Hey guys. Ever since my diagnosis I’ve always felt different, like not myself anymore. So much that i don’t even remember who i was without my anxiety. I’ve always felt these waves of sadness but lately I’ve been noticing that I’ve had them more because I’ve had problems with a lot of people close to me. 1. I got in a big fight with a childhood friend and this girl told me some really bad things and I didn’t want to make the issue bigger so I simply didn’t reply to her. It’s been a month since I opened her message and she hasn’t apologized which is fine but it’s really hurt to loose someone who I considered family. 2. About a month ago, I was kicked out of my home. I used to live with my parents. My dad has always been a violent person, I saw him beat my mom for years and later me, there was 2 occasions where he beat me up so bad I had black eyes and swollen face. This recent one he was drunk and I came home late from a night out (keep in mind I’m 20 almost 21 in about 2 weeks) and he was arguing with me for no reason I knew I had came home late and I simply gave him my car keys and accepted any punishment we wanted. I was going up the stairs when we grabbed me by my Hair and dragged me to the kitchen where he kicked me everywhere I yelled and yelled at him telling him so much that I probably wished death on him. I think o did that because he has never apologized for not one beating not even the ones I had to watch him do to my mom as a little girl. He kicked me out and my mom let him. I currently live with my grandma and I’m safer but I feel so sad cause although I hate my dad now i didn’t always I’m sad because i feel like he should love me right. I’m his little girl he has to right? He hasn’t even tried to talk to me and it hurts I know it shouldn’t but it does and it’s really starting to affect me I feel sad not living in my home not having my bed, stuff, space. I feel like I constantly think about how downhill my life has gone in the past month and I try to be happy, I sometimes genuinely feel happy but then I get stuck in this spiral where I’m sad.