Anybody Out There?

I'm new and have never used a site like this before. I don't like to use words like depression or anxiety only because I have never been diagnosed, but I've taken all the tests I could find and read the symptoms over and over. I know I have both of them and I'm just really confused about it. I feel like I don't deserve to even consider that I have either of those because my life has been completely fine and there's nothing that could really cause me to be sad or doubting my life. I've heard so many stories from people with depression and mine doesn't even come close to what other people have been through. I guess I'm just looking for someone to relate to because the one person I would even consider talking to (my best friend) has had it so much worse than me but somehow they always manage to keep a smile on their face, but mine is beginning to fade even when they're around. Can anybody relate or give any advice on how to snap out of this foggy limbo?

[Hidden]

I totally get what ya mean. Over all my life is pretty good, and I have a lot of things to be thankful for. Nothing really traumatic has happened to me. I didn't/don't have the best circumstances, but they are pretty good compared to a lot of people's out there. I'm depressed and anxious anyways. There have been times when I've genuinely questioned my reasons to live, and all the things I have to be thankful for didn't help.

I'm still struggling so I don't really have any advice for you, but I just wanted you to know that lots of people are experiencing the same type of things and that you're not alone.

If you ever wanna talk you can message me.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Wow, that was a lot quicker than I thought. I really didn't think anyone would respond, but thank you. I really thought I was the only one, nice to know there are others.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You're welcome!

Usually it isn't that quick though, but your post was at the top of my feed and I sympathized with it. So if you make another post and you don't get any replies for a few hours to a few days it's normal.

[Pearl67]

Welcome!

Keep in mind there are a lot of things that inform anxiety and depression!!! Diet, genetics, hormones, underlying health condotions, lack of exercise, lack of meaning, and of course life’s tragedies and/or ongoing hardships. If it was all about life going fairly well, there would be a large population of people who “should” NOT have these conditions, but it simply not true.

There are great people here who will support you as you explore what could be the root of your issues and also those who will share what has helped them.

Anyone else in your family ever have a dance with a or d???

Again, welcome. This is a gentle and supportive place🤗

[Hidden in reply to Pearl67]

Thank you so much, I knew about some of those things on why certain people can get anxiety or depression, but I never really considered them. I guess because I always end up focusing on why I shouldn't have either of them and not why I could. This has definitely given me something to think about, thanks!

[Johanna4832]

Hi, I can definitely relate to how you feel cause I feel something similar. I really can't complain, I've got a family that loves and supports me, an amazing boyfriend, I get great marks at uni and have the freedom to do whatever I want. But that doesn't change the fact that I feel scared and numb and overwhelmed sometimes (yeah let's be real, a lot of the time lol).

Think of your mental health in the same way that you would think about your physical health. If you have a broken arm, you go to a doctor and get help. So if your mental health is suffering, you should do the same thing. There are always people that are worse off and I know that it can make you feel ashamed in a way, because they have it worse and seem to be handling it really well, whereas you are not struggling with as much and feel like you aren't handling it well. And it can impact whether you think you "deserve" to ask for help, that's how I feel sometimes anyway.

But if you are struggling and feel like you need help then please don't hesitate to get it. You have every right to receive help and you are just as important as other people, no matter whether you think they struggle more than you. Plus, you can't look into people's minds, they share what they want to share and you can never really know what's going on underneath.

I don't know if any of that could be considered advice or whether it was helpful or not, but I wanted to reply to your post cause I relate to what you said.

Wishing you all the best!

Johanna xx

[Hidden in reply to Johanna4832]

Thank you so much Johanna4832, that's exactly how I've been thinking lately (well for a while actually). That I don't necessarily deserve help and I'm pretty ashamed to be feeling this way when others have it so much worse or at least something horrible that caused it. I'm just really nervous because the only way to get help from a professional would be to tell my parents about this. They have no idea and I just can't say this stuff outloud. Typing it is fine, but actually saying it all outloud makes it so much more real.

[Johanna4832 in reply to Hidden]

It might be difficult to change your mind set, but you absolutely deserve help (if you want it obviously). How do you think your parents would react to you telling them? What do they think about mental health? Do you think they would want to help you get better?

If you can't say it out loud to them, maybe you could write it down instead? When I first started having panic attacks and anxiety in general I would sometimes feel so anxious and nauseous as a result of that that I couldn't speak. So I just typed whatever I wanted to say into my phone and showed it to my mum, instead of saying it out loud.

Maybe you could do that or write a letter to them. If you think that you really can't tell them or that they would make things wore for you, maybe there are other ways to get help. And maybe you should consider talking to your best friend, even though they've had it worse than you, they're still your friend and I'm sure they'd want to know how you really feel.

Obviously I don't really know your circumstances so I can only give you some advice and it's up to you to do what you think best.

How old are you btw?

Johanna xx

[Hidden in reply to Johanna4832]

I'm sixteen by the way. Last night I actually told my mom and it took a lot out of me. I knew she wouldn't react in a bad way and she was actually really cool about it. I know my dad wouldn't have a bad reaction, but he's the type of guy who is able to make jokes and laugh all the time. Like lighten the moment and everything, so being around him is usually funny and he's used to me smiling. So, telling him that I'm depressed might come as a shock and I've never seen him react in that way. I think I'm going to let my mom tell him actually.

I told her most of what's been going on and we talked about getting a therapist. I'm just glad it's out there and she at least knows. I think this site really helped me finally say it. I also went back and told my friend who was actually really happy I told my mom. I was going to block my friend out and not tell her anything, but I realized that probably isn't the best thing to do. Thanks, Johanna4832 and everyone else!

[Hidden]

Hi jay141: Depression and anxiety is not about what you have or don't have; not about how good or bad your life is going or the level of problems.

Clinical depression and anxiety are not choices and don't have to do with outside influences. They are a result of brain function.

[Anita_C]

Hi!

I feel the exact same way. I’ve never been diagnosed but symptoms match up. And I do have such a good life so I don’t understand why I feel this way. I would say just focus on things you like like reading or exercise because it keeps your mind off of the deeper harder questions you ask yourself.