hello, I'm new..

[aileen75]

i'm not sure what to do , ive just discovered this i have had anxiety and depression on and off for most of my life, I'm 42 now, my oldest sister and best friend has terminal cancer, my mother doesnt know its terminal yey cause she has a weak heart, our family is very small and i live on the west coast and they on the east, i live alone and cannot sleep at all. i get home frpom work and start hyperventitlating until i can talk to someone if not i just start crying uncontrllably . my docter prescribed xanax today because i was a mess when she saw me, i have never taken medicationfor it ive used medical marijuana and its usually slightly helpful, but now it just freaaks me out more, at the moment im freaking out about the medication itself bevause i know how addictive they are and i have managed to stay away from prescribed meds... i dont know what wesle to say... i guess that too long of an introduction... i just want to stop crying every five minutes.

[Sunshine2018]

I hear you. I've also had anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember and really don't want to go on the meds. I'm worried I might need it though 😞I just found this page, too. I hope it can help us!

[aileen75 in reply to Sunshine2018]

its been so bad si=ince i found out about my sister and ive tried sleep teas ans stress teas and melatonin and nerve tonics and last night i had all of this and i still freaked out so im hoping i can sleep tonight. ive tried so hard to stay away from pills.i hope that we can find help it really is not a good way to live, i feel like im just starting to annoy people

[Sunshine2018 in reply to aileen75]

I feel the exact same way! My sister just told me yesterday that she's having trouble feeling empathy for me anymore. I wish this would just go away when it was convenient but it seems to be persisting long after it went out of style! 😂

I think with a little support we really can make it through!

I hear you on the pill front. I really wouldn't like to have to resort to them either.

[gogogirl]

So sorry about your sister. Life can be so unfair at times.

[aileen75]

it is indeed, im so scared my mom is going to die at the same time her heart is so weak, that basically leaves me with my other sister, my family is so small my father died when i was a baby so , i just feel like i have no support

my few friends are in happy points of their lives marriage, babies, etc, they dont even have a clue that every night im fighting to breathe

[Agora1]

aileen75, Try not to be so fearful of reaching out for help with a little short term medication. There is a time and a place for meds to help you through some rough spots. This is one of them. Therapy accompanied with the medication can help you achieve some peace and calm while you deal with the heartache you are going through right now with your sister, friend and mom.

As you reduce your stress some, look into other methods of reducing your stress. Meditation and deep breathing can help in putting you in a natural relaxed mode so that you can get a restful night's sleep and feel better in handling each day. Your crying jags right now are due to the overload of your overwhelming thoughts.

I would recommend doing meditation and deep breathing before bedtime, upon first waking up and again in the mid afternoon. 5-10 minutes is all you need to make you ready for the challenge of the day no matter what it brings.

Using this forum will be an additional support and understanding and safe place you can come to when in need. We care. You are never alone xx

[aileen75 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you, its been really hard , i usually practice both yoga and meditation. i also paint, but i havent been able to do any of my normal activities.i am trying to start the breathing again, i tried last night and was unable to without crying..im trying to keep it thank you so much,,, the alone part is the worst feeling ever..

[Agora1 in reply to aileen75]

aileen, I understand because I cried daily for 5 years straight. It wore me out emotionally as well as physically. I felt I was being pulled by a mother in a nursing home and an anorexic daughter. I was overwhelmed beyond belief. Don't give up, do whatever it takes that helps you. I found help in Meditation and use my deep breathing whenever life seems to give me more than I can handle.

My heart goes out to you. Please wipe your tears and know that I so understand the feeling, the loneliness you feel. Whether it's being separated from family by the miles between or feeling lonely because of how anxiety makes us feel, stay strong, stay positive. We are but a message away. xx

[aileen75 in reply to Agora1]

oh you know exactly how i feel, you poor thing i dont wish this on anyone... thank you for your words..