Hello everyone, i'd like to start with an introduction. I met the love of my life more than a year ago. We met on an online dating site, I'm Mexican and he is Irish, we started talking on October 10th, 2016 and we had an online relationship for the following 5 months. He came to Mexico on March 5th, 2017 and we got so in love with each other that we made plans together. Then, i flew to Ireland five months after. On August 5th, 2017 and we decided i was gonna stay there, but for some immigration reasons i had to come back to my country but we planned i was gonna apply for a 8 months student visa in February 2018. We lived together for 3 months in Ireland and we had so many plans and dreams. He said to all his family we were gonna get married next year and everything was going so well. When i left Ireland he said he loved me, even we both cried so much for being apart. Novermber passed and everything was ok, i was feeling so lonely and depressed and started demanding so much attention from him and we started having some problems cos he was working so much to save money and take me there. I was so ungrateful, and after a huge fight he decided to break up (through skype), but i was the first one who suggested it! Then i regreted and i begged him to still have our relationship but he didnt want. I apologised and i have changed my way of thinking and the only thing i want is us back. So we have barely talked for the last 2 weeks and a half, he says he loves me but he can't be with me cos he feels so negative about us, that we are on different pages in our life and he would be stopping me to do stuff and have a good future cos i deserve better. He didn't tell me this before and he said everything is cos the age difference. i'm 23 and he is 36. There is a 13 years' gap. So even if he says we had an amazing time and we had plans and misses me so much, he keeps saying the same. I'm really heartbroken and i feel really depressed, i barely sleep and eat, i don't want to do anything and still have no job cos i left everything in my country for him. i sometimes text him cos i wanna know about him, but if i don't do it he doesn't do it either, even if he is online using whatsapp and facebook, he ignores me completly. I can't live like this i feel hopeless and without a future, i don't know where is my life going, i don't know what to think. All the memories are brought back and makes me feel worse thinking of what we had, even using facebook and see posts of his friends that are my friends too affect me. i cry everyday and i'm having lots of anxiety. I don't wanna give up on him and move on cos i really, really love him and want to have a family with him and he still says he loves me so much and misses me but i don't know.
p.s. I have asked him if there is another girl and he says no, i have asked him if it is cos there is a huge responsability for him for me to be there, he says no, it is not about money or other stuff, it is cos the AGE!!! but i really feel that he doesn't love me anymore. At the moment i'm in Mexico and he is in Ireland, really hard to fix things when we are so far away.
I would like to get an advice or something. i really need it, i feel miserable