Is there anyone like me i guess

[Kurtravis]

I've been reading stories on this page and I guess I felt it be more fair to share briefly why I'm here. To start I'm in my mid-20s and have had depression since I guess about 16 things start getting bad. I used to cut myself almost every single day unfortunately with more than once. Had an accident where I lost my temper with an old relationship she left the room and I cut my leg open to the point where it was white. That was the last time I've ever made that mistake and I've came a very far away since. The thought necessarily doesn't go away but I'm a lot stronger now. But as my days go on I feel like I came so far and yet I guess the lack of being able to share with anyone is slowly making me feel more empty in a way different way. I've came far enough to know but the world doesn't have to be so ugly and yet I can't help but still look at it that way I know there are things in this world that can be beautiful but I truly lost my color to life but I just keep swimming. I guess if anyone else thinks the same it could be nice to talk about

[Kelkel5891]

I completely understand the lack of support and how that can seriously suck. I try to think of it like, I'm not getting better for anyone but for me and to make me happy and maybe then I'll attract more people who I can share my happiness with

[Kurtravis in reply to Kelkel5891]

Thank you for the advice. I do try to think like that and I do agree it does lift your spirits sometimes and makes everything fun, but self happiness I guess feels boring to me when I dont get to Express myself like I used to with someone.

[MariaLove123]

Hi Kurtravis I’m glad you’re sharing on here. Keep sharing because it sounds like you’ve been bottling things up. That’s not fair for you. Talk to any family or friends, a therapist or psychiatrist. It’s important to have a support group. We lose interest in things when we allow our illness to take over. It’s important to breath and tell yourself this is temporary. Your body went through some trauma and it’s just healing right now. And that’s okay. Lots of hugs 🤗

[Kurtravis in reply to MariaLove123]

Thank you. I wasnt so sure about putting really anything about my life anywhere but I guess that's my downfall so I figured I'd try something different by finding this page it does make me smile a bit more and know that maybe I can help people to. Even if I'm not fully back together so to speak I have came a far way and do have advice for those battles in itself.

[MariaLove123 in reply to Kurtravis]

Feel free to talk anytime. We are all here to support each other. It’s a really great site to share 😊

[hopeful0907]

Hi , Thanks for sharing and reaching out. It is so important to let others in so they can encourage you to keep moving forward. Some days the world seems so dark, but I have come to see that the bright days far outweigh the bad ones. I am glad to hear you no longer cut yourself, that is awesome! Keep reaching out and if things are starting to get you down more and more would you be willing to speak with someone close to you about what you are going through? If you don't have anyone like that would a support group be something you would find helpful? Listening to others share their stories helps to bring us up and it offers us the support and accountability we need when we go through rough days. I know a support group has really helped me in the past. Nice to meet you, keep your head up.

[Kurtravis]

Thank you all for the comments it really does mean a lot. And thank you for your kind words it's a battle I take very proudly that I've overcame. Over the recent times ive been opening up more to my friends. They were always aware but it never came from my mouth to many times. My family was supportive through the darker times when I would hurt myself but now the reasons why I'm sad I feel like I can't justify enough to not feel pathetic/weak to tell them how lonely and empty I am because they know how great I'm doing in life so why should there be a problem is I guess how I look at it. Therapy wasnt exactly for me. The first time I tried it I was about 17 and it just felt like an interrogation with no compassion. Years later around 20 I thought maybe I was closed minded and tried again and on my 2nd appointment my therapist was on her phone talking to her mom about her new siding part of the time and later cut it short to immediately call her back. It actually crushed me and just felt like I was paying a friend to talk to. I am trying to still keep an open mind through my days though so I will try to take any advice given and think differently.

[hopeful0907 in reply to Kurtravis]

Goodness, please know that not all counselors are that way and there are excellent support groups that can help. As far as feeling weak because your life is going well and there shouldn't be an issue, the truth is, depression does not care if things are going well or not, it will come whenever it wants. So keep reaching out, it is not about things going a particular way but rather what is going on inside of you that matters. Depression does not discriminate but you are overcoming it and will continue to do so. I found some helpful advice in this recent podcast " The Darkness of Depression" (#9 on the list) I found at bit.ly/2mFxWoz when I was dealing with a tough time with depression. Hope it helps, hang in there, and know you are NEVER alone.

[PapaDocs]

Its great that you are sharing your story and sentiments, Kurtravis. We are designed to be in a community. No man really is an island. We need to bring out our feelings and we hunger for friendship, love and affirmation. It is great also how you survived your earlier episodes and you should always consider them as hard lessons and reminders. I just want to chime in and give my kudos to the great advice and comments these people are giving here. A lot of people are really depressed because they have no one to share their concerns with. I hope that you keep posting here and getting support from this great forum.