Help

[bratt1927]

I am struggling with depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed with PTSD, Anxiety and depression about 5 years ago and I am on medication. I would have depressive episodes but was able to make it back out. I was in a relationship that ended 9 months ago and I cant seem to pick myself back up. I have been getting anxiety attacks on a daily in the past two weeks and have been the most depressed that I have ever been. I cant seem to get pass the breakup and lived the past 9 months grieving while watching the person that I love share their life with someone else. I try not to communicate, however, that hurts more and when we communicate it hurts just the same. My son who is on the autistic spectrum is now struggling with depression because he sees his mother go through this every day. My heartache becomes physical pain and i have no idea how to get back up. I was seeing a therapist, however, she will be unavailable for the next 4 months. I am really struggling to breathe at the moment. I have lost weight, cannot sleep and have no motivation to do anything. I have no friends and no one to talk to. My ex is trying to be my friend to help me through this but she is the source of my pain. I cant cope, I cant function, i need help.

[Amy2275]

I’m sorry you are going through sooo much. I just found this support forum today. Everyone has been very nice. My therapist went off on maternity leave until September so I can relate. I’m struggling with the decision to start up with someone else. It seems logical no? I have fears about it I guess. Do you have someone else available to see?

[bratt1927 in reply to Amy2275]

Today was my first time on this site as well. My therapist went out on maternity leave since December and was supposed to have another therapist fill in for her, however, that therapist is waiting to be credentialed through insurance. At the moment I am searching for someone else, however, it is a road I would rather not take. It has been so much and just the idea of having to start from scratch is sending me into panic mode. It is a lot and I am finding it hard to function. I have cried almost every day for the past 9 months and I cannot get myself out of this hole. I am no use to myself at work anymore. I don’t know what to do

[Amy2275 in reply to bratt1927]

I totally understand not wanting to start with someone new. I feel comfortable with my therapist. Then I think...what if the new person is even better? I guess I just need the space to let stuff out. My wife is at her breaking point with me. Again. We just got back from an amazing vacation yesterday. I forgot to pack my lexapro and suffered terribly. I have to get my levels back up. In the meantime I feel lost and alone and can’t lean on her. She’s tired of being my “jack hammer”. Now nothing feels familiar which is the opposite of what I need. It sucks. My friend, you are not alone!

[bratt1927 in reply to Amy2275]

I am literally falling apart, I have been crying non stop and feel like I am bout to die. My heart hurts so much. I am in the middle of a breakdown and my son is witnessing all of this. I don’t know what to do, I need to beg a grip

[Amy2275 in reply to bratt1927]

Can you do something for yourself? Can you call a friend to come over or go meet? It sounds like you are in crisis and need to interrupt things (for lack of a better phrase).

[bratt1927 in reply to Amy2275]

That is the biggest problem, I don’t have friends. It is so hard, I try to go out and make friends but it is so difficult to get motivated to do anything

[BabygirlCynt]

Hi. New here. When is the last time you've tried new meds? That may help

[bratt1927 in reply to BabygirlCynt]

I had a medication change a month ago, o feel that I am at my lowest point right now.

[BabygirlCynt in reply to bratt1927]

Let's not forget that sometimes it takes awhile for the meds to fully work. I understand feeling low very much, but you gotta hold on you're worth more than gold!!!!!

[bratt1927 in reply to BabygirlCynt]

I have changed medication more than a month ago. Nothing seems to be working. I just feel so hopeless , I really don’t know what to do. I am consumed with grief and can’t seem to move forward or backwards. Nothing works, literally nothing. I am waiting now to get an appointment with a new therapist, I feel like I am dying, literally. I am wasting away and I don’t know how to stop it.

[BabygirlCynt in reply to bratt1927]

I absolutely understand the feelings you have. I still feel many of the things you do. I feel hopeless and endless misery for one reason or another quite often than I admit. I'm newly diagnosed, well almost 3 months now and I am in need of doing as I suggested to you in changing meds. But at the same time I've also reached a conclusion that there is a situation I am in need of changing ASAP. No medication, no counseling/ therapy will ever work unless my environment changes. But I'm not in this thread to discuss me, just giving you a look inside my head a little bit to let you know that someone absolutely does understand, I do. And well, maybe you should think of your environment and people around you, and create yourself a healthier environment as well as measures you've already started.

[bratt1927 in reply to BabygirlCynt]

I am in anothet depressive episode at the moment. I am feing so sad, helpless and useless. I can't stop my mind from negative racing thoughts, I can't sleep, can't focus and just feel so broken and lost. I just can't cope

[BabygirlCynt]

I hope you are feeling better today.

[ferris2424]

Everyone on this site can relate. You have friends here, and keep talking to us. Weekends can be rough with more time to think.