Just don't want to feel so alone. - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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Just don't want to feel so alone.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
39 Replies

Hi everyone,

I just signed up to this thing. I've never done something like this. I have just been feeling very sad and lonely lately and thought that it might help to talk with other people who might be going through rough times like myself. Depression has made me very isolated from those around me. But I don't want to be alone. And those around me judge me and don't understand.

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Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24
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39 Replies
Tikirob profile image
Tikirob

Hi! Glad you decided to reach out here. It’s a start to challenging your feelings and trying to live a better life. I am lonely too do to my mental health and it’s only people on here and at my groups that seem to understand it. My father after going to 4 different OCD clinic thinks I self diagnosed what I have and offers no comforting words just arguments and my best friend told me he gives my disorder no recognition and now no longer talks to me.

I don’t want you to feel worse though! What’s been on your mind how are you?

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to Tikirob

Thanks, I be been doing a lot of self work trying to feel better. But of course there are ups and downs and thus week has been hard for me. And just like you mentioned my family just argue with me about my situation like I bring it upon myself.

Tikirob profile image
Tikirob in reply to Lidi_RT_24

I think that’s the hardest part, being blamed for how you feel, it’s true some of it could be helped by a better attitude at times, but if you are chronically struggling with your emotions then chances are the issue goes much deeper. And what happens is, in my case anyways, your start to wonder if it’s your own fault and if everyone is write or if everyone else is just not educated on mental health and is ignorant as to what is happening to you. It’s hard cause unlike a physical ailment there are no obvious signs, no casts or bandages. It’s crazy that if you broke your arm everyone around you would give you compassion but if your are diagnosed with depression, anxciety disorder, bi-polar, manic, etc which are all much worse than a broken bone more than likely will you not get the same sympathy.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to Tikirob

That's exactly it, just some compassion would mean the world to me.

Tikirob profile image
Tikirob in reply to Lidi_RT_24

That’s all I want too just one person to hug me and tell me I understand you are mentally ill and I want to let you know how sorry I am this has happened to you instead of “Well you just have to make better choices...change your ways...find a way try to behave differently...stop telling yourself these things...stop doing this to yourself” (tears) I hate it! I hate the lack of compassion for those who suffer with mental issues! Sorry 😐

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to Tikirob

Yeah they just give you a whole list of things that you have to change. Is makes you feel like you as whole is the issue.

Tikirob profile image
Tikirob in reply to Lidi_RT_24

One beautiful thing about that whole you is when you start to see yourself more clearly you also see just how cloudy the people who judge you are.

Nikiskian profile image
Nikiskian in reply to Lidi_RT_24

...Mother Earth could use a wee bit of compassion too...

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to Nikiskian

Yes it does

Tealribbon profile image
Tealribbon in reply to Lidi_RT_24

Yes!!! A little compassion goes a long way.

Arc8 profile image
Arc8

I always say that people who haven't lived it will never fully understand. I'm sorry if they are judging but honestly they probably just dont know what to do or say. They care about you but they dont fully understand depression so they dont know how to help. Talking with them when your ready can honestly really help but if they still dont get it dont blame them.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to Arc8

Yeah I understand what you mean. I do tend to avoid having those conversations with them . Just fear .

NorwegianWood profile image
NorwegianWood

I'm so glad that you're in this group. You'll talk to many people who suffer similar issues, and gain strength from our similar journeys. I hope that you're running, as physical exercise has been shown to be useful for those who have depression. I think it takes something like 6 weeks to have that effect. Hopefully you will be feeling some improvement before the end of C25K.

Nikiskian profile image
Nikiskian in reply to NorwegianWood

How about walking fast, fer us that have bad knees?!.

NorwegianWood profile image
NorwegianWood in reply to Nikiskian

Absolutely! Brisk is good if it can be managed.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to NorwegianWood

I most certainly have not been running. I had not thought about it, I will have to give it a try. Thanks

NorwegianWood profile image
NorwegianWood

Just thinking that signing up to this group is a significant step towards taking control back from depression. I've also learnt that honesty with trusted people is far better than pretending that you're okay. Make each day an adventure in creating the next step for beating those blues.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to NorwegianWood

Thank you! I will make that my goal, cuz you're right I know I have to open up to them.

Nikiskian profile image
Nikiskian

I am thinking positive thoughts yer way...let me know if they help??? 😉

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to Nikiskian

They do, thank you so much.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom

I am fairly new here too. I'm glad you posted. There is nothing like getting helpful, kind responses when you post from people who understand. You aren't alone.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24

Yeah just from all the responses I've gotten from this post alone I feel much better.

What brought you to this site? How are you doing?

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf

I joined today as well. Talking to my family and friends never seems to help and issues with my spouse contribute to my mental health state so he isn’t always the best to talk to. I spent the day looking at counselors, support groups, group therapy, and psychiatric hospitals. I found this place and hope it brings some sort of peace of mind. I wish that for you as well. 🖤

NorwegianWood profile image
NorwegianWood in reply to sarahmcf

May I encourage you to find a counsellor somewhere to help you along but this place is certainly a friendly, safe place. I trust it helps you on your journey.

sarahmcf profile image
sarahmcf in reply to NorwegianWood

I surely plan to. Thank you.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24

I understand, those around you always seem to know what buttons to push.

But I won't judge you if you want to tell me more about your situation feel free, I would love to hear more.

Greensummer18 profile image
Greensummer18

Hey! I understand what you are feeling. I am here if you want someone to talk with. I've been feeling lonely as well. Sending love and hugs your way!!!❤

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24

Thank you for your support, I will take you up on you offer to talk sometime.

LadyO4 profile image
LadyO4

You have so many replies here already so maybe you won't see this one, but I'd like to ask if you have any idea what has been bringing these feelings on. Has it always been this way for you, or is it something relatively new in your life? Depression has its origins in a variety of areas, and sometimes it helps to know what may be triggering yours.

People judge because they don't know what else to do. Best to stay away from that kind of negativity and attach yourself to life-giving people. Do you have anyone you are talking to about this? Someone who you can let down your guard and try to see what some of your options are for getting better?

Help and hope is always out there - sometimes it's a matter of where we look for it. list.ly/list/1CE4-looking-u...

Feel free to write back if you'd like.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24

As a teenager I had severe depression, lots of family issues among other things. At that time I just accepted it because I didn't know any better. But when I got out of the house and met new people I was able to lift my self up ( with the help of those around me of course), and things were better for the most part. I still kept in touch with my family.

But things slowly began to change. My friends moved away, got married or had kids or something else and I lost touch with them. I understood that things change and didn't feel betrayed or anything like that. It happened over a long period of time so I didn't notice how few people I talk to now days.

Now I have one true friend but she is far away and busy with her new family so we don't talk as much. All I have is my family. And I don't get out of the house or meet new people ( very self conscious of all the weight I gained). And basically I have dug myself back into this dark corner and I have none to talk to . I feel sad and anxious.

So this site was kind of a first step to talk to others, especially those who might understand.

LadyO4 profile image
LadyO4 in reply to Lidi_RT_24

I hope it feels good to be able to just get things out in the open - my personality type is that I crave meaningful conversations with those who know me the best. When I go long stretches without "connecting", I feel incomplete.

My story is somewhat similar to yours in the sense that I suffered from depression when I was young too, but kept trying to fill my life with people and things to mask the aching disappointments I felt about myself. It tooks years and years to finally understand what triggered the depression, and then find ways to combat it.

I feel it's so important to become educated about our minds, bodies, souls, and spirits, because they all overlap and each one of those components needs to be addressed separate from the the others. We are so fearfully and wonderfully made, and will get robbed of the joy we were created to experience when we short change ourselves and stay blinded to how much there is going in our favor.

Good health is paramount to keeping the depression from ruling our lives. Our brains depend on the foods we eat to function properly, and when there is an imbalance, we feel it.

Some people are born predisposed to depression, it's in their genes, so they feel they must remain a victim for life. But that is not true at all. God wants us well and gives us all the tools to do so. Finding the right help brings hope.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to LadyO4

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. What you said about good help is very true and that is my goal right now. Working towards good physical and mental health. And not judging my self for the feelings I have or thinking that I must be like this all my life like you mentioned.

NorwegianWood profile image
NorwegianWood

Hi, Lidi_RT-24. I found this site after I found Couch to 5K - another NHS site. If you're ready for some exercise to help with how you're feeling I would recommend it. healthunlocked.com/couchto5k You download podcasts (or an app if you wish) which takes you very slowly into running, building up your stamina. If not ready for running, then brisk walking over two months has been clinically shown to improve mental health - equal to medication. In most cases depression doesn't have to rule our lives. I'm not sure that we can ever erase it but taking care of ourselves helps a lot.

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24 in reply to NorwegianWood

Thanks I appreciate the info, I'll look into it. I really would like to to start and if it helps with my depression then all the better. Thank you

JustBreathe2Day profile image
JustBreathe2Day

Hello,

Like you I have just joined this community and have never done anything like this before. I have been struggling with depression for 6 years and ever since I first started dealing with it, I can remember immediately feeling so isolated from those around me. It’s always been a push/ pull effect with wanting to be connected to people but at the same time feeling like no one around me understands. It’s hard not feeling disconnected when you know that those around you don’t understand what you’re feeling. I remember opening up to my family years ago about how I was feeling and I only received judgement, which as you can probably imagine only made me feel even more isolated from them. It can be an incredibly hard position to be in but hopefully you can find people in this community that can relate to you and can show you that you are not alone in your journey. Best of luck to you.

NorwegianWood profile image
NorwegianWood in reply to JustBreathe2Day

The world is changing. There is a much greater understanding of depression than there used to be, although not everyone has that understanding. While those around may not understand depression personally like you, there are plenty who do. May I encourage you to seek out a counsellor, perhaps starting with a GP if you have not done so already. Talking to people is so helpful. Anyone. Anyone who has the heart to listen.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helps, physical activity helps, mindfulness helps, submerging yourself in nature helps, journaling helps, listing positives helps, recognising the catastrophising helps, smiling helps (truly - it doesn't even have to be heart-felt). My mornings are terrible, but the knowledge that it's a chemical issue help me persevere.

Sunshine425 profile image
Sunshine425 in reply to JustBreathe2Day

💕💕Welcome to the community

Lidi_RT_24 profile image
Lidi_RT_24

I understand that completely. Especially that push pull effect. You want to be there but it's hard.

And honestly just from all the responses I've gotten so far, it's already helped a ton.

Sunshine425 profile image
Sunshine425

Welcome! I hope you find this site to help guide you into better days. I just joined 8 weeks ago and Ive already made a few friends on here that stand by me on my darkest days. 💕 I check in with a counselor too but on here I have an extra outlet and dont have to feel so alone, again.

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