i just had a wonderful 2 weeks of not having a 'cloudy day' or 'thunderstorms'. i was so completely fine that even i got pressures at work, they don't seem to bother me anymore. if i missed a deadline, i could just comfort myself in a flash --- no self-pity thoughts after --- and everything would be just fine. i wish i could be that forever, until last night i got drenched by the 'rain'. i was so wet and cold. it happened all of a sudden that i got pissed off because i forgot to prepare for it. i was free of burdens, of mental baggage, i had nothing with me. i forgot my umbrella. i miss that umbrella which makes me feel safe and dry under the rain. i miss being under the protection of something after a loooooong day of protecting my sanity and keeping myself intact. i miss being a bomb detonated and its impact being contained by something made of arms smooth as that comfortable summer afternoon.
now i dont have any choice but to continue walking under the rain.
Written by
Carbicide17
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Congrats on all the good stuff you've achieved, and guess it's time to get a new umbrella, but I have to ask...it was such a curious statement to me, I'm intrigued...what do you mean when you said: ' i miss being a bomb detonated'?
that's a metaphor, but i think my grammar is wrong. what i meant was that i miss the feeling of just letting everything out without worrying about what might happen next.
Please don't worry about the future no knows what will happen, prepare for it. If you want to let it all out go for it! Somewhere that is safe & no one can here! Best of luck & peace of mind!
...because when i let things out of my mind, i break things, say veeeery mean things, and ending up hurting myself. so yeah. i worry all the time since i get pissed off pretty easily.
Don't beat yourself up so. Who doesn't get angry & say things they regret? I know I have, give yourself a break from beating yourself up, if like me they're plenty of people out there that will do that for you! Wishing you have a great day!
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