I recently lost everything. I have no family and few friends. I am currently stuck on the opposite coast from which I live. I have no idea when I can go home and if it’s not soon I don’t know what will become of me. I am in a desperate situation and close to giving up.
I don’t understand how I got here. I have always tried my best to be a loving and honorable person. I have been a good friend to many. People offer to help but never do. Everyone is busy with their own lives which I do understand. However, I am stunned how all my friends seem to be gone now when it’s me who needs them for a change. I am hurt and broken and trying my best not to be bitter.
I wish I could be there for others to help them as well as to take my mind off my own situation.
I’m here if anyone needs a sympathetic ear.
Written by
AloneandScared
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Hi AloneandScared Welcome to the Support Forum. That's very kind of you to offer a sympathetic ear to those in need but I think right now, it's got to be about you. We don't disappear in hard times like some of our friends and family as well. This is a wonderful group of men and women who truly care about each other. We learn from each other as well as being supported and understood.
Changes in our lives is always one of the hardest things for us to accept. Knowing that you are not alone, I'm hoping will help you go forward. I'm not quite sure about your situation other than you feel so alone and scared (oh, that's why the user name) x
This is a safe outlet for you to express your fears as well as tell us a little about the situation you find yourself in. We share with each other so that we can better help. When you are ready, we will be only a message away. Stay Positive xx
It’s complicated. I suffer from a variety of “invisable illnesses” and have been thrust into an overwhelming and impossible position. I would like to share more but am afraid to do so publically. I am humiliated as well as alone and scared. The bottom line is I have been betrayed by family, am facing complete financial ruin and am at the mercy of a double crossing husband who cannot wait to be rid of me. I will be lucky if I don’t end up homeless.
I would love to talk to you as well. I’m not lying when I say I would like to try and be there for others. I used to be the person who would try and console my friends when they were hurt. It’s funny how I always feel that I can help fix other’s problems but am a mess when it comes to my own. I guess a lot of people feel that way.
We probably have some things in common. Unfortunately I am not computer savvy. I am trying to learn my way around the site. We can message privately if you like. I think I can manage that.
I’m guessing you have lost your mother as well. I’m so sorry for your pain!!! People say it gets easier with time but in my opinion you just get used to being without them. It still hurts all the time.
I look forward to getting to know you and will message you as I did the other sweet lady. Hang in there!!!!! 😘😘😘
Oh I'm so sad to hear this! welcome to this site! You will find loving & caring people here with a lot of inspiration! I'm here for you whenever you need, I only have a computer so I can't say I will get right back to you , yet I will when I'm on the computer. I'm sending a little joy your way with peace of mind. XXX
Thank you very, very much!!!! I just joined the site today and already feel some comfort. Everyone seems so very kind and compassionate. Thanks again!!!
Hello, I'm sorry for what you're going through. And I know EXACTLY how that is as far as being able to listen and help others with their problems, but clueless when it comes to myself. But I think I'm finally learning, after learning about narcissistic abuse and also being the child of an alcoholic. Because of being a child of an alcoholic, our needs were not treated as important - they were treated as a nuisance, so we learned to squash our feelings so much, that we don't even know what we want or who we are - we don't even know ourselves! But I'm finally learning. Asking God for help has helped me to come a long way too
Thank you! I have never heard anyone use the term narcissistic abuse. I complained of being raised by a ragefull narcissist. Reading your reply was a wonderful way to make me feel understood and connected. I needed that!
I am so glad to hear that was helpful in some way Your instincts were definitely spot-on -- sounds like you suffered under a narcissistic abuser. They control with their rages or other manipulations, make us feel like we are wrong for the feelings we have, so we learn to hide what we feel and try to please. There are some fantastic channels on YouTube which have helped me a lot, such as Lisa A. Romano's channel
Thanks for this reply. I am also the child of an alcoholic parent. My dad stopped drinking when I was in elementary school but I remember his as a raging alcoholic for years befor that. And, even after he stopped drinking the verbal rage continued. Growing up this way I feel definitely impacted the way I relate to handling challenges and communicating with others about those challenges. I am having an immensely difficult time lately and can relate to to “aloneandscared.” Today I am having yet another very difficult day.
Hiya, so sorry to hear about your predicament. As other posters have eloquently described, there are genuinely caring people here who will empathise and offer support and advice, if required. I also suspect, although I do not know for sure, that many people here have great expertise in a range of subjects, so there will be a font of knowledge for you to tap into. So all you have to do is ask the question. Although the internet has many downsides, I think forums like this portray it in its best light. I sincerely hope that knowing this will make you less alone and scared. Take care,
Welcome alone and scared, we all wandered into this forum feeling a bit like that and found a place of great comfort and compassion. My parents weren’t alcoholics but they were abusers and rageaholics so the out come was the same for us kids. But there is healing and hope for our lives. Thank you so much for posting and keep doing it. You will feel so validated here as we may not be where you are now but we sure have visited!! Love and blessings
Hey AloneandScared. You are not alone! We are all here to listen. The world is big and sometimes scary and life punches us in the gut sometimes. However, if we have others to talk to like you do here, then it can help. I'm so sorry you are experiencing this very difficult time. I sincerely hope you do not give up because I'm confident there are better times ahead. Please reach out if you need to vent or talk to someone. This is a great place to feel validated and not so alone.
Oh, kiddo, I can't count the number of times I've said to myself, "Why is this happening to me? I'm a good person. It isn't fair." One of the hard truths is that life isn't fair. And when it's filled with fears -- fears about being alone, about not being where we want to be --it's hard to see any way but down. But I think lots of people here have experienced what you're experiencing. I can only tell you what I've done when I've felt so out of control that there doesn't seem to be an up. I first try to analyze why I'm fearful -- to see if it's "free-floating" or from a very real cause. (Free-floating: what will happen if? ... real: there's a bus veering off the street toward me.) I try to calm myself down with breathing or listening to music. And then I make myself do something I like: petting my dog, watching a movie or an old TV show that gives me pleasure, attempting a crossword puzzle, whatever. Something to get over the hump of feeling out of control. And then, as hard as it seems, encouraging myself go out and find people who share some of my interests. One of the possible places -- don't laugh -- is the public library because there's always something going on there. And remember, you're not alone. We're here. Take care.
I see many have replied to your post already with lots of advice. I just wanted to let you know I’m here also if you need to chat.
I am also away from my home town where I raised my kids, and where my entire family and friends are.
I can’t understand why I ever thought moving was a good idea. It’s been a year and a half. I will be so grateful if I am ever able to move back. My husband doesn’t want to move back, so I’m afraid I am going to be on my own if I can figure out how to go back. It’s very scary.
I’m open to listening if you need me. Message me anytime.
I am so incredibly sorry to hear about this situation you find yourself in. I have found myself in similar situations, at least from the perspective of how your close friends are reacting to the situation. I find that many people don't truly know how to help someone cope with their suffering, they don't know the right way in which to help and they certainly don't want to be offensive or cross the wrong line. This is especially true if they have never personally been through any situation that would allow them to see things from your perspective. So it is hard. However, I think that any friend who doesn't know the correct approach should not distance themselves from you as that would make the situation worse. Open communication and a support group is so important in times like these. And I am certainly here for you as someone who wants to listen to your struggles and be that resource of support for you if you feel inclined. I hope you find the good in this horrible situation.
I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner. I so appreciate your insight and willingness to help. I am lousy online and just found your post while I was checking my email. I must’ve missed it earlier. Thanks again 😘
Hello AloneandScared, we have some things in common, would love to talk to you privately. I’m also losing my husband and living on the wrong coast...so alone. I’m here for you to reach out to, if you ever need to❤️
Hi there, I’m here and feeling alone as well so I thought I can be of company. I understand what you mean regarding the inability of friends being able to be there for you when needed the most. I find that sometimes people don’t know how to be/what to say/or just really are wrapped up in their own lives. I try so hard to not take it personally but I have a hard time with that. I also like to be supportive for friends and think I’m quite an empathetic person. I did not grow up in an empathetic environment, so I try to be for others what I’d like someone to be for me. But sometimes, I too can get worn down if someone is really going through a persistent hard time and needing a lot of support. So I understand both sides of the “coin.” Sometimes though, I always think, just having someone reach out to say that you are loved, thought of, and wish you well can make you feel less alone. I wish I had simply more of that. I am also guilty though of “ghosting” when my life gets really difficult and not responding to those that do reach out because I’m embarrassed of what I’m going through. I had a couple of month of that which is incredibly difficult. I don’t want to feel like a burden or as I was told by my Dad..”I don’t have the right to disrupt people's lives,” after I went through a very unfortunate incident. I also feel like I’ve lost everything. I also lost my career post cancer as I’ve just been working PT since and using my savings to fill in the gap. My savings is nearly exhausted. I work primarily from home and today I have yet to get out of bed and it’s nearly noon. I do have work to do as well. I rent space in a house of housemates that I do not like. These housemates are the house owners family so she just takes them in but they are toxic. My family is afar and I don’t have close relationships with my mother or father. Whew, I’m sharing a lot and I don’t know if this is helpful for up to know. I also feel like giving up again. Yesterday I read all these wonderfully, supportive posts on my page and I felt a boost but today I feel weak. I’m going to revisit those posts and keep trying to get moving today. I hope you are hanging in there. You are not alone in this. I’m feeling just the same. Thinking about you and wishing you strength and comfort.
I think you are to one who needs a sympathetic ear and maybe friend. I am sorry about your situation but remember we are all fighting something . I think I set myself up to be hurt. I always get hurt because people are busy with their own lives. But I was never too busy to help a friend. But I also noticed friends disappear when the going gets rough. We have to be able to stand up and not depend on anyone. Mane if you write down the things that are going on in your life but also write down the things you are grateful for. Which coast are you on and why can’t you go home. If you want to chat, I’m a good listener
I am in the same situation.. I went through, and am still going through, the worst time ever and all my friends seem to have disappeared and just simply don't care about me anymore. I as well suffer from an "invisible" illness and would be more than happy to talk to you if you'd like to message me. I love meeting people, even if only online
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