My life is a mess

[Dolphfan47]

Well my life is seriously a mess and at this point I just want to curl up in a ball and just give up. I have had it with ny husband and his childish ways first he wants a dmstupid bitch to move in he says it’s for the money. Yeah okay he says I only wanna have sex with her once a week. She is sleeping down in our basement because she is paying rent and our bed is not big enough, No one on ones with her. I promise. No cuddling with her on the couch..? The bitch comes over this weekend he cuddles with her on the couch, wakes up this morning wants a one on one with her than has the audacity to say I am gonna want her more than once a week. But he doesn’t tell me oh no he tells wife number 2…. I am so done with all of this he is taking back all his promises.. Last night he says if work picks up he wants to buy a bigger bed so she vm can fit in our bed we just bought a king size bed.. like what the hell he says doesn’t have feelings for her but I think he does and it makes me sick to my stomach because this chick is nice but no one is home upstairs…. She is easily controlled.. I am so done

[Agora1]

Hi Dolphfan47, I'm assuming that is you in the picture next to your username.

You are a beautiful young woman in the prime of her life wasting these years.

Your husband is playing with fire in so many ways. There has to be another way

to make money to help with the bills. Does he ever think down the line of what

may happen if he is no longer able to perform? There are no guarantees in life.

Sickness, accidents do happen. Who will be there then? I would think it will only

be you. Someday, he will realize the mistake he made and will find himself alone.

You are too good for this man. He is living out his fantasy by dragging you through

the mud. You don't deserve that. I worry about you Dolphfan because I care xx

[Dolphfan47 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you he says he will never stop having sex because that’s why they make pills. He will always be performing.. The bills are not that serious he’s just using this girl as a way to get back at the second girl because when he got involved with the second one she game in with a lot of baggage. The second girl can’t stand the third girl so he’s dojng it out of spite he even said so himself in not so many words. I’m just the one who is the innocent bystander in all of this because we have a child together and he pretty much cut me off from all my family and outside resources. As I said in a previous response where I live is very limited resources and the money that we had saved he took and put in another account that only he has access too. So that’s why I just want to give up because I feel like there is nothing out there no lawyer willing to to talk to without paying them up front. Just no escape.

[Agora1 in reply to Dolphfan47]

Hi Dolphfan, we can never say never since Life can change on a dime. The thing is

are you willing to wait or give up before then? You have a child that needs the stability

that it sounds like only you can give. I will agree that you are pushed into a corner by

this man who seems to have control over every aspect of your life. He's got you right

where he wants you. How to free yourself and your child from this lifestyle...I still do

not have any answers unfortunately. Keep reaching out to this community and maybe

just maybe someone will give you the key to unlock this situation that you are in.

Have you in my thoughts. I'm sorry xx

[MaineOtter]

I hope you find the help you need!

Pray to Heavenly Father for help. He loves you and wants to hear from you.

[sotired67]

Hi DolphFan47,

Based on your initial post, it sounds like your being taken for granted by a man that seems to forget the ground rules for relationships.

I'll wait for your reply before making practical suggestions about how to deal with this situation that is evidently and naturally making you feel insecure, frustrated and stressed.

I hope that the other comments from fellow posters will help to keep you going through this trying and unjust situation.

Best wishes to you from Trevor in London.

[Dolphfan47 in reply to sotired67]

Hey I don’t think he ever knew what a normal relationship was ever really like… I am just so numb to everything it’s not even funny on top of everything we have a child together who gets to witness all of this. I know everyone says to run but when you live in an area that has limited resources and I have no family to help. See why I wanna just give up?

[catsrock]

All I can say is, run! Start doing whatever you can to get out of this horrible situation.

[CLB1125]

What??? Are you a polygamist family? I don't want to disrespect you, if you are. But....if you aren't and it was me, I would tell him you can have every night of the week because you are now sleeping in the basement with her. and put a lock on the bedroom door. He is disrespecting you. you deserve better than that. Think about your children. We are here for you

[Dolphfan47 in reply to CLB1125]

I guess he thinks we are.. not something I signed up for when I met my husband. He said the reason he got with the second girl is because I turned away from him sexually. The only reason I did that was because he made me feel less than nothing he slept with so many people right after my pregnancy…. He made me feel like I wasn’t no one.. but of course he blames me for it all.. he than brought the first home wrecker in got her pregnant not once but twice trying a third time.. now this third chick is asking to get pregnant my anxiety is through the roof I can’t take it anymore.. I am just about done I feel like I have failed my son.. I feel like the worst mother out there.. I am seriously wondering if I would be better off dead..

[CLB1125]

your son needs you! I wish I had answers for you. If you are in the us go to your dept of health and human services. They may have some resources to help you. Check with your court clerk, they may know of services for someone in your situation. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. I will tell you something, I have health problems and can't have sex without pain. My husband hasn't blamed me or went and found it somewhere else. And it's been over 2 years. I'm being mean but his ego has exceeded his brain! When you feel like giving up just think of that little boy. Be strong for him, and come here to us when you feel weak.

[Dolphfan47 in reply to CLB1125]

I know my son needs me that’s really the only thing that keeps me going but I am wondering how much longer.. I love my son more than anything he was actually my miracle baby because I had him when I was 43 years old and it was a very healthy pregnancy given my age.. I only gained 9 pounds with him the entire 9 months.. he is suffering in his own way and it hurts my heart because he won’t talk to me. We tried to leave once before but my husband took all our money and forced me back.. promising me that things would get better. Unfortunately things are only getting worse.

[Hidden in reply to Dolphfan47]

I agree with CLB1125’s advice to you 100%. Can you talk to someone at your social services department regarding legal aid in your area.? You need legal advice as to how to protect your money and your son and at least implement some type of plan of action. That’s where my focus would be, not on the girlfriends. He doesn’t deserve your concern as he’s obviously not concerned about you. Your son’s views on relationships and boundaries are being forever formed by the examples of his parents. This is (or will be) a heartbreaking reality for him I’m sure. Does your husband not understand how this might affect your son? I hope you can get out of your situation sooner rather than later. I would be running for the hills so fast!! I admire your strength in being able to live under these circumstances. Hope you find the answers you need. You deserve better.

[CLB1125]

In our area we have a place called caring house. It’s a safe house for abused women and men who need to get away from their home. They provide a safe place to stay and provide food clothes toys and they don’t tell anyone you are there. There’s no charge to stay there. They help you find resources like job interviews and a place to live. Maybe there’s something like that in your area. Because what he’s doing is abuse. To you and your son. I so much want to help you. Stay strong. The answers will come. We are here to support you.

[Dolphfan47 in reply to CLB1125]

Hello I thought I responded back to you but for some reason my post is not here. We have a shelter here where I live but they don’t have any room so in am stuck in my current place. Which sucks but it is what it is.. I guess I will just have to make the most out of my current situation and just deal with it. Regardless if I am happy or not last night girl number 3 asked him if he wanted to get her pregnant because girl number 2 might be pregnant my anxiety is beyond manageable I lost it after I heard that. It’s not bad enough I had to deal with him getting girl 2 pregnant and him flaunting it in my face twice but now the 3 chick wants him to get her pregnant too!! Like seriously.. I’m so over everything. I am sorry to hear about your medical condition sounds like you have a wonderful husband.

[CLB1125 in reply to Dolphfan47]

call social services, they might have an emergency protocol for someone in your situation. He is trying to push your buttons by telling you all about #2 and#3. Punishment. He wants to be the king of the harem. If you don't play along he'll just keep rubbing your nose in it. How do these women treat you? and your son? Don't let him or them inside your head. Set your sights on getting your son and yourself out of there. Can you work or do you? get your own bank account and squirrel away money without anyone knowing. I know that's hard, but do whatever you can without him knowing. protect your mental health, for your son's sake. find a mantra that works for you. Let him keep talking so he doesn't beat you down, but all the while keep repeating the mantra to stay strong. You can find a way out of this and we will be here for you. don't give up!!!

[Dolphfan47 in reply to CLB1125]

No I am out of work on disability for several things.. my money is in a joint account that if i suddenly pulled it out he would know something is going on.. however I have another way to start making money it’s just gonna take a little longer but I am just gonna have to do it for me and my son…

[CLB1125]

as my mother would say nickel and dimes make a dollar. You will get there. Keep your eyes on the final outcome. Be safe