I'm new to this site because I have never felt more alone. I feel like I am unable to let anyone in my life know my real struggles. I try talking to my boyfriend, but he doesn't understand the difference between being sad about something and depression. Friends are great and supportive but none of them understand. Family doesn't know anything about my depression or anxiety. I have to always act as if I am this fun-loving, outgoing and happy person all day everyday yet all I want to do is crawl into a small black hole of nothingness. Preferably this small black hole would be found on my bed, because I want to just stay in bed all day. It's like I'm leading two different lives, the real depressed me, and then the vivacious funny girl who's got it all together. It's exhausting and lonely. Does anyone else feel this way? I am at my breaking point and am afraid of this numbness that is starting to take over at this point. Numb can't be good.