I feel so alone with this. The people I have close to me don't really understand and I just wish I knew what I needed from them. I'm not depressed because I'm not volunteering enough, it's not because I don't have a super stong connection to my faith at the moment, it's not because I don't have the willpower to just "get over it." It's because I'm sick. I'm working through this.
It feels like at every turn I have someone trying to tell me I'm depressed because I'm not good enough. And then I start to believe it. But more than that, it just feels like it will never change. That's when I feel hopeless, self-destructive, and suicidal.
I'm just alone with my thoughts and it's so hard to get through the day. I may seem highly functional but every task and movement is like running a marathon.
This is so hard. I'm on medication and seeing doctors but the medication isn't helping yet.
Has anyone checked into a hospital before? When did you feel like that was the right thing to do? I feel suicidal more and more frequently.