Thoughts that kept popping up

[Jld0010]

Went to an antique fair with my wife over the weekend. It was 200 miles away so we stayed overnight for a couple of days. On the drive to and from, I kept thinking negative thoughts like what if a plane where to crash on us, what if I lose control and drive into oncoming traffic or a lake. Their just thoughts that kept popping up in my head. I was wondering if anyone else gets these thoughts. Do people that don’t suffer from anxiety think these thoughts. I don’t mention this to my wife because I’m afraid she might get a little too worried about me.

The fair itself was pleasant but frustrating at the same time. I’ll walk done one isle thinking, “OK, I’m enjoying myself for the first time in a long while”. Then I’ll walk down the next isle and think “Well, I can’t fully enjoy myself because of the anxiety I know I’m going to feel soon again”. It’s crazy. I didn’t use to think this way. It was never this bad.

Your thoughts would be helpful.

[HigherLearning]

I had an “OMG” moment reading your post because I’ve had similar moments since I was a child. I’ve never shared these thoughts either because I’m afraid of how I’ll be perceived. Some thoughts are so unlike me that I scare myself! I wish I had more answers into what triggers these things, but I’ve decided to share this at my next appointment because it can definitely be overwhelming or even frightening.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to HigherLearning]

Good idea! Recognizing your thoughts as unusual and not acting on them makes it perfectly acceptable or normal. Do not be afraid to discuss them. You’d be hard pressed not to find someone who has random or sinful thoughts at some point! Trust me. Anxiety sufferers or not!

[pinkmermaid13]

Hello! I have thoughts like that too! I think a lot of people do.I also think once these thoughts start stealing your joy you gotta do something about it. Talk to your wife if not someone else you can trust. Positive responses can make you feel better. you just need someone to say "don't worry everything will be okay"! I love telling myself, "Dont let your fears stop you from doing something you want to do!" There is danger everywhere and crazy stuff happens all the time but dont let your mind dwell too much on "made up" stories in your head. Trust me I know I think of crazyyyy things and I hate the thoughts too but I just tell myself "its gonna be okay".

Did something tragic recently happen to you or a close one? That can possibly

contribute to the bad thinking.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I have no idea what people without anxiety think and feel. I definitely have all kinds of random over the top thoughts. With anxiety everything looks bigger! Although your fears are very real fears. There are many things that can happen to us at any given moment. My thoughts come and then I’m thinking of other things. Sometimes I voice my thoughts. My sons nickname for me is “random” My mom though constantly tells me that’s not important or something. I hate that! Obviously if I’m stressing over something bad it’s important to me. However rational or not! Her telling me it isn’t doesn’t help. I recall driving down the road thinking I wonder how fast I can go before I crash. Or I wonder if the pain would stop if I crash into that tree. They are random and kind of pass through my head. I have such a hard time focusing though I quickly move on to the next thing. I’ve never been diagnosed but I say ADD. My son just calls me random. It’s similar to turets syndrome. (Spelling unknown) I just randomly pop things out that come into my brain. I’m not diagnosed with that either. I also though hold the long lasting anxiety in most of the time. I do not recommend it and at least you are here! I would bet though that if your wife knew you were hurting she would want to help you. Comfort you. Maybe communicate small at first and gauge her reaction. Like”honey I’ve been having a lot of anxiety lately.” If she seems concerned but wanting to help explain that you are aware after the fact that these may not be serious things to worry about but you can’t seem to stop those feelings. I suggest you talk to a therapist though that can help you recognize triggers and develop coping mechanisms. Even stop the thoughts before they manifest into serious anxieties. It is very common though. You know your wife better than anyone. I’m speaking as a wife and mother. I know when they are hurting it would hurt me worse if I didn’t know and could not comfort them. It’s bred into most every woman with some exceptions. Holding it in and not discussing hinders your healing. Trust me I know! So if not to her, then to us or a therapist. Journaling is also a very good way to get things out especially when you have no one to give it to out loud. I know this too. My husband and I do NOT communicate and when I do he wuickly dismisses my feelings. It has truly hurt our relationship and made me feel very alone! I hope you can find a way. Chances are she can tell when things aren’t right and may be worried already because you don’t talk to her. Again I don’t know her and I’m speaking from a woman, wife and mothers point of view. Hope this helps, I’m sorry you don’t feel like you have an outlet. We are here though!

[Windy101]

I remember feeling exactly the way you described while at the fair. Are you in treatment or on any medication?

What you can feel really proud of yourself for is making it through a difficult situation. That took courage and strength! No one is going to give you a medal for it, but you surely deserve one.

If you're not in treatment, I encourage you to seek out help. You don't have to feel this way. Life can be so much better for you. Meanwhile, you're not alone and we're all here for you.

[Jld0010]

Thanks to all of you.

I did go through two rounds of therapy earlier this year and discussed some major issues I had gone through during my childhood. I also uncovered some hidden things from my life that I really never paid attention to. One example, I’m an architect and I always have collected pens. When I test the way a pens writes I usually find myself doodling something or writing my name, my brothers or fathers name on a piece of paper. But a lot of times I would also write the world “HELP”. Why, I don’t know but it must mean something inside me. Also when I would get confronted by a difficult situation I would sometimes think to myself or even say out loud “OK lets go to bed”. It was during these sessions that I realized that I have been suffering from worry and anxiety to varies degrees most of my life. It just has not hit me as hard as it has now, I’m 54. My wife already knows about my anxiety and the particular raised level it’s in now. She is a very strong person emotionally and she just doesn’t understand it but she has been supportive. As far as meds, I take Diazepam (1) 10mg pill a day. I usually take it during my lunch time and try to meditate for 20-30 minutes. Anyway, I’s great to think out loud and write about what's on my mind. This is a great forum. Thanks again for your replies.