Anxiety and Depression Support
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Missing Who I Used to Be. Is there a way to get this back?

I've managed to feel okay the past few days through a combination of staying busy and finding some solid youtube channels to get lost in. However, this afternoon has been not so great. I was going through some old pictures and old messages (about two-three years old) and if the me from then saw me now, I wouldn't recognize myself. I lost a huge part of my confidence, arguably almost all of it. Now compared to then, I'm much more insecure and timid. I can't seem to be sure of myself or my position now. I used to be so carefree, feeling like I had things together, and that I would be fine if things didn't go as planned. The source of my loss in confidence is fairly simple to identify in myself. I made a huge mistake in October, something that I never thought I would ever do, and it made me feel like I've turned into the person I never wanted to be. I lost all confidence in my decision making, my intelligence, and myself in general. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to how to build my confidence back up in ways that will stick. Thank you so much.

3 Replies

First of all, are you seeking medical help for all this? This is quite a load for you to carry around all by yourself. These kinds of negative thoughts have a way of multiplying and getting out of control if you hold it all in. Please see your doctor ASAP and get started with treatment. There's no need to suffer in silence.

Confidence can be a fragile thing, but it can be regained quickly if you run up a string of "victories". Start small and celebrate your accomplishments. You have been confident and carefree in the past, so after a few successes you'll quickly be back to your old self.

Let us know how you're doing. You've come to the right place.




I've had anxiety for the past few months, really knocked my confidence like you. I've found listening to guided meditations helps - youtube - and also have realised it will take time, plus little steps forward.

Recognising that you're like every other person helps too - none of us are perfect and everyone makes mistakes and poor decisions and choices sometimes, but they don't define us. It's okay to be the imperfect you - join the club :)

Talk to your doctor, stay off caffeine (it increases anxiety), eat well, drink lots of water and exercise at least a little bit each day - that will give your body a lift. Talk to your pharmacist about vitamins that help anxiety - I've found magnesium helps. Breathing exercise can help to give you a break from anxiety too. Go for a walk in the fresh air - don't hide yourself away. Keeping yourself busy is great, but also acknowledge your negative thoughts - they tend to become bigger and scarier if you try to bury them completely. Remember they are what they are - just thoughts.

This will turn around, but it might take time, and you do need to be proactive and make it happen, but you can get the old you back :)


what ever it was that has knocked you down I would suggest you talk in therapy about addressing all the parameters of change you just explained that has happened to you because of it. It's hard to know from what you said how to offer advice other than finding someone professional who has to keep what you say confidential. It's obvious it's something you regret, feel guilty about, and has your self esteem knocked down. I'm sorry your going through this. I lived in regret for years, and all it did was tear me apart. Don't make that choice for yourself, of not getting help, I waited for years to get help, it was not a good road to go down.

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