So, as of last week I've been finally coming out of another depressive episode that lasted almost all of October. In my last post, I mentioned how self destructive I was being by ignoring my problems, going out a ton, drinking, smoking, and so forth. But this weekend the universe (or life, or God, or whatever you believe in) set me straight. I ended up spraining my ankle and fracturing a bone in my left food on Friday because I was drunk, which means I actually have to take care of myself. No more stupidities, no more ignoring my stuff. And it turns out that the bone that I fractured is a really special one that, if not healed properly (which happens a lot), could stop me from dancing and performing for good. Theatre and dance are my life and to think about not being able to do what I love because of such a silly mistake. I do blame myself for this, which doesn't help my anxiety and leads me to negative thinking. But while I was at the ER, the nurse said something really important to me: "Notice that this wasn't something that you did, but something that just happened to you". I've been repeating that ever since and really reevaluating so many things. I'm done being stupid, I'm ready to get better.