety. Don't sit around obsessing over the anxiety - make yourself do something. Pull out the vacuum and start vacuuming, polish your shoes - just do something that requires some attention to distract you. If the symptoms lessen, then you know it is anxiety and not something that will kill you.

And think about what is going on in your life that isn't working for you. Change your life. If your friends are a downer, find some better friends. Whatever is making you unhappy (outside of the panic) see if you can change it. Make a plan and set yourself some reasonable goals. All of these things have helped me and I think they will help you.

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weegmack

Welcome! You’ve just described me 😬. I am exactly the same. I had a routine cervical smear test done a month ago and I am in a state about the results, even though I have no signs or symptoms. I literally go from one panic about serious illness to another. It’s so exhausting. I’m terrified of food poisoning, so I obsess over food hygiene. I’m constantly freaking out about stomach bugs too. It takes over your life and drains you of all energy and lust for life, doesn’t it? Xx

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Spaz119
Spaz119
in reply to weegmack

OMG I am so scared of getting food poisoning too! I’m a medical technologist and work with some nasty stuff and unfortunately know too much to be blissfully unaware.

My big fear is chicken and salmonella or shigella. I’m so leary about eating chicken out. But I’m not really that crazy about red meat 🥩

Then of course there’s the veggies 🌶 and their problems so I might stick with a water and dust bunny 🐰 diet. Or lint. Lint is safe.

Thank god for sweets.

Just another thing on the anxiety list 🤪

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Spaz119

Yes!!!! I’m terrified of food poisoning, too!

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weegmack
weegmack
in reply to Spaz119

I’m glad I’m not alone! I’m suspicious of everything I eat. The worst thing I ever did was sign up for alert emails from the Food Standards Authority (UK organisation for food safety). Made me far too aware of the horrible things that can affect our food. That’s made it so much worse. I unsubscribed from those!

My mother actually prefers to eat yogurt out of date and she is so relaxed about food. She freaks me out!

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Spaz119
Spaz119
in reply to weegmack

Tell her if it’s green and fuzzy 😬 throw it away!

I know they have to put expiration dates on things and it’s probably good beyond that but....but...it’s expired!😵

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weegmack
weegmack
in reply to Spaz119

I know 🤢🤢. She’s terrible for that. My in-laws do things like that too. You can imagine how much I love eating at their houses 😂. I think it’s their generation to be honest. But....ewwww

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Spaz119
Spaz119
in reply to weegmack

Must be. I’m chunky and I won’t even do that😬

FYI I’ve never had gummy bears 🐻 go bad 😀

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jdjonaj

I am the same way. I have this fear of dying everytime I get bad pains throughout my body. I get very bad anxiety attacks. I take sertraline and lorazapam every day. My doctor gives me 1mg 30 pills for a month of lorazapam. It helps alot.

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worrywart44

Hi

I feel like I have the exact same issues. It took me a long time to finally find the right combination of medications to help. I have the very same health related fears. And now that I have children I worry about the same for them. At one point I was so anxious I became agoraphobic and could not leave my house. I had to call into work. As I mentioned earlier it took a long time to get the right combo. I actually had the doctor prescribe medication and I would let them sit on my shelf for months.....I was afraid to take it because I was worried about the side effects. Ugh! Anyway, I am now on lexapro, Wellbutrin and buspar. For sleep I take Xanax and now silenor so I can get some sleep. All meds work differently. It sounds like you may need to try a different combination of meds. Keep trying until you find what works for you. If you haven’t already, you may need to seek the advice of a psychiatrist who specializes in mental health issues

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Keepmoving71

You are describing what I've experienced off and on for over 20 years I don't mean to be rude but if your doctor is only wanting to prescribe you 30 pills in a 6 month. You should find another doctor,,, I've been taking lorazepam at 6 mg a day for over 2 years so trust me,

it's one of the only things that has helped for high anxiety and I recently got back on Trazodone 50 mg lowest dose at bedtime.... trazodone is an antidepressant I never knew,,, they gave it to me for sleep when I was pregnant turns out not only does it help me sleep it's helps with my depression and anxiety ... im in a really rough time I just lost my boyfriend who is 38 years old on May 21st and I'm getting through it it's amazing thank God🤗🤗 I don't know whether you're anxiety is chemically based or if it's cognitively based but generally if medication helps you then it's probably a chemical issue

I also would recommend therapy on a weekly basis and pour your heart into that like you would anything in life treat it like your life depends on it also support groups look in your community there everywhere the biggest thing I can suggest is a really good support system and sometimes if you don't have it you have to work at finding it I'm in the process of doing that finding people that understand is priceless God bless you today hang in there NEVER QUIT IT WILL GET BETTER

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Calmonoutside

Thank you so much for your advice, I am looking into therapy, but haven’t quite convinced myself yet.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

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Spaz119

I used to worry, but I hate my situation and the anxiety is so bad that sometimes I think it would be a relief to be ill, just to get out of all the responsibilities I didn’t sign up for but are my problem alone. Sad.

Of course if I was sick I would have a nervous breakdown and be terrified. It’s really a no win.

I’ve had chest pains my whole life. I figure if it was going to kill me it would have done so years ago.

The only good thing is if you go to a doctor you’ll know for sure and cross things off your list.

I’m impressed you can have a calm exterior. When I’m bad I walk around like this 😳😳😳

I just started on this site and it’s been a great relief to finally talk to people who are going through the same thing and not shaking their heads in wonderment. Most people just don’t get it 😞

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ilikebears

Hello! I also have health anxiety. I am not on any medications because they scare me, but I am in therapy (CBT) learning how to manage obsessive thoughts, and that has helped me a great deal. Health anxiety is rough, so hang in there and know you're not alone. Nice to meet you. :-)

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Calmonoutside

Thanks to all who responded to my post. I am feeling stronger just knowing I am not alone. I appreciate the advice, and am feeling hopeful that I will get through these storms❤️❤️

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Bird_in_Hand

Damn if I dont feel that same way. I wish I had some advice for the both of us... but for some it's nice knowing other people feel similarly. I get a headache and immediately start asking why; I always have enough water and 3 square balanced meals and minimal caffeine. Then my mind immediately goes to me having a stroke or some shit... it gets exhausting and my partner is tired of it too 😓

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Ayman34

Hi. The problem you are facing I have faced them too.. Still now when I get arm pain i feel like heart attack. But I recovered from that stage by doing what ever I wish. not caring about anything any pressure. overcoming fears.. it is most important. Try this when ever you feel your anxiety is rising start laughing because its nothing this helps me a lot.

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