One of my major triggers is people talking about me or making fun of me, or the perception of such. I don’t like general statements, posts, or letters. Being in the office for work is awful for me. My co-workers only know me at work. They really don’t know anything about me nor do I know much about them. Sarcasm is awful. I never understand the true intent.
“Are they talking about me? Are they making fun of me? What did I do? Did I offend somebody? I didn’t mean to. I want friends. I’m crazy and overbearing. I can be better. I should be better. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I’m all alone. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t have any friends. I can do better. Nobody would know if I were gone. Maybe I should end it all. No, I can’t do that. I won’t do that to my children. Oh, the pain is so bad. I want the pain to go away. I must live with this terrible fate. Is there another way? I shouldn’t think like that. Why don’t I have any friends? I probably offended somebody. I can do better. I’m such an idiot.”
My closest loved ones know if you have something to say to me, just say it. Don’t hold back because as long as the end result is clear with understood expectations, I can recover much faster. I am starting to know some friends on here. I’m sorry if I’m not there for you as much as you would like. I try to be but I have to monitor my own triggers, which means I need to isolate myself. If I’m not posting or responding, I’m likely having a difficult time. I do check for messages regularly. If you ever want to talk, send me a private message. I love for people to reach out and I love to talk privately.