Why is my dad like this? Any thoughts?

Long-ish post, if you have any advice or thoughts, they would be most welcome🙂

Im in my 30s and still feel like my dad tries to control my life. I say I’m going to do something ie once I get another full time job again after I lost mine because of the lockdown I will be buying my own place, he thinks I can’t cope......eh I’ve lived on my own for years but always rented, I had to move back to my parents because of mainly financial reasons and a little to do with my mh. He is the only person that thinks I won’t cope, but he doesn’t even know me very well, he has never tried to. Everyone that knows me really really well disagrees with him. He’s always been like this with me, he treated me like I’m a child, here is examples:

- He gets really annoying if I buy something for myself, obviously with my money.

- He gets really angry if I have my own opinion that doesn’t agree with his.

- He gets angry and annoyed if I talk in general mainly if I talk a bit louder (I naturally have very quiet voice).

- When I’m in the shower he turns it to cold (he can do that with putting on the kitchen hot tap).

- When I told him I was raped he told me to “get over it”.

These are only some and most of these happened when I was young as early as 4 or 5 years old. I’m not trying to make out like I’m a victim of any kind but I just wonder why he is like this towards me. Any thoughts?

[Bella97CA]

Sounds like a control issue. So sorry your going through this! My previous partner was very controlling so I can kind of relate to this.

-Bella

[Hidden in reply to Bella97CA]

Thanks x

[PT81]

Sounds like you are walking on eggshells around your dad. I don’t know why he acts like he does or why he seems to be so controlling. Hopefully, you can find ways to make your situation livable while keeping yourself safe and maintaining your self worth. Then you can move out and see him on your terms. Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to PT81]

Thank you x

[saracar]

Wow. That sounds mean. It must be difficult to put up with. Don’t know why. But this has no reflection on you.

[Hidden in reply to saracar]

Thanks x

[Hidden]

Yes it’s difficult to deal with and my psychologist is dumbfounded by why he is like that to just me.