looking for help and someone to share with.

i have suffered this for a long time i think it started when i was 4 years old and i found my baby brother in his crib, dead from sids.

i had small outbursts all through my childhood but the drs. chalked it up to nerves.

i lost my left hand in an explosion in 1969 when i was 15 yrs old. i went through a lot of mean nicknames and jokes. i kept it all bottled up until my dad past this last september. i had uncontrollable anxiety attacks for weeks. i finally admitted myself to a psych ward for a week. they helped me a lot and i have been in counseling for a few months now. just before christmas it started to build up and on christmas i had an anxiety attack and and had another on new years day. i still feel pretty anxious and my meds don't seem to be helping me any. all i want is to feel normal again but i don't think i ever will be again. i meditate and do my breathing exercises but i am having a hard time shaking it. does anyone have any ideas that help?

[Hidden]

Maybe try to think of some happy thoughts or listen to music you like! Best of luck to you!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

thank you, music helps but being able to talk to someone that experiences the same things i do helps even more.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Well I'm here for you? Anything i can suggest?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

i really don't know i am pretty new to this and am looking for ways i can cope with this.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It sounds like and i don't mean to sound mean, but it's time to move on . You need to do this for You!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

my attacks started when i was a child in 1957 they come out of nowhere. back then they called it nerves and they gave you meds that turned you into a zombie.my last few were due to my dads death and the holidays. there is no set time for mourning. i do not obsess about my dads death nor my brothers death nor the way i was treated after i lost my hand.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Wow what loss, I feel for you. Why you have been given such a difficult we do not know. I'm here for you! Anytime!

[Depressed1996]

Have you found what triggers your attacks? For me it’s death. If I think about what happens after life I freak out. If I even think about anyone I love being lost somehow I freak out. For days.

Breathing exercises never worked for me personally but I did find something I thought was strange that did. ASMR you can watch or listen to on YouTube. It’s visual and audio stimulation that has many benefits.

Also I do take medication for my anxiety which helps on occasion but it’s not a fix.

I’m sorry to hear about your past And I pray you make it through this.

[Hidden in reply to Depressed1996]

thank you for your kindness, i think stress triggers my attacks not being able to get home before my dad died really blew me away. and christmas was hard because it was my dad's birthday.

it really helps to talk with people like me. thanks for your reply.

[Depressed1996 in reply to Hidden]

Of course. My dad passed away when I was 16 and I have had that hole ever since. If you ever need to talk I’m here. Feel free to message me.

[Hidden in reply to Depressed1996]

Death also freaks me out. Am an only child, and lost my dad right before my thirteenth birthday.(very bad age for social and sexual development)

Anyway, mom went back to work and I was alone, scared and felt abandoned. Then I started worrying about loosing mom.

I’m 66 now, moms gone. Been told that this caused ptsd and just can’t seem to put it behind me. No support from my husband, he freaks out when he sees tears.

[Hidden]

You didn't ask for the this! Please forgive yourself. I love you and care!