I don't know how to explain how I'm feeling

[Frub]

I don't know what I'm feeling. No matter what I do, I can't feel good these days. I can't feel happy. My head hurts even while writing this. I want to feel good about myself, and about things that are happening to me, but I simply can't. It feels like my head will explode. I have no one to talk to, atleast no one who would understand the way I'm feeling. I have distanced myself from my friends, and only have my girlfriend to talk to. Though I don't quite know if she knows whether I'm okay or not. I put up a happy face every day, because I don't want to be the person who always needs support, but I don't know for how long I can pretend to be happy about myself. I need help. I need people to talk to. I feel like my head will explode.

[gajh]

Have you talked to a doctor yet? I am not going to try to diagnose you or anything, but if you are suffering from depression medication and/or therapy might help. I have depression and talking with people here definitely helps too. You are not alone.

[Frub in reply to gajh]

Hi gajh!

I haven't spoken to a doctor yet, but I have tried therapy. I'm willing to try another therapist though, if my situation doesn't get better. For now, replies from kind people like you, have been helping me out.

I really appreciate it.

Thanks for telling me that I'm not alone.

I hope you too are keeping well. If not, you have a friend in me!

Kind regards!

[AstroInNewMexico]

I am feeling a little like you. I don't want to wear out my friends' good nature by talking too much about my anxiety and depression. I am trying to "fake it til I make it" but how long can that go on? I'm sorry to hear you've distanced yourself from your friends; maybe they miss you and are wondering how you are doing. I'm glad you have your girlfriend to talk to. I agree with gajh that probably talking to a doctor is a good idea. For me I find that going for long walks can help clear my head when the anxiety gets overwhelming...

[Frub in reply to AstroInNewMexico]

Hey! Thanks for the reply, it really helped! I'm sorry that you too are going through something similar. My friends too are going through a lot right now and are seeking therapy. Plus it doesn't always seem fair to tell people how you're feeling. It's like adding more trauma to their pre existing trauma.

For now, music helps. I play a few instruments and sing fairly well, so that has been aiding me.

I have also started journalling and that has been helping as well! Maybe this is something you too can try?

If this doesn't get better though, I for sure will seek therapy. Don't want to be suffering this way.

I hope you too find the courage to get through this. I'm here if you ever want to talk. My DMs are always open.

Cheers, dear friend!

[NanCeder5]

You are definitely not alone. I am also one of those people who suffers silently and tries to put on a happy face for people around me, while meanwhile my insides feel like they are eroding away. I also don’t want to be a burden on other people and be a downer all the time because I feel like in recent times it’s been one thing after another with me, and it’s never been like that before but life throws you a lot of different things sometimes all at once. I don’t have a lot of people who really understand where I’m coming from anyway, so no one to talk to like you’d mentioned. I tried therapy, but after the first couple of months I honestly kind of just felt like the person was telling me what I wanted to hear and what would make me feel good, but I didn’t feel like I was getting anything out of it. I’ve tried therapy off and on for several years, at the end of the day it’s just not within my budget right now, especially where I felt I wasn’t getting much from it other than a paid listening friend. I’m more than open to it, but unfortunately I haven’t found that person that I click with. I hope you find that person!!