I don't know how to love myself

[dark-laur]

Have you ever felt like you're not enough for yourself? I don't know how to explain, but I need someone to fill the void I have inside myself, even though I know that I should be enough for myself

I have this feeling that I won't be able to be fully happy if I don't find the right person

[Ashleigh429]

EVERYDAY!! I have no idea how to do this, how to just be happy with myself. It causes an empty aching feeling that never goes away. I also think this is part of the reason I pick poor partners...if they can just take that ache away, even for just a little bit, I latch on.

[dark-laur in reply to Ashleigh429]

It is not easy, but I try to change with small attitudes, remembering that I should do things that please me and not others, put me first in certain situations.

It's a work in progress, but I think that recognizing that we should be enough for ourselves and not depending on the approval of others is a start.

I hope you find your way and be happy with yourself

[Agora1]

Hi dark-laur, I'd like you to watch this video and really take in what they are saying. I think it will give you a starting step forward with something to work on. Good Luck Stay Positive xx

Go to YouTube and type in "How to Build Self Confidence" by Michelle Phar

Made just for you and others like you that are going through some self doubt. xx

Let me know what you think after watching it several times. And do take notes

[dark-laur in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much! I'll try to keep this in mind and bring it into my daily life

[Agora1 in reply to dark-laur]

I'm glad to hear that. I'm here to support you and see you through this.

You can do this

Remember if you need something to believe in, start with yourself.

[Vonnah]

I 1000% relate to every word you said. Never loved myself and noticed it around age 12. That's when things started to change for me. I felt different and didn't put in effort to how i looked and dressed. Then in high school i got bullied and got called ugly almost every single day. I really hated myself i wanted to really stop going to school. I hate my face. It's too late to apologize. I'm 20 and still stuggle. Wonder if i will ever love myself and feel like i will be this broken forever. I have no friends. And never had a real true genuine friend at that. No family members understand.

[dark-laur in reply to Vonnah]

I'm sorry you had to go through this, it's really hard and I admire your strength. If people were more understanding and kind, the world would be a better place; I hope those who made you feel bad have learned from their mistakes and I hope you can see that you deserve your love more than anyone else.

I hope you're okay, I'm sending you good energies ❤

[Vonnah in reply to dark-laur]

This was the sweetest and most thoughtful comment. Thank you so much and i appreciate it! ❤ i hope we both learn how to love ourselves someday. Hopefully soon. We deserve love and kindness. We all do here. 😄💪

[cassie5 in reply to Vonnah]

Bullies are so insecure they need to put down people to make themselves feel better. I have started schools many times and I was always for want of a better word a popular girl. But I’d never be unkind to anyone, I always befriended the quieter people, cheered people up when they were homesick and never judged. And those people some say are boring but when you get to know them and they come out of their shell that have truly amazing qualities. I do find it important to surround yourself with good friends, not to let yourself be taken advantage of and that’s hard especially if you were a people pleaser but it’s important to give your friendship unconditionally to those who give back. I read once to think of your friends like radiators and drains. Find out which ones emit warmth and comfort, that lift your spirit. And discover those who drain you, who bring you down to relieve themselves. Not Once I did that I never missed people I purposely lost touch with. People who I knew had said bad things about me, friends who stole from and used me for what I had. And I had friends who never wanted me for anything other than me. Even when I changed and became a little darker when things in life took its toll on me. The important thing is to put yourself out there, even if is just to say hi. Join some activities/clubs or go to parks. You won’t be broken forever. There are good people out there, you just have to sort the radiators from the drains.

[Vonnah in reply to cassie5]

That was very inspirational👌 i appreciate that. Now i see things differently. You worded that perfectly. I don't feel bad about the people i lost in touch with either. They were never a friend anyways. Being bullied can have long term effects on a person. I just have to figure out how i can overcome it all with therapy. I just don't know. In time, i will join some clubs hopefully.

[cassie5 in reply to Vonnah]

Phew I though I lost track of my point! In the moment you feel hatred and victimized but later all you feel is pity for bullies. Respect and trust are not gained by intimidating people.

[applesforever2020]

Hi! I HAVE THE EXACT SAME FEELING! I can 100% identify with you. So many people tell me flippantly that I should just learn to be ok with myself and not think about finding anyone who will love me for who I am. It is not that easy. When you feel unlovable, the only thing you crave is someone who will validate you and accept you. You are not alone. I also have that void that I feel I need to fill. I just worry that so many people of my generation will not be able to deal with me because they do not like anything complicated and most just look for a good, easy time. I am actually seeing a counselor to help me get to the root of my problems and start to work past them and accept myself. Hopefully in time I will get there. So please know you are not alone!