questioning

Am I the only person who has to understanding everything ? I can't just accept a simple answer, I have to always ask why.... If I don't understand it I continue to doubt it or question it...

[HearYou]

Wellllll......., there are questions and then there are QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS.....which can annoy the heck out of the people being asked even though one's anxiety demands to know. Everyone wants to feel safe with what one is told.

May need to learn to make distinction between what is important for you to know and what isn't. If you are a curious cat, you often can find out the answer yourself by doing a little research. Not a thing wrong with that.

If your anxiety is making you not trust the answer, maybe you are asking the wrong person. Or you need to start letting go and accept and trust the answer as sufficient and work on stuffing the anxiety were it belongs.

You didn't write if it were doctors or other people involved with your healthcare that you don't trust. If you really ask question, after question, after question about their answer or explanation, they would need to teach you everything they learned in medical school and in the practice of medicine. (But stay off Google if it relates to your health, ok?)

Don't think you meant that. Seriously, anxiety can make us be leery of trusting, and wanting to be in control, and so we feel compelled to be assured too much than reasonably required and/or know much more than we need in order to be ok.

[Hidden in reply to HearYou]

I stopped seeing a doctor I had so much going on in my life so I tried coping on my own but I have done nothing but make myself worse than I've ever been. the questioning issue I have I'm guessing is coming from having trust issues. I have problems letting people in. my husband and I constant battle because I question everything he says. I'm always worried about not being good enough or always feel something is wrong. I'm constantly telling myself to stop and just let it happen but my mind is always running. Yeah I Google everything lol makes me feel like a hypochondriac. I feel like my anxiety is at an all time high. Thank yu for the advice.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

I guess being curious is good if you want to learn something new- that is the curious I referred to but if you ask the same questions because of self doubt- then maybe anxiety or depression is kicking in- I understand believe me. If it's a memory issue let's say having to do with an appoinment- have yourself or someone else write something down and keep the info in a file. Been there also.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

I have been through some things relationship wise that has tramatized me and that's why I'm on a constant trip about self worth and questioning everything and yes in turn I make myself depressed and anxious.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

The good part I think is that you recognize this and at a young age yet. I still go through questioning, but also have experienced much pain and loss, and GUILT. It can be exhausting. Please message me anytime- you are not alone.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

Thank you so much. Definately is exhausting. I'm 26 and feel like I've been through so much trauma. I do reconzie my issues just dont know how to fix them.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

I am an old saw- and believe me as I look back I question some of my choices. I no I cannot go backwards to the what ifs- life can be tough sometimes. What is instead of fixing- you could say- I am enough , and I got through the day. I hope you have more support through friends, family and health care. Sometimes just knowing someone is there can be so much. You can privately message me also.

[HearYou in reply to Hidden]

Ohhh. What was the doctor doing for your anxiety? Were you on medication and now not?

About your husband, learned some time ago when working with men who didn't talk much, to occasionally ask "Are WE ok?" . At first they looked confused, and then I would say are "things ok between us?" that help ease my concern that maybe there was something wrong with my work or our work relationship.

I now do it with my husband who didn't think to hug me or tell me he loves me. So I now do that with him, and it works. Sometimes I'll just ask him if he's ok, or is everything ok with his work. Maybe some men just assume if all is quiet it means all is well.

[Hidden in reply to HearYou]

I use to be on meds but meds made me feel worse. I don't medicate now except smoking marijuana it helps for the most part and no side effects. my husband and I are constantly asking each other everything OK what's wrong almost 10x a day. Its like we both need reassurance. Mine is caused from trust issues and low self esteem feeling very insecure. Im a perfectionist and when I don't feel I'm succeeding I panic.

[HearYou in reply to Hidden]

Ok, so you two are asking the "we ok" question too often instead not often enough. But you say you argue a great deal. So perhaps the two of you can have a calm talk and set limits of asking. Or set a time of day or you to talk instead of always asking the question. Just ease off the gas pedal and hold back to see if that may work.

If you are having a great deal of anxiety and were taking meds, but self medicate with dope now, it appears that isn't working very well. Don't have much offer you in that regard other than ask if things were better when you were seeing a doctor instead of smoking and not taking meds.

The two of you may want to look at that.

What ever you decide to do, I wish you better days,less arguing and less anxiety. And there is always someone here.

Always.

[Hidden in reply to HearYou]

I have been smoking since I was 18 I am now 26. smoking is the only thing that helps me escape. the meds the doctor gave me made me worse I took meds when I was 16-17. Haven't since than. We don't argue really its more so reassuring ourselfs and each other. He tries to help me everyday. I struggle with a lot . I have been in some bad DV relationships that's have made me more alert and more scared. But at the end of the day no matter where my brain runs I know where I wanna be and my husband knows where he wants to do be and we have to trust each other with out fear. I have more issues with low self esteem, insecure, eating disorder. That gets me down the most. Thank you..

[gogogirl]

I think being curious is a good trait.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

Being curious has its pros and con's.