Hey! I am new here. I am from India, living in Germany for nearly five years now. I was diagnosed with depression few years back, I was having suicidal thoughts so I was hospitalized for few weeks and was prescribed antidepressants till last year. I am on psychotherapy as well, until now. I have been having suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager. Now, I am far away from family, I am single and I have no friends here. I literally don't have a single person to even grab a coffee with. I go to work, come home and cry myself to sleep, the days just go by like this. I hurt myself whenever I am very down and couldn't handle my emotional pain, I have been doing this ever since I was a teenager. My parents and family back home doesn't know about my problem, it is cultural they just think I am being over sensitive and dramatic. I tired online app for friend finder and even dating but it all ended in vain. I just hate myself just more and more as days go. I feel like I can't live my life like this and I just want to just get out of this. I am really fighting with my suicidal thoughts.
I joined this community to talk to someone who would understand how I feel.