advice

[Sierramist]

Hello im not sure if this is to be discussed here but, my boyfriend of 4 years is a recovering addict and keeps relapsing which is hurting my mental health. Does anyone have any experience with addicts? Is there anything I can do to help him stay clean? every time he relapses it makes me super depressed and my anxiety sky rockets. Any advice will help thank you.

[Sierramist]

Unfortunately it’s not only alcohol it’s also hard drugs and he doesn’t want to go to rehab or do therapy

[Sierramist]

Thank you so much I really hope he gets helps and I will talk to my therapist

[Sierramist]

I hope he chooses to get clean I truly am in love with him and don’t want to leave him but it may make my anxiety worse if he can’t change

[Hidden]

Counseling is what I’d recommend first for you. Yourre basically the care taker of an addict and you need support.

To the extent and preserving your own mental health, you can’t help an addict from relapsing, the addict must want to stop on their own and put in the hard work to stay sober. If he does not want therapy for himself or rehab, this means he’s not ready to stop. He may attempt to quit for example if you threaten to leave him, etc. but relapsing could always be around the corner when he doesn’t have the tools to help him stay sober.

I know this isn’t advice anyone wants to hear, I’m sorry your relationship is going through this. I’d keep encouraging rehab and therapy, but def look into counseling yourself.

[Sierramist in reply to Hidden]

Thank you I am going to tell my therapist and see what she says I really hope he can change

[Hidden in reply to Sierramist]

He can change. He’ll have to choose addiction, his physical and mental health or you basically. Gosh that sounds harsh. Sorry.

You may have to draw very strong boundaries around your situation, these can be very tough choices on you to make. Your therapist should help you with advice and tools or point you in the direction to help you with being supportive and not enabling him. I know it’s a tough reality to choose things that are hard on the ones we love so much. You’re amazing for not wanting to give up on him.

Wishing the best outcome and healing for both you and your boyfriend. 🌺💜

[Sierramist in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your advice ❤️

[Sierramist]

Thank you for your advice

[Hidden]

Now that I’m done my hissy fit, you cannot ever stop his addictions. You have No power over this at all...

Stop trying with him because he is making your suffering worse ???

Cat

Thanks for helping the Cat to be Back !!!

😎🐳😺😂

[sophie4]

Hello long time friend Sierramist,

I've been MIA because of hideous depression.

Yes...I have a lot of experience with addicts.

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO HELP HIM STAY CLEAN.

First, determine if he needs to be in a rehab for a while. Getting him to admit and go will be a challenge. I hate interventions but this might motivate him to go to a rehab.

The GOOD NEWS is that he is a recovering addict which means he was able to get clean and properly motivated can do the same again.

Another relapse? Yup.

Remember the consequences you suffer when he relapses. NOT GOOD.

There's a number of groups you can join that may help you.

Depends what kind of relapse. I'm guessing it's drugs not alcohol.

Al anon...NOT correct spelling...crapolla...you can find out buy calling 211..a help phone place that can tell you.

Addiction is horrendous.

Please know that I'm NOT being at all judgmental.

Please let me know if any of this helps.

[Sierramist in reply to sophie4]

Thank you so much for the advice I’m going to talk to my therapist

[sophie4]

Please let me know how things are going. Try to keep OK through all of this.