My Life

[Vonnie45]

I have been depressed my entire life. My school years were bad. ...lived same town went to same school for 18 years. I was considered poor town person compared to rich farmer's kid. Then marriage to first person, sisters brother in law, who claimed to love me but had problems of his own. Drinking alcohol. Had 3 children but he was gone most of time and we moved from one town to the next for the next 40 something years. I am a widow now and live with my bipolar gdaughter. She spends most of her time at her mothers' or boyfriend. I am left to myself. No friends and when I consider trying to make some I get scared of being hurt (I guess). So I am alone most days. Watch Tv and compute but still want more.....sometimes. What's wrong with me???

[countryboy1]

Have you seen a therapist? Mine helps me greatly!

[Vonnie45 in reply to countryboy1]

I have tried that in previous years but they always wanted to know what I think I should do. If I knew that I wouldn't need them.

[countryboy1 in reply to Vonnie45]

Oh my goodness, you sound so much like me!!! Lol, but I think they want is to decide what you want to do and not them directing you. They do help guide you. They have been very helpful to me over the years but you have to commit to going at least say 5 times.

[Lostjoy]

I’m sorry you are feeling so alone. I would give anything to be able to stay home and not have to work. I grew up poor also, but did pretty good through my 30’s and 40’s. Now lost it all and starting over in my 50’s. I really want to move to a trailer park where we can live cheaper and on my husband’s income but he is not having it.

I got a little off track, but I get to feeling alone at times also. You can message me anytime you feel like you want to talk. It’s good you are on this site talking about your feelings and issues.

Best wishes to you.

[Vonnie45 in reply to Lostjoy]

Thank you. If you have time I would love to communicate with you. But I don't want to bring you down.

[Hidden]

Nothing sounds wrong with you..What makes you think there's something wrong?..you know we just can't wave a magic wand..you may just have to put more effort in what you want..don't lose hope..

[Vonnie45 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. That helps.

[Vonnie45 in reply to Hidden]

I have thought that my whole life. Must be something wrong with how I communicate . I feel that no one ever hears what I say. And if they do what i say is usually wrong. I.e. it's snowing, no its not, it's only raining.

[Hidden in reply to Vonnie45]

Don't worry..I know exactly what you mean..that happens to me with my family..I don't care so much if it happens with friends, but with family?..they made me withdraw communications with them..now we don't communicate and when we do it all turns to anger..No communication, no love what so ever..they made me feel so wrong that I thought something is wrong with me..I know there isn't.. there is nothing wrong with you..change some habits and put effort in what you want..do anything..only you can help yourself...its ok..

[gogogirl]

Message ,me anytime.

[Vonnie45 in reply to gogogirl]

Thank you. Will do. It might help,.

[gogogirl]

It might help us both. I am here.