My happy life is now a horrible nightmare

[Endlessnightmare]

In 2001 I meet the man of my dreams he was kind, loving and supportive he not only accepted me flaws and all he loved me, his every action showed me that he completely understood me. In 04 we had a beautiful wedding with all of our friends and family and in 07 we had a beautiful baby girl who we both adored. he loved her every bit as much I did, when she was 6 we had our second daughter our lives were so happy. We owned our home and both had good carriers our daughters were happy and healthy he was their soccer coach, their swim team coach, he was even the dance school dad! in June of 2015 he had surgery (nothing serious) while he was home recovering a woman knocked on my front door. She was older and unkempt (no teeth and obvious IV drug user from the looks of her arms) I told my daughters to go their room as I opened the door. My entire life came to end that afternoon. Almost every thing I knew about my husband was a lie. He had been living a double life for years he was addicted to methamphetamine and living with a prostitute. some of his friends (mutual friend) knew, he told them I was verbally abusive and he had to escape from his miserable life with me! I am still confused, devastated, lonely at times... I will never understand how someone could fake an entire life for years. I was a loving, devoted wife and mother I am not the one who lied and cheated and no matter what horrible lies he says about me or to me nothing can change the truth. I am just now Divorced and trying to rebuild my life, I lost every thing that I thought was important. The only thing that really matters is my two precious little girls who still cry for their daddy and have a mommy who does her best to battle the depression and anxiety that overwhelms me still

[Southernchick]

Endless nightmare. First of all think thank you to the old ugly prostitute. Sounds crazy right. The kicker is she saved you many many years of lies deceit. It would have come out sooner or later.

Your girls are young and I'm hoping the emotional setbacks and scars will heal easier. Imagine if they were in their teens.

I know this is so difficult. You sound like a reasonable person.

Hold your head up. Make a great life for you and those babies.

Do not let him his actions drag you down. You all deserve more.

Count your blessings those girls need you.

Realize with his drug use you three were in danger. The things that could have happened are endless. Diseases violence squandering future away. Even possible

death.

You are not to blame. You can not beat yourself up with what if'S.

Did you have employment already. If not that will be a little stressful. You more than likely won't be able to depend on him for child support. He most likely will hit rock bottom.

You can not afford to feel sorry for him. You can't heal him. Taking him back would be a poor option. You have you and girls to consider.

Somewhere deep inside you is the strength and courage to overcome your shattered illusion.

My heart goes out to you.

Don't be afraid to seek help for you and girls.

Here for you.

[Southernchick]

Hi How are you doing. I read somewhere it can take six to eight months to get over an emotional rollercoaster like you had. I'm so hopeful you are concentrating on yours and the girls futures. They are only little once. You surely don't want to miss any of that precious time worrying or thinking about someone who did not respect and cherish you guys

[vanessi]

I am so sorry, I have never been through that situation and sounds awful that the person you love, your partner and your best friend was living a second life with another woman and even worse being addicted to drugs. We never finish knowing the person who is sleeping next to you.

I have no so much to say or give you an advice but what I really believe is you have to be so strong for your 2 little girls, and be so brave. You did right divorcing cos you don't know what else could have happened.

Have you checked yourself? It is hard to say but sexually you were not the only woman and if he was sleeping with a prostitute and also getting high you cannot know who else the woman or he was sleeping too.

I send you a big hug and many blessings for you 3. Be brave and stay strong.

[AwakenedExistence]

It sounds like an truly unimaginable situation. Hard for anyone to understand or relate to. I can't say how sorry I am that you had to go through this. I know you'll make it through. divorce will take you a long time to move past and depression and anxiety is normal with all that you have experienced. It will affect your daughters to see this and I know that must be so hard for you. I know it may seem "obviously" but maybe do a little writing exercise. Just write out all the feelings that you had about the situation, on that day you found out. Write what it made you feel about your marriage, your husband, and yourself. How did your feelings change toward yourself through all this?? Getting to the deep root of your emotions will help you to heal them where they began. And also, after all that, write what you hope for the future. What do you feel right now, and what do you want to feel in the next 6 months? What do you want your daughters to feel and experience? What do you want their relationship to be like? Heal the past so that you can look forward. And most Importantly, remember that things will get better. And they will if you want them to! You can get through this, you have already made huge strides. And you are a strong person, a good mom, and you will make it back to happiness.