Words hurt

Words stick with you. I once had someone tell me that’s its my fault fo being depressed and that it’s my fault the way I feel and why I feel that way (I know it doesn’t make sense and I’m repeating myself but please bare with me). I once had someone tell me that I was a bitch, cunt, etc. for over fours and it stuck with me. I had someone show me that I meant nothing to them, they put their hands on me constantly and all I ever wanted was an ear to listen but yet I was the ear listening to hate and disrespectfulness. I once had some tell me that I was better off dead when I was attempting suicide. I once had someone who abandoned me when I needed their love the most. The same person would sit back and laugh at my misery and it wasn’t until it was too late that I began to notice... Words hurt and I’m still hurting!

[ComingUpRoses]

Words do hurt, and they can scar for a lifetime. That old adage about sticks and stones is most certainly not true. I'm sorry for all the horrible things others have said and done to you to cause you such pain. We sadly cannot control what others do. Only thing we can control is ourselves and how we act and react.

Hold your head up high, doll. You are none of those things that have been said to you.

[Hidden in reply to ComingUpRoses]

Thank you, I appreciate it so much 🧡 its not always easy but I try my best to.

[gogogirl in reply to ComingUpRoses]

Yes, I am old, and remember that expression. Sometimes it's words that stick the most. At the same time, with support we can assert ourselves, although it is not easy.

[this_is_me5225]

I know what you mean I got told that I was fat by people that were close to me almost four years ago and since then I watched what I ate and what I wore I still do even. no one understands what words do to people I heard once from someone that what you say is worse than hitting someone mainly because emotional pain is much worse than physical pain. your physical wounds can heal within a week a month sometimes a little longer but we always remember what people say.

[Hidden in reply to this_is_me5225]

Yes of course I agree with you, it’s very scaring, especially if those words are coming from people close to you.

[TKLOVE]

I couldn’t agree more mental abuse is a 1000 times worse than physical abuse as bruises heal and disappear but cruel words stay with you forever, I know exactly how you feel as over the years I ve experienced physical and mental abuse and the mental abuse is still effecting me now yrs after it happened, I lost all my confidence and it made me feel worthless which resulted in me excepting being treated badly as I didn’t think I deserve to be treated better and whenever I got involved with someone who treated me really well I didn’t know how to handle it and would be cold hearted and end up pushing them away as it was easier to shut people out than risk letting them in and end up broken hearted, being involved with several abusive men when I was younger ruined my life as I put up a wall and refused to let anyone through and I destroyed any chance of happiness and never settle down and I haven’t been in a proper relationship for over 7 years now so I can’t see me finding anyone now so I will probably be alone for the rest of my life, especially as the only time I leave the house is to go shopping or if I have an appointment, and something tells me I’m not going to meet the man of my dreams in Sainsbury’s or Iceland 🙈😩😆

[Hidden in reply to TKLOVE]

I absolutely agree. I’m going through all that right now and it’s not easy but all we can do is try. And I don’t think you’ll be alone for the rest of you life. You just haven’t found the right guy that’s willing to stay with you for all the things that you don’t like about yourself. Once you do then you’ll see how many people or men you’ll have lined up waiting for you. Maybe their wondering the same thing about you. They may be looking for you in Iceland or Sainsbury too 🙃🤗

[TKLOVE in reply to Hidden]

😂 maybe one day, I just need to get my confidence back as I’ve been asked out a few times recently but always make some excuse not to go, as I worry about everything from what to wear to what to talk about 🙈 but the main reason is because I’m not happy about how I look as I put on a lot of weight after being on steroids for years and I’ve gone from being a size 8 to size 14 and I hate it 😩

[Hidden in reply to TKLOVE]

I know what you mean but it’s never too late.

[blackcat64013]

Hi HealthLocked,

This article was gifted to me by a wise friend so I gift it to you

lifehack.org/articles/commu...

The echoes of what someone else has said about you keeps repeating over and over in your head. You can’t seem to shut it out.

The worst part is, it has made you upset or extremely angered by that person who said those mean things about you. That’s all you feel and think about all day. Your day is ruined.

During our lifetime, we meet all sorts of people. Not all of them end up being our friends. We all have different values and principles, so when we meet someone who differs in terms of viewing life, there’s bound to be conflict. Some are all too ready to express their disagreement, however nasty they want it to be.

You may be caring too much about what others think.

This is the underlying issue which a lot of us suffer from. We constantly care about what others think and how they see us. A lot of us do not like to be judged and we worry about the image we’re portraying to others. It may sound like a legitimate thing to do, as we do live in a society where we’ve to play by the rules, otherwise we may be shunned upon.

However, how much is too much? Why care about what others think to the point that it ruins our day and even holds us back to the things we truly want to do?

That is why the words which come out from others’ mouths hurt us. We let them hurt us. And there’s no point in that when it comes to our emotional well-being.

How to not let others’ words hurt you

These are the steps I take to making sure I don’t get hurt by others and what they say. It may not be the perfect solution, but the way I see it, they are the basic tips which, when applied, can actually surprise you with the results you want.

Replace it with a positive thought

When someone insults you or say something which you completely disagree with, it keeps repeating in our heads over and over. The reason it keeps going through in our heads is that, more than not, we are taught to deal head on with it. We are told to rationalize it, reason with it and even analyze it…which ends up being an ironic cycle as you passively deal with the thought, which is harming you in the first place.

Simply realize that these are just mere thoughts going through your head. Replace the thought with a more positive one. It could be a good memory, an optimistic view of the future or some cool scenario you’d really like to live. Maybe you’d call that wishful thinking, but if they’re just mere thoughts, why use negative ones and let them ruin your day?

Don’t let the hurtful words of others take control of your mind. Your mind is your mind, so control your thoughts and cheer yourself up.

Retort their words

A lot of times people’s words hurt us because we did not do a thing about it. We didn’t retort and make a stand for ourselves.

You may think, “Oh I just didn’t want to cause trouble,” or “It just wasn’t worth it”. But you may not realize that you’re simply repressing yourself. And when you’re repressed, you feel a void. That’s where the hurt comes from.

To not let others hurt you, you ought to stand up for yourself and make a retort when you disagree with what they say. This allows for expression, which pretty much helps to clear up the negativity inside you. Trust me — it will make you feel a lot better when you express yourself. You will at least know that you did your best and everything you could against things you disagree with.

Avoidance

The last tip is to simply avoid people who’re there to hurt you.

The problem here is that people always have an excuse to why they hang out with people they don’t like. Some people hang out with people they dislike because of their job or they don’t want to come across as petty. The way I see it, you ought to take responsibility for your own life. You may have your own commitments, but it doesn’t mean you can’t make the effort to surround yourself with positive people, which is something people forget.

So forget about commitments or living up to expectations for a second. Change your surroundings instead and get positive people along. It will make a difference and people aren’t going to be saying hurtful things to you.

Getting hurt by others’ words is a very common issue all of us face in life. Unless you’re extremely positive in life and totally focused, it’s hard to not let others bother you. Hopefully these tips will make a big difference. Give them a try and let me know in the comments what you’ve done (or are doing) to not let words hurt you.

[Hidden in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you for these tips. I will definitely start using them and see where it goes from there 💜