Feeling and being judged

[vanessi]

For so much time I've been judge and criticised for my way of thinking and the way I see my life.

I wonder why? Why people come across to me with same arguments

Why I just don't get over it?

I will find someone else.

It's so immature suffering for a breakup

Don't give him so much power on you

He is enjoying his life while you are suffering

I wonder why? Why I have to get over my feelings, I already know my relationship is over but I'm not allowed to keep my love, I'm not allowed to feel bad? Sometimes I think why people really don't take serious the feelings of other.

So because my relationship is over I need to replace my feelings and force myself to love someone because I can't be all my life crying a love that is gone. So what is love for people, something than can be changed in a couple of weeks? For me it is different, there many different ways of love. Love for family, can it be replace?

Love for friends, can It be replace?

Love for a man or a woman, can that be replace? If it is replaced was it truly love? That is how I think

One thing is I love him and the other thing is I keep with my life.

If he is enjoying his life, meeting people is ok, congrats for him but I won't do the same if I don't feel it just cos he is doing it

At the moment I haven't found that peace but doesn't mean my feelings will ever change

That is what people cheat, some people don't take relationships very serious. In my case when I decide to be with someone is cos i am willing to have that person for the rest of my life that is why I try to be careful but I fail.

I'm sorry for being that hard, I'm not saying all people is like that but almost every day I listen to same, it's a bit tiring

[Agora1]

vanessi, I haven't been saying much in response to your posts, but believe me I have read each and every one of them. You are absolutely right in that falling in love with someone is such a personal experience. There is loving someone and then there is falling in love. Two different intense meanings. When we fall in love we give our hearts totally to another person. If it's given back in return we are blessed. I once read that Physical Attractions are common but a real mental connection is rare. If you find it hold onto it.

Losing that love in your life is a grieving process that no one can put a time limit on. No one can replace what the heart feels. You need to do what you have to do in order to get through this. Heartbreak, tears or just moving motionlessly in life is a way that you may personally grieve. People mean well, I think most of the time we are at a loss as in what to say to comfort someone. Even at a funeral, the wrong things can be said or interrupted wrong by the loved ones. Grieving is personal and so is a one true love.

If somehow hanging on to these memories allows you to survive, then I support you. Take the steps that you need in healing. As I've always said on this forum, we take the support that others offer us and leave the rest behind. We have the right to pick and choose what we need at the time.

You are a remarkable young woman. xx

[vanessi in reply to Agora1]

We were not only attracted physically, we were connected mentally, we used to talk about people who didn't want to be together and we felt so lucky we found each other.

Now I'm struggling I said it is not only a breakup, now I am dealing with my mom, I'm fed up of living at my parents, sometimes I can't find peace here, she is always moody and we fight all the time. She's been a great support and I love her but I simply cannot keep living here. This is was one of the things that affect me, I was not gonna live with her anymore when I was gonna move, now i am stuck here, and the worst thing is I cannot move to somewhere else because I haven't found and full time job yet and I don't earn so much

[Agora1 in reply to vanessi]

Vanessi, I hope you find that full time job which will allow you to gain your independence and venture out on your own. The time will come when it's right for you. xx

[vanessi in reply to Agora1]

Thank you

[Agora1 in reply to vanessi]

xx

[melbrown in reply to Agora1]

Agora1 that is such beautiful & thoughtful advice.

[StrongMom]

Sounds like you need to surround yourself with different people who will be more supportive and healthy for you in the long run.