Anxiety and Depression Support
19,437 members16,528 posts

Why do I not seem to get many responses?

Someone mentioned on a different post that I only ever get a few replies and asked someone else that replied "Why do you think no one else was replying to Mooolly?"

So here I am asking the few people that respond, why only those few people seem to respond.

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Reach out and ask kar.

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I could reach out to almost any person on this site and most of them would be nice and supportive, so why suggest Kar specifically? Are you just trying to be brash?

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Because kar replied to you and you like kar reply. Please do not throw out negative accusations for a suggestion offered you. If you like kar' s response, maybe PM kar?

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Who said I even liked Kar's reply?

I physically clicked the like button, yes, but I did that because I didn't have a response back and I did want Kar to think I just ignored it. When you responded I had some questions and some explanations.

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(My head is getting sore from hitting it against a wall.)

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What "professional" would act like this by calling me out on an unrelated post ... It's sad, truly.

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(I feel like I'm hitting my head against a wall.)

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Looking at the number of responses to your last several posts, I'd say you've done pretty well. A few of them went unanswered, but most got at least a few responses, and a couple got a lot. You're more popular than you think.

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The most recent post (excluding this one) was mostly a back and forth between me and one person.

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Okay, I read the entire last post and you are right. But the title of that post pretty much answers your question: "I can't take most people's advice". People won't be motived to try and help you if your reply is "That won't work for me" or something similar. What's the point in them trying if you automatically reject it?

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You got it! You understood. xx

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I meant "motivated", by the way.

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I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know.

I want help but I can't seem to take it.

I don't know why. I don't know. I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know.

I just don't know anymore.

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Also, I'm hoping that someone with suggest something I've never heard/read before and I'm like "hey, that sounds pretty neat. I think I should try that."

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Thank you Jen 456. You got it.

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If I get multiple replies there's a better chance of someone suggesting something I think is best and different and might want to try.

Again, as I replied to someone else:

I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know. I just don't know anymore (not that I knew much before) but I want help but can't seem to take it.

I don't know Why.

Also I "attacked" Hearyou because hearyou could have been a bit more open and just said what Jkl5500 said ("What's the point in them trying if you automatically reject it") but Hearyou just kept saying ask Kar and it was really getting on my nerves. Plus, some of the things Hearyou said bothered me, which didn't help.

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My phone autocorrect a miss spelled version of neat (or something) to best. I meant neat.

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Remember, this is not therapy. People on this site share what has worked for them. If you want more help, I suggest visiting with your doctor and/or therapist.

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HearYou gave you a very helpful reply and stated it very clearly. If you react negatively to a reply you may get fewer.

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If HearYou had said "If you automatically reject everyone's advice then no one will try to help you" or something, then our whole ordeal (between Hearyou and I) would have ended soooo much sooner. And because of this fact I'm really freakin irritated with Hearyou.

If you're confused by "whole ordeal" read the responses to my previous post.

All the responses of "Ask Kar" were a waste of time. When someone could send a single message rather than wasting their time and my time but they don't, I get annoyed.

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Many people on this site value the replies of HearYou. The advice is excellent and to the point. HearYou has helped a lot of people, including me. I am sorry you did not feel HearYou's advice was helpful.

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That was very kind of you. Appreciate you very much.

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If I had said that first, you would have probably been angry. In the future, I will remember to do that rather than having you try to think it out yourself.

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I'm getting kinda of a sarcastic type of vibe from your response Hearyou (cause of wording and how I'm reading it), so rather than make things worse I'll just ask.

Are you trying to sound sarcastic-ish, or are you being genuine? (I don't know how else to word that question, sorry if it sound attack-y)

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This post is over I think. My head is just too sore and the plaster is falling off the wall. Please lighten up. Find some humor in life, not worrying that someone is trying to harm or disrespect you. We're not.

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I am not in a place to "find humor in life" right now. The only thing that got me through school last week was extremely loud music and even that started to die. I have almost no interests or hobbies anymore. I used to read nonstop, and it was great and distracting. Book were basically my friends and now I can't focus enough to read more than 3 pages.

It makes me sad.

When I'm like this I get easily irritated or I just don't feel much.

Sorry.

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Try.

Humor breaks through depression, sadness, everything.

Try like a Monty Python skit or one from Saturday Day Night Live.

Humor is there, it's everywhere, and for a brief few moments, depression can't take up the room the humor has.

I sleep in a very large high bed as my husband is a TALL big man. Which I am not.

When I wake in the morning, my depression is just waiting for my feet to hit the floor.....and sometimes I laugh because I look down and wonder what would happen if let my head hit the floor before my feet?

Sorry, that is an absolutely ridiculous idea....for many reasons...and don't you see? That's weird funny, I smile for a split second, and I get out of bed and there is ole depression waiting for my feet, but my day has started just a little bit better. :) xx

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Thank you for your support.x

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I'd like to say something a little more positive. I've read your profile and a few of your previous posts. I hope you are under treatment for your depression and anxiety, because that is very important. Don't try and deal with this all by yourself.

With that said, many of your statements are puzzling to me. After reading them, it's hard to decide whether they were written by someone who is truly depressed, or by someone who needs to be "motivated" ( as in a KITA). Maybe it's a little of both. HearYou was pretty blunt in the last post, and it's clear she favored a KITA. But her point is correct: No one can make you WANT to do anything. That has to come from inside you. We can give you all the tips and advice in the world, but without any internal desire, you're not going anywhere. That has to come from you, not us.

I say all this not to put you down in any way, but to give you some advice you can truly use.

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Thank you, You were right on point, Hope she understands better now,

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I was rereading the exchange between you two on the previous post. Personally, I prefer Clint Eastwood's (as Dirty Harry) view on opinions.

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Hummmmp. lol. But THAT type of dealing with an opinion is definitely not within the guidelines of this forum. :)

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So you guys think I'm Korea's International Trade Association?

I'm just kidding, I googled KITA and that was one possible meaning of it and I found it slightly amusing.

By KITA do you mean someone you can never help, or is there a different definition I couldn't find?

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I would be very happy to help you. That's why I was very careful in wording my previous post. I have suffered depression several times, and I know well what it's like to have no motivation. I tried to treat you the way I'd want to be treated if it was the other way around.

I just wanted to make clear that all the advice in the world won't help if you never act on any of it. If you are physically unable to do so, be sure to tell your doctor so this can be corrected, because your depression is not being successfully treated.

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I had my meds upped early last month and my doctor said if they still didn't work we'd switch. She also said that if they weren't working to comin before my next appointment (which is today) but sometimes it was doing something (just not much) so I didn't get another appointment scheduled.

So I'll talk to my doctor tomorrow and I might be spending the week in a mental hospital. I don't know for sure, but I hope I do get to stay.

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But thank you, that is very kind of you. I think you worded your response very well.

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As for the KITA thing, some people (NOT YOU!) have made a practice of "getting over" on others for their entire lives. There's nothing wrong with them, mentally or physically. They're just lazy and selfish. Those people DO need a KITA.

For those who have never suffered depression, it's hard to tell what the cause is, and they assume it's laziness. So, they use the KITA.

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I'm still kinda confused on what a KITA is.

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Kick in the ass.

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Also, if Hearyou is reading this - I was NOT referring to you in my last post. I know very well that you suffer from depression. I was talking about those who don't have a clue about it.

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Thank you, I know you are aware of the issues I deal with. Because my depression is so deep in the mornings, I know sometimes I require a KITA, rather than excuses or someone taking care of me.......not an easy thing to do. :)

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Ooooooh ok

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What is a KITA?

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Read above. xx

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Kick In The A$$. Some of us have been kicked enough already. Many who suffer anxiety and depression suffer it due to abuse. Still, there will always be those that believe a good kick fixes all.

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Yes, I hear you- kind of like tough love. We know it takes a lot to ask for help in reality. I liked your definition of KIck in The A$$! You're right many have been kicked enough already. This current administration does not help matters either.

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I know how you feel I posted a couple of days ago about my dad nearing the end I hoped to get a coupe of response I could take comfort from but hey I never got any.

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Am very sorry about your father. Am not certain how the posts are directed, delivered around the world. I have asked the administrators as well as HU; not received an answer yet.

I do not recall receiving yours. My father died in my arms after many nights of staying up so I could wash his face. All I can offer is sorrow your loss.

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I just read an interesting thing called 'CLick Bait'...where someone posts something that gets people a bit upset or defensive and then the poster keeps 'Baiting' the threat to keep the upset going...trolling it was called. Now I find that very un-necessary and surly not what this site has always represented to those looking for a safe place to be...would suggest Mooolly that because nobody can seem to tell you what you want to hear... maybe just keep reading others posts and see if you can find what you need from that...nobody is a mind reader and nobody here would want to hurt anyone's feelings...but I find your comments a bit brash and frankly, not really constructive for yours or anyone's welfare. Nobody can fix you, nobody knows what you really need, only you can do that for yourself. May you find the peace and the answers your looking for.

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Thank you for understanding.

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This site is NOT about how many replies you get some posts don't get none, besides most of us are not on here often and mostly people reply to post they can relate to or know what you're going through. We post about our struggles our feelings or how our day is going if we get reply good if not then o well, maybe next time.

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