Me, Myself, I and ANXIETY

[Reedz]

June 2009, a few months before getting married, I've met two new friends, Nervousness and anxiety.

Since that day, nervousness and anxiety have been my all too often companions for almost 8 years now. I never really knew how to explain to anyone how or what I was feeling. There never seemed to be the right words and no sentence I would put together made sense or adequately explained what anxiety was and how it affected me.

~The constant crippling feeling that every person in my life that matters is against me.

~The worry that something terrible is going to happen and it would be my fault.

~My mind going into overload because of something someone said to me and I overthink what they meant by it.

~Declining any invites to going out, even if I want to because of the fear of going out or doing something will make others not like you.

~Constantly replaying a traumatic memory over and over again until I want to scream.

~Frightened of doing usual activity, such as driving or crossing the road.

~The fear of losing someone I love and being over protective because of it.

I can now feel how my being caught up in nervousness and anxiety affects people around me. It makes people feel uncomfortable, I have difficulty saying exactly what I want to say, and what I say can sometimes be confusing because I hold back on what needs to be said.

It’s hard for people to understand anxiety and how it makes you feel if you haven’t felt it firsthand. It is not a choice and it’s not something I want to suffer from. If I could make it go away I would, but I can’t.

Therefore it can be really tough for the people around me. For me, anxiety effects absolutely everything I do. Every action, every thought. Anxiety changed me.

[poodlelover81]

Reedz,

"There never seemed to be the right words and no sentence I would put together would make sense..."

Man, I know the exact same feeling.

If you don't mind me asking, what caused/triggered the PTSD feelings?

[Reedz in reply to poodlelover81]

chronic meth abuse.. 😓

[Reedz in reply to poodlelover81]

thanks.. for understand. and for asking

[hannah821]

Have you thought about seeking help with your anxiety. I experienced some of the same feelings you describe. You don't have to live this way. Find a doctor you trust and get on some kind of medication. With a good SSRI you have a chance at a better life. This has been my experience.

[Reedz in reply to hannah821]

my first daughter name is Hannah as well.

I don't know what to do actually 😓

[poppet36]

Hi....hope you would like a new friend cos i could have written that. I like you already. Message me x

[Reedz in reply to poppet36]

You are my friends poppet36 😉

You can text me anytime you want. 😊