i feel trapped like there no way out to this misery..

[momLA18]

i have suffers from depression and anxiety since i started high school. i pictured life differently, not like this. my life has always been lonely , and with disappointments. when is it going to be my turn to be happy and full of life ?!. everyone in my life right now are just toxic, from my baby's father to my own family. if it wasn't for my son i prob would have already committed suicide. he is the only hope i got left in me. its hard being a single mom. with no social life or support. i have always dreamed of working as a flight attendant and just travel meet people. or move to another state and start a new life. when it comes to my love life i lost hope. I've never experienced real love. all I've dealt with was men who just used me. always felt like i was never good enough for anyone. my depression is so bad now that i struggle with falling asleep at night and sleeping my days away. i stay up at night just overthinking about everything and how i could of done things differently. i eat my feelings away and when i feel drained i don't eat at all. I've thought about driving of a bridge almost every day i get off work. but the only thing that stops me from it is my son .

[Coloradowalker]

You will pull out of this for YOU first and then for your son. Loving yourself will be the start of feeling better. Try to identify your strengths, your interests, your goals. Realize that this isn’t going to come from someone else and that there is help out there. You deserve it and it will get better❤️

[momLA18 in reply to Coloradowalker]

Thank you so much for , your kind words . I really felt the need to let it all out there . I’m working on myself and just trying different ways to get threw this ! ❤️❤️

[Tbine]

Hello,. Me and my wife had hit rock bottom when we found ourself sleeping outside on a piece of cardboard. Suicide had entered our thoughts from time to time because we both never dreamed we would be homeless. And then we began to pray. To make a long story short, we were delivered out of that ONLY by the grace of God. Neither one of us were religious before this happened. And i understand your probably skeptical about this subject like most people, but we are living proof that when you find God, and make him part of your daily life a true friend who is always there for you. Just BELIEVE with your whole heart and be Persistent in seeking his help, he will . God sometimes puts us in these situations so we can find him through our adversity. Especially when all else and everyone has failed you. I hope you will consider this.

[momLA18 in reply to Tbine]

thank you. Glad you are in a better position. definitely will consider it . I am not religious but I do believe in god. ❤️❤️

[Junella in reply to Tbine]

Wow! A wonderful testimony. Don't let go of your faith; practice it every moment.

[Tbine in reply to Junella]

I do. I now put Jesus first before anything because I've come to the realization that "true" happiness and a feeling of security and fulfillment that nothing else could provide to me in this life, can only be found by finally discovering this truth. Before this, i tried to find happiness and fulfillment in so many things and always ended up disappointed and searching again. Thank You for your comment, my testimony is all very true, but what i wrote is only a small part of the whole thing.

[Joy1284]

I am on the same page as you. I did attempt to take mine and when it failed, I was sent to the psych ward. I’m about to start my therapy today with a therapist. I still feel the same way. I went to church yesterday and asked God to set me straight with my purpose. I don’t know what else to cling to. I really hope we both find our path and remember our purpose as mothers, we can’t be replaced. I’m sending you a virtual hug and pray you find peace.

[momLA18 in reply to Joy1284]

Thank you. I hope therapy helps you find your way out. Ik it’s going to take awhile for me to heal from this chapter in my life. And we both deserve peace in our minds . ❤️

[froggymom88]

I'm so sorry your family doesn't give you the support and love you need at this time but don't give up! It is true you must first love yourself before you can help others and since God has created you in love with purpose ; He will help you and guide you if you turn to him. I have found this to be true in my own life when I was at my worst and ready to end it all. I cried out to Him and asked for his help if He was really there. That surrender to Him was the start of my transformation .Jesus said, " come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. " Matt11: 28-30 . Trust in Him. Prayers and hugs.

[momLA18 in reply to froggymom88]

Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️

[Junella]

Yes, this is all good advice here. A spiritual life is so important, and I think those of us who experience these feelings of depression are blessed when it leads to a closer relationship with God. Even in the worst of times there is the awareness that you are not alone. You will also see answers to prayer even in small things. Sometimes I will see a beautiful bird at just the right time. I am a Christian so I read a daily devotional book called "Jesus Calling." It seems to speak to me everyday; I think the lady who wrote it must have experienced these feelings as well. I also find Byron (can't remember the last name) book called "The Work" very helpful and the four questions she tells us to ask ourselves. These are both available through Amazon.

Ruminating on the past and future is a giant problem in depression and anxiety. Staying in bed just prolongs it. Exercise, exercise every day and have a healthy diet of beans, fruits and vegetables, do relaxing exercises with deep breathing, get regular sleep. Avoid disturbing TV and reading. All these things can help pull you out of the black hole.

If you are not used to praying, it is just like talking with a friend who understands and loves you. It can be done throughout the day and in the am and at bedtime.

[KMarti19]

Please please try to find a friend you can talk with. Please we need friends who care!!!