insecure

[leo22]

Lately my anxiety has really been affecting me which is causing problems between my fiancé and I. Months ago he was going out and partying and staying out all night which makes my mind go crazy. He promises he has never cheated but he wasn't happy at home fighting all the time so going out was his answer. Now anytime we are together all I do is compare myself to every girl, I get so jealous and just don't feel pretty. It creates fights and I know it has to be so frustrating to deal with. I need to feel more confident about myself and stop letting my mind always think the worse but its so hard

[Loki1018]

Ohhh I know how you feel, that's one of my biggest problems my mind starts to thinking crazy and I'm extremely jealous when it comes to my bf and it's frustrating for him as well but he does his best to reassure me that he loves me, tells me how beautiful I am although I may not feel like it, and he doesn't want to be with anyone. At times it's hard for me to believe it cause you know actions speak louder then words and at times I'm blind and deaf to it. I been working on it since it does cause a drift between us at times. He doesn't go out much and if he does he wants me to be there but because I have acted out in public it's been awhile because he's scared that I will be embarrassing but I told him if you don't give me a chance then he won't know that I'm trying my best and I think I've improved. Sweetie I been cheated on before but he doesn't give me that gut feeling like I've had in the past with others and also I think to myself I'm independent, pretty, smart, and have no kids which is hard these days I feel like there are a lot of single parents out here and that who would be want to put up with him after they find out what they are getting themselves into with him and he comes with a lot of baggage and at times I think how stupid I am to tolerate and accept it all but it's because I do love him and want to be with him. Try to work on it and really tell your fiancé you need his support and if he can't do his part and all your really asking for/need is his reassurance about how he feels for you and that it's shouldn't be a task or even feel like a task then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship. I see it this way the chase doesn't stop once you got him/her it should always go on because when you stop working on each other the relationship dies and eyes begin to wander catch my drift ?

[leo22 in reply to Loki1018]

thank you so much for this sweet advice <3

[Loki1018]

By the way get with your girlfriends and have a night out get all dolled up while he's there to see and when he asks where your going tell him I'm going out and let that drive him a little nuts sometimes a little jealously doesn't hurt but too much can.

[Loki1018]

Girl you know your worth and seems like he does too since he put a ring on that finger and wants to spend the rest of his life with you so also try and give him a break its not easy dealing with us "women" we are already crazy just by being females and add the extra then we get psychotic lol and that is tiring and exhausting to deal with you don't want to push him or chase him away either I've been on the receiving end when I was dating a guy and his insecurities were through the roof I finally had enough and ended a 6 year relationship. Have you told him about how your feeling how his actions contribute even more to them?

[Justswimming]

Really doesn't sound like you guys are mature enough to get married. Go to the gym that will help with confidence. Stop comparing yourself... There is always going to be someone better looking ..who cares? He loves you rt try to work on yourself esteem ...why aren't you going out together and bring one of your girlfriends and her boyfriend do an activity play pool, miniature golf, hiking ...you don't always have to go to club or bar where people are tarted up...I'm guessing your only 22 that's kinda young to tie the knot ...maybe 25 would give you a better chance of making it work ...I hope you can calm yourself and make peace with yourself.. You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else and it doesn't seem like you love yourself ...love yourself there is no one just like you in the hole world..Be kind to yourself.. Do something that makes you feel good ..manicure..haircut..new perfume.. Healthy eating..exercise..night out with friend or family..best wishes

[Hidden]

Hi if you don't trust each other then it's a poor relationship. You aren't making your man do anything - it's his choice to go out all night partying not yours. If he loved you he would try and understand and help you. He would want to spend time with you.

I definitely agree with you going out with your mates all night partying and seeing how he likes that! x