New here

[Missingsun2014]

This time of year brings up the most horrible feelings. But it seems to get worse every year. My life is good to most, but I’m having trouble asking for help. I don’t want to burden my friends or family because they have their own problems. I do not feel I have a purpose, my son is grown, my mom is depressed but in denial, she can’t help me. My feelings are getting the best of me. I have no energy or pleasure in doing anything I used to love. I’m too old to be young, too young to be old! I need help!

[Hidden]

First off welcome to the site. If I may be of any help to you, just let me know...I'm 61 and lost my mom 30 years ago, long story, since then I've dealt with depression, agoraphobia and anxiety....now mostly anxiety yet I do have my sad days.

You'll find many kind, understanding and caring people here.I wish you all the best.

May your day sparkle.

Dump trucks of groovy love, peace, light, joy and hugs for you!

[Missingsun2014 in reply to Hidden]

I’m sorry to hear about your son. Mine is just living his life and I feel I’m not needed any longer. He does not want to hear how I feel.

Thank you for your kind words!

[Mrspjsmom]

Welcome Missingsun2014. Both of my children are also grown and on their own. They are busy with their own lives and even when I ask for help I rarely get it. Maybe you could do something new this holiday season. Something you've always wanted to do. This is a rough time of year between the winter weather and the holidays. Try to make yourself a priority. We all have a purpose. Sometimes it's just hard to figure out what our purpose is. HUGS and BLESSINGS!

[Missingsun2014 in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Wow, that really helps. I wanted to run away to NYC for the holiday and take my momma, but she wrote me a “book” of why she can’t go, and now all I hear about how she is going to spend so much money on bad food that she doesn’t need to eat! My family doesn’t pan, but we all feel obligated by the holiday! My son is a good man, but I obviously am reaping what I’ve sown. I want to tell him how I’m feeling, but that has never worked in the past. He just makes me feel like I should snap out of it! He has seen me be a string independent woman, and now he’s acting as my parent, because he’s “grown”.

Thank you for your time! It really does help!

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Missingsun2014]

Glad I could help a little. My son is very supportive when I'm having a rough time. He is just very busy with his own life. My daughter is supportive but is a nurse and can be a bit too clinical when she tries to help. At least they are both local. But the holidays are rough. My mother in law insists we are at her house for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. With two nurses and a firefighter in my immediate family they make sure to be available when she wants them. As a result I often spend holidays alone.

[KekEstacado]

You are not alone, here you'll find people who feel like you, sometimes we can't find a sense yo living but this always come with a reason, why did you start yo feel as this wat?

[Wild_N]

Definitely you are not alone, I feel you and sounds more like the cycle I go through every now and then. Ask for help feelings are not visible and not asking for help will eventually bring you to a point where you will despise people around you where else they don't know or understand. You'll come across idiots but those who really love and care for you will be your pillars

Let the sunshine in... Remember when you look down you'll be depressed, when you look around you'll be oppressed and when you look up you will see the light.

[searay]

I understand the part about asking for help. Sometimes it is hard to explain what I am feeling and why because sometimes there seems to be no reason. I lost my husband two years ago right before Thanksgiving. That year I was in shock and surprisingly made it through the holidays. The second year I realized this was my life now, and, well, ok. But this year I am rehashing what happened and it has caused the anxiety to rear its ugly head. What I do know is that having a project helps. Forcing yourself to focus on something other than the anxiety. Believe me, it is not always easy to do that. I am trying to figure out right now what project I can get myself into.

[Missingsun2014 in reply to searay]

That is healthy thinking! When my son went to college I found a hobby, that was 5 years ago and now I have lost interest in doing anything! That scares me because I have nothing to look forward to. I would really like to get back into pallet arts. I covered an entire wall in my son's room with pallet board and it is amazing! I hope you find something you love to do!

[searay in reply to Missingsun2014]

I agree. You should really get back into that if it helps! Even if it just starts with planning to do it and then go for it!

[pink318]

Hello,

Welcome to the forum!

When my only child went to college, I was so sad that I could not describe how sad I was.

Being an empty nester has also positives and one of those is that I can practice my faith everyday.

I have a lifegroup that I meet once a week and it’s a big help for me to stay encouraged.

I’m sorry for all you are going through. I pray that you can find ways to enjoy each day especially this coming holidays. Please stay strong. We are here for you. Keep us posted.