My wife has terrible anxiety and depression

[mybluedp]

My wife suffers from anxiety and depression. It seems like no matter what I do to try to help her, she always tells me that I am at fault for not helping her the way she needs help. I am at a loss of what to do. I hate to see her in pain so much, and it comes and goes without any warning, though she is often afflicted with it.

[Hidden]

Wow that’s great that you are asking for advice and really want to help your wife! If only all spouses could be so supportive. Is she on medication or in therapy? Asking to go with her to an appointment could be helpful. Or even separately. There are also support groups for spouses of people who suffer from depression and anxiety. Does she say how you can help her?

[mybluedp in reply to Hidden]

She did go to therapy for a while, but as soon as the doctor started taking medication she decided not to go back. It’s tough to bring it up with her because if I bring it up it isn’t a good time. But if I don’t bring it up, I am told I don’t care. So either way I am put down.

[Hidden in reply to mybluedp]

She isn’t willing to take medication, is she willing to go to continue therapy maybe with a different therapist? I didn’t believe I needed medicine at first either but then I tried it and it helped. Maybe if she goes to group therapy she can feel better about having to take medicine.

[mybluedp in reply to Hidden]

She goes back-and-forth on whether or not she wants to go to therapy and she thinks that I can make everything better and I would love to but I know that I can’t

[Hidden in reply to mybluedp]

Then maybe you should go to therapy or a support group for spouses of people with depression so that you can stay strong for her and maybe it will inspire her to take more proactive steps to get better. You also need to make sure you are Healthy.

[howard327 in reply to Hidden]

How about therapy together? There seems to be a communication problem between them.

[Windy101]

Is your wife getting professional treatment? She may be blaming you because you can't provide this level of help. It sounds like she needs to see her doctor for a thorough evaluation.

[Want2BHappy3]

Sorry I know it's hard to watch and not knowing what do to do for her. I'm in her place Let her tell you what she wants. Even that's hard? For sure one thing that will make it WORSE is telling her to get over it. My daughter said thought to iolatating me was a good idea...WRONG!!! If you have insurance call 911get her help

[mmcnail]

I'm in a similar situation with my husband. He is not medicated right now at all and it is very hard.

[kain-pnw]

I'm going though exactly the same thing! I just started learning about this. It's oddly comforting to know someone's experiencing the same thing as mine. It took me 14 years to realize that not all her problems are my fault as she said and not everything she said was actually true. I hope all of us get through this.