I stopped seeing my therapist

[Josie2394]

I started seeing a therapist for 2 months, and after one of my sessions when we touched on a sensitive subject, I found myself avoiding therapy. I then stopped going all together and I feel guilty...I feel guilty for trying to keep it together in every session, embarrassed for crying, and upset with myself for giving up on my treatment. I don’t know what to do, how do I go back without feeling like she is going to judge me or be upset for wasting her time? I mean, logically I know she wouldn’t be, but my mind tells me not to go back. I’ve gone down hill and I am now ignoring everything, my feelings, my anxiety & depression, i’m pushing it down and pretending like i’m ok. It’s gonna boil over again soon, I know it...should I go back?

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer]

You should definitely go back but I have a feeling you already know that. You're not wasting her time. She's a therapist so if you go there and act like everything's fine and dandy THAT would be a waste of her time. They're human so I cant say that they won't "judge" us in some way but the reason we go there is for them to evaluate us, so I assume that requires some judgement? But not in a bad way. Facing our issues it's not always easy but the alternative is worse. Go back.

[Josie2394 in reply to kinikia95]

I do know that I should, but i’d just feel so ashamed for leaving. You know? But it helped so much having someone to talk to..

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer in reply to Josie2394]

I do know, but I'm sure they're used to that after what seems like a breakthrough. You're making a big deal of it like we always do and I can't speak for her but I have to imagine that she is hoping to see you again and will be nothing but happy to hear from you. Please go back and get it over with. You tell her you feel bad, she will reassure you and 5 minutes in it will be like you never left.

[Josie2394 in reply to kinikia95]

Yeah we have quite the talent for overthinking things lol but thank you, i’ll call her this week.

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer in reply to Josie2394]

Smart girl!

[gogogirl in reply to Josie2394]

Is there someone else you can talk to also like a friend or family member or a PCP?

[gogogirl]

If it's doing you some good then I would go back. You are in the captain's seat. Therapy as we know is hard work. Of course they are human but if someone is a good fit- then maybe something will work. Only you know if you need therapy or a supportive group of people or peers. I just started with someone different due to the last one not only being judgemental but also having a temper tantrum and threatening to leave the room! The new one seems like she has a different approach. I know unloading on a stranger while they get paid for it sounds like a pretty strange concept- but for a lot of people it can help.

[Anxiety5]

Not all therapists are right for everyone.

I was very very fortunate to find one who helped, and once I was helped I thanked her and left.

Write them a Thank You and move on. You are stronger than you think you are.