So recently my husband yelled to the point of me having to leave and cry for a long period in the woods for a mistake I made that could have happened to him and I would have made sure he didn’t feel bad about it if it were the reverse. Then it was hard to go back inside the house after o drive home. He never apologized.
Tonight my father blew up at me. It was a misunderstanding I think but he ended up totally going off on me when all I was asking was if mom was eating alright and I’m always his destress target he takes out on. My husband and son heard and were like what is going on. Long story short my father now does not want to speak with me anymore. Fine by me.
I put so much of my love into helping them and it hurts when these people give back hate to me and seem not to care about my feelings.
So went back to the park during the day this time with my kids and watched them my earth angels from a distance and cried and wished to be gone from all of it wished for guidance from God or angels or a hawk whatever is out there on my side...
I’m really tired. I won’t give up but it’s tempting.
After every difficulty comes ease...... but seem the difficulties are continuous and the ease is tainted somehow like my racing thoughts need meditation but I just find it hard to do right now I’ll keep trying.
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Starrlight
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I'm on your side sweetheart. Plus I know many more will come and support you. I am as sad and sorry as can be that your husband never apologized, but that seems to be a thing a lot of guys have trouble with.
Oh, this is too soon! Your father father blowing up at you. Did he tell you he doesn't want to speak with you anymore? I can hear how hurtful those terrible words are.
I remember you saying you found a great deal of strength after this happened the first time. You were unhappy that you beat up on yourself then.
Your kids are your blessing and strength. They don't need the pain you're suffering either. Keep whole and strong. You'll get through this too.
Yes I will keep whole and strong- ha my littlest just now came and gave me the most perfect hug I am so blessed and blessed to have you as a friend thank you
(Idiot.) Let him get over his rage. Probably he won't apologize either. I don't get it, but que sera sera, huh? Guys. Hmf. You be strong and hang in there!
Starlight sorry about the constant brain chatter and misunderstandings between family. I do believe you just showed yourself your time for meditation. You went into the woods and boom meditation time, you sat at the park watching your earth angles, another meditation time. You just need to use your calm down period into a learning moment. It doesn't have to be long just 10 minute respites for yourself. You don't have to use both earphones or close your eyes so you get positive affirmations into one ear while you smile at your sweet children. You got this it is all misunderstandings that can be gotten over. We aren't going to be here forever, make the best of it. Breathe, smile, meditate and live it will get easier. Good luck and gentle hugs 🫂🫂
Hello, you are a shining star and a great writer. I am so sorry your husband and dad yelled at you. You do not deserve to be treated that that. Walk away from it and it is best not to react. You are so lucky to have little ones. Talk to a friend or text it really helps and do something nice for you.
Hi, I just want to say your family is very lucky to have you. You would rather bottle up the sadness inside. I hope deep down they know it too. Suffering alone is never easy. I hope you are able to find reliefs in some way.
I read this quote once. Never truely understand it, but maybe you have better luck than i do.
"The most important aspect of love is not in giving or the receiveing: it's in the being... When I need love from others, or need to give love to others, Im caught in an unstable situation. Being love, rather than giving or taking love, is the thing that provides stability"
Aww..Starlight, that really touched my heart. Especially the thought of you running into the Woods. I remember a long time ago, my Husband shouting at me and I ran off. We lived in an isolated Spot at the time. A good distance away from anyone I knew well. When I came back, He had locked the door and I had to sit out in the dark for many hours. He would only let me in, if I begged him. My (ex) husband got in with everyone. Everyone liked him. There was only ever Me and his own Mother he was horrible too. Always shouting at and putting us down. One thing She and I had in common, was Mental health issues and Anxiety. I don't think he could deal with that. So I do know how you feel but, sadly I have No advice to give you. Except, to think of yourself, keep your chin up, and try not to take this too hard. Dubbax
((((⭐️))))I think when we are kind caring people we expect what we give. We think people should react the way we would. I learned the hard way most won't. So I beat myself up, I take their words to heart, and can't understand how they could treat me this way.
Going to the woods is perfect. Watching your angels is distracting to the pain you feel inside. They are your shining lights. They accept you for who you are. You love and provide for them and kids show the best love back. They do validate that we are good people.
Keep telling yourself you are a shining ⭐️, because you are
!!!!! So happy to see you here!!!! It’s a new day. Yes the ones who yell at us make can make us feel we are bad just like we learned growing up and we heal and our kids our angels help us heal they are such beautiful light and they see that too, in us, as beautiful souls. Thank you beautiful earth angel friend love the pic
I prey for guidance too. Any chance you could get 2 days away alone? I don’t mean get away to clear your head, because you did nothing. I mean get away to have peace and ponder new ways to deal with these people.
I can’t but I can take little getaways in my yard where no one goes for good amount of times so that’s a great idea thank you so much!!!!!!! (((((((((Iammesues)))))))))
Avoiding certain people to protect your emotional health is not a weakness. It's wisdom. Avoid your father for now, it's okay to protect our mental and emotional well-being.
Your husband may be much harder to avoid, understandably. Give it some time, and then perhaps find a quiet time with him and explain just how much the incident hurt you. He needs to know how it makes you feel.
Meditation can be as simplistic as a few minutes, alone, listening to soothing music or nature sounds.
Your feelings have been hurt and you have every right to feel as you do, this is a given, Starrlight.
You are fantastic I really love the words you chose. Yes I do little meditations and I’m staying away from my father. Just trying to hold it together right now honestly. Like within this last year I’ve come very very far moving forward and I want to continue but I sense some possible unraveling so I’m trying to go easy so I can stay okay.
Starr... then maybe you need to pull back a bit if you're not getting what you need in return. Sometimes we can be too giving to the people who just don't want it or care about it, that goes for even family, kids, friends, and partners. Also, sometimes we may be dealing with our own internal self-worth issues, and feel we always have to be proving our worth... we don't. We change what we don't like, make amends where needed, and get out of our own way. When we start taking care of ourselves, and caring about our own well-being...that filters out into our relationships too.
It's exhausting trying to do what you think someone else might want or need unless they tell us. Sometimes I thought I was being helpful when someone once told me that not everyone wants or needs my help. I was a bit hurt by that at first, but when I set my ego aside... I realized how much that made sense since I grew up with an overly critical parent who always had to micromanage 'everything' I did. It also is kind of a bit of a control thing, and I had to step back and take a look at that honestly too... wow... that was very liberating to realize that we can just leave others to do their own thing, right or wrong, it wasn't my problem. With our kids too we have to let them be who they are going to be, we give them some boundaries for their own safety and teach them kindness, but also to let them excel towards the person they will grow into. Just be supportive and have a box of bandaides for their boo boo's when they fall...
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clear the slate and start brand new. 
Beautiful landscapes and seascapes can be so healing.
So frustrated right now
I am NOT “strong and brave” (mild TRIGGERS)
