first post here...

[thruhiker1990]

I changed jobs to try and do more of what I love - being in the wilderness and outdoors. I try and eat healthy and love to exercise/recreate outdoors all the time. I have a loving boyfriend. So why am I having all these problems? I just thought things would get easier as I got older. I thought I would be more mentally mature. But little things can turn into a downward spiral. I get so sad and depressed and I don't know what to do. I'll just start sobbing on the way home from work. Then I do yoga to try and relax. I want to be a mentally healthy person. I don't want to see a doctor, I don't want to take medication, plus healthcare is a scam and so expensive in the US. I've been able to manage my mood swings thus far. I have a history or mental illness in my family (mom & brother are both bipolar), so I've seen other's suffer and know I'm lucky to be more "normal." Any thoughts?

[hypercat54]

Hi I understand why you don't want to go the medical route but it's a sad fact with many of us that there is no choice if we want to get better. How about counselling? You can pay for this privately if you want and not have to go through a doctor.

If you reject meds and counselling though there is only the self help route left. Yoga is good and how about googling mindfulness. x

[thruhiker1990 in reply to hypercat54]

Thanks for the reply. I don't have the money to spend on counseling (even though I do have insurance). Though my work does off free, confidential counseling, I've thought about looking into it. Yes, my goal for 2018 is to try and do yoga more, I'll look into mindfulness.

I wish I knew more people who struggled with depression that I could talk to in-person. Glad I found this site.

[hypercat54 in reply to thruhiker1990]

Yes this is a good resource. It's funny but I rarely talked about my depression and still don't much, but when I have confided in friends I learnt there are many people suffering from it or have in the past. Or family or friends have.

Others can't understand it at all which is ok. I gently tell them a bit about it, remind them that it's real and it's a far cry from just feeling down sometimes. I don't push it though and sometimes have to agree to differ. x

[gogogirl in reply to thruhiker1990]

Maybe you could try NAMI the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I did a NAMI walk last Spring, and we are planning on doing it this year also. Who knows? They might have a group in your area!

[Hidden]

Hiya, sorry to hear about the difficulties you are experiencing. I understand your reluctance to see a doctor and take medication, though being in the UK, I have no knowledge how the healthcare system works in the US (although the debate about affordable healthcare in the US has featured a lot in the news here over recent months). The benefit of seeing a doctor/consultant would be to potentially help identify/rule out some possible causes of your health issues and maybe get a diagnosis. e.g. there may be some chemical imbalance, which the correct medication may be able to alleviate. The more information you have the better chance you have of finding a solution that works for you. I know none of us would choose to take medication, but sometimes it can be beneficial for depression/anxiety related illness. Of course, a healthy lifestyle, diet, exercise and social activities are all important too but may not be sufficient on their own. Take care,

[gogogirl]

What is your career? It sounds great.