Tired of pretending

[Shimmer93]

Does anyone else feel like you have to hide who you are or how you’re feeling to please other people? Lately my depression and anxiety have been off the charts but to everyone else I have to pretend that’s everything is fine because it’s “all in my head”.

[Dahearn]

I also hide my depression. I don’t know if it is to make other people happy or why I hide it. Most people think I’m ok, but they have no idea of the pain I’m going through. My anxiety have been so high lately. I’m just so tired.

[Shimmer93 in reply to Dahearn]

I know the feeling of being tired. Everyday I’m just drained physically, emotionally, and mentally. It will get better though so we just need to hold on.

[Hidden]

If you are still feeling depress on meds, your doctor might need to chat your meds or add on a different one

[Shimmer93 in reply to Hidden]

My meds are working... I just have a lot of trauma that’s gonna be with me for the rest of my life.

[blackcat64013]

Yes I do too. There is a great term which describes it perfectly - "smiling depression". In this time we shouldn't have to take it until we make it. Pretence sucks so much mental and physical energy out that we could use towards living a better life 🤔

[Shimmer93 in reply to blackcat64013]

We really shouldn’t have to.

[Iammesues]

Are we really hiding our depression or just not sharing because we know other people cannot relate or understand the pain and sorrow? Or because we have difficulty articulating how we feel and see the world?

[Shimmer93 in reply to Iammesues]

For me it's both. I hide it from most because I am in a position where I am supposed to be strong. But I do also keep it from those who do not understand because it never ends well

[Missy_D]

I have had to hide it for so long I now struggle asking for help from the professionals. Even in group therapy I always play down how I am feeling. It is not right. We shouldn't have to for our feelings are valid and just as important as the next person. That is way it is good to have an outlet such as this site. Posting a good rant is very therapeutic. Take care xxx

[Shimmer93 in reply to Missy_D]

I had the hardest time asking for help and then I found betterhelp, and its been super helpful. But not enough, ya know?

[LoveBear]

Hi I’ve been pretending for a while, and I think I was doing that because feeling depressed, never mind talking about it, is not allowed. I’ve been trying everything and honestly at this point I just don’t care anymore

[Shimmer93 in reply to LoveBear]

I'm here if you ever need to talk, I know what it feels like to have no one to talk to.

[Hidden]

What is “better health”? And I too pretend to better ok. My friends and family can’t handle it when I tell them I’m not doing well. They just don’t understand.

[Shimmer93 in reply to Hidden]

It’s s like online counseling. its not free but for me it was worth it to have someone to actually help me attempt to work through it... and I know what you mean that they do not understand.. it seems like the only people who get how I am feeling are the ones that are going trough what I am and even then I don't want to tell them what I am experiencing because I don't want to bring them down.

[Iammesues in reply to Shimmer93]

Actually sharing with people with similar experiences helps me a lot because as you say, they completely understand. I find that many of us with anxiety can finish each other’s sentences

[Shimmer93 in reply to Iammesues]

yeah i defiantly hoover around people with the same "problems" that I have because they will understand and not judge me or call me crazy

[Iammesues in reply to Shimmer93]

Be kind to yourself when you’re having a bad day. It’s ok to feel sad. Take the time you need and don’t pretend it’s a good day when it’s not. No reason to pretend. Not all people need all the details right, but you need to be able to say I’m having a rough day, can we chat tomorrow. Most people can relate

[Shimmer93]

I hate that it always comes down to that we are weak

[Hidden]

No one in my life has any idea of the crippling anxiety and deep emotional pain I struggle with every day of my life. My family knows I struggle with anxiety, but no one truly knows me at all. I've never felt like anyone actually cares about me so I just pretend my life away just so no one even asks. I've felt so alone for most of my life. I don't know any other way to be.

[Iammesues in reply to Hidden]

That’s exactly how I live too. There are three people in my life who ask me how I am and really mean it. These three people really know and really care. I still have a hard time explaining to them my thoughts. Difficult finding the words

[Hidden]

Hiding it is a way of responding to the trauma you are experiencing whatever that may be, you’re invading your own boundaries. It’s so hard bc I experience so much shame and guilt around my mental illness but I know If you don’t own it will eat away at you and it does take a long time.

[crowningglory19]

While we all tend to put our best foot forward, we shouldn't have to always pretend to be someone we aren't to those we love and who love us. Don't hide it but don't high light it either. You are who you are, and pretending just brings about whole new anxieties and stress. Some things that help truly get rid of anxiety tho are both magnesium and ginseng. Magnesium malate and oxide are best, but citrate can give diarrhea sometimes. Mag. calms the mind body and spirit and is good to be taken every evening so you sleep well. Ginseng is great to get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop. Sunshine gives you vit. D to raise your spirits and 30 min daily without sunscreen is recommended. Hope these help you too! <3