alternate universe

[torpe]

This may sound like off kilter mind garble, but today I was thinking of alternate realities. Think of life as a choose your own adventure game where the possibilities are endless…Maybe there’s a separate world for every finite movement and choice. If ‘What if?’ we’re a world. If I kissed, if I said this…I didn’t allow myself to think of someone for so long and I’ve been bombarded by their name, dreams of them as soon as I let go…Celine Dion said it best with her song It’s All Coming Back To Me Now. Sadly, part of me wants to think it’s because they’re thinking of me. I think of them too, but had to get out to save myself. Still, they were the only one that tried to make me smile when I was in a mood…reached out even after I shut the door. I think still my glasses made of rose petals are somewhat on although a bit dried because of the sheer love I had for them. Maybe I’m afraid that no one will know me that well again. We grew up together and got very close. We’d spend so much time together. One day it was just all gone as if the final straw had collapsed a spine. I chose that. I didn’t say how I felt when I was hurt, I never do…I wasn’t perfect, I could be mean so part of it I understand. I shut them out for so long, but a part of me misses them dearly. Maybe not them, but the friendship. I keep hearing their name from other people and have to pretend it has some bearing in my life when it is just hollow now. How it used to fill me…now I just feel awkward. I have a terrible time explaining things so I ice skates around conversation. In my dreams we laugh together. We aren’t strangers. In my dreams, I am as affectionate as I want to be with those that I have complicated relationships with. I’d like to think it’s an alternate reality in itself. Anyway, I’m falling asleep and this is just a passing thought.

[Agora1]

Goodnight torpe Sweet Dreams xx

[torpe in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so very much :3 💖

[AuntBee]

Torpe, its not such a far off thought. It is said that every fork in the road that we come to where we make a decision in our lives, all the options we didnt choose, well they are energy and they continue on in an alternate reality. You can find this in a few books. The first one I recall is The Seth Material by Jane Roberts. You will also find it in books written by Dolores Cannon. You are a deep thinker indeed, Torpe!

[torpe in reply to AuntBee]

Thank you so much for these book recommendations, I look forward to looking at them…Thank you very much for thinking so! 💖

[fauxartist]

I do believe we can hold onto the fantasy of what we think we miss in a past relationship, and then only fantasize about what we thought we had, maybe a bit of what we did have, and letting go of that can feel like we are afraid we will be lost and never love again. But until we put things in perspective, and leave the past where it is, deal with all our feelings realistically in the here and now, around our dreams and hopes of what we think we left behind, we may not see the open door of possibilities in front of us to go through. It takes time, and that is the only thing that takes the sting out of loss, but we have to learn to let go for to even work.

I had been involved with a group of couples that had only known me as a couple, and when I was then single, all they would do most of the time is talk about my ex-, that isn't a friend, or a very kind thing to do.... So I had to let go of some people in my life too. I had to be seen for who I am as a person, not a broken half of a relationship.

[torpe in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you a lot for this. All that you say is true…If you run ahead while looking back, you may not see the tree ahead. I’ve been looking back too often because I refused to look back and when I finally looked, there were my feelings unresolved. There is so much greater ahead, you’re so very right. Thank you a lot for this message. I will take these words and run with them (looking forward, of course). 💖

[fauxartist in reply to torpe]

I appreciate your kind comment... and yes... life is a bumpy road... but when it's good, it's really good too... like your favorite ice cream... it's awesome.